not sure if she is Virgin or not. I am a virgin

[Massari]

this is very embarrassing to say the lease. I dunno it never happened for me I never had a seriose relationship before I met this girl.. she is 19 turning 20. we have been together now for 6 weeks. I am nationality X. she is nationality Y. her last BF was also nationality X same as me. they have been together for 2 years.. and he dumped her over email (what a coward),she said she even got back with him again after than but it never worked out. she kinda talks about him here and there sometimes I it bothers me, the thing that bothers me most is that the though that she might have had sex with him and it really pisses me off.. I know I shouldn't feel like that. but we have strong feelings for eachother she said she loves me and she said never said that to anyone and that she feels something especial with me. I never loved anyone before she came to my life, she is the best thing that has happened to me. we both said we love each other 2 weeks ago which was a big step in our relationship I think.

 

 

anyhow lets get to the point. we are planning a trip to Montréal together

and I have a feeling it might happen. and I am terrified, what if I suck and if its not her first time she would know that its my first time and then I'd feel embarrassed. well she knows she is my first G/F one of the things that I was terrified of telling her not knowing what she might say. She said she appreciates this and that she feels special, the best possible reaction I could imagine. I love this woman so much and I just want to know what do you think I should do. I mean if the guy is the virgin and if the girl is not. .I dun even know if she is not. is there a way to find out? earlier she did tell me something that she broke up with someone cause she wouldn't sleep with him I dunno if thats the same dumba** or not!! I dunno what to do here never the less I love her and I have never been happier in my life.

[bobo85]

2 years together? i'm pretty sure she's not a virgin. But why dont you just ask her?

[itsallgrand]

The first time I was in love with a man: I was a virgin and he was not.

We eventually made love.

During an intimate moment I shared with him how scared and my doubts about how he would be feeling or thinking about the fact that I had no experience.

Turns out, he was worried about the fact that he had been with someone before: that it wouldn't make me happy, that he had not saved himself for being in love, all these things.

 

None of it mattered. Not really.

You love someone for the person they are, not their past or what they have done in the past.

We all come with our own experiences. What is important is what we are doing now.

 

It's normal to have these types of thoughts: but if you two care about each other....she really won't be thinking those things! She will be so wrapped up in loving you and enjoying you and the moment...truly.

 

Have a wonderful trip.

[Lunabelle]

I love her and I have never been happier in my life.

 

Then stop worrying! It will all be okay!

If that's really how you feel, what difference does it make if she's a virgin?

 

Even if she's not, that doesn't necessarily mean she'll be "skilled" at what ya'll are thinking about doing. Since she knows you are a virgin, she can't very well be expecting some over-the-top performance out of you.

 

Like any other learned skill, making love takes practice! Of course you are nervous, just like the first time you drove a car, or asked a girl out. Doing new stuff makes you nervous. Doing new intimate stuff makes you crazy. Try to go a bit easier on yourself. Take the whole race card out of play here, too. Or am I missing the relevancy?

[MewSkitty]

I know how you feel. Being a virgain and being around people that aren't makes you feel out of place. As for me, right now I will only date a virgain. It will be that way until I get married and lose mine. Everyone has their own views on this.

[Dako]

Virginity is the most important thing in the world, but only to virgins.

 

After a while it's not the sex, but the emotions that matter. Don't worry, if you're with a caring person, it's wonderful.

[Lunabelle]

Virginity is the most important thing in the world, but only to virgins.

 

LOL! This is the point, in a nutshell.

 

I'm so glad you post on this board Dako. You crack me up!

[Massari]

well that was actually kinda my point too .. I guess I didn't adress it it would be great if she was a virgin.. but I love her so it doesn't really matter.

[Süsser Tod]

Virginity is the most important thing in the world, but only to virgins.

 

 

Hahahah!!! You know, that is SO TRUE! When I was a virgin, I used to care about it. My girlfriend back then, didn't, she wasn't a virgin. And me being a guy, well, I went along and had sex with her.

It was perfectly fine, she had to show me some tricks, and I was a good student

 

 

Now, I'm not virgin anymore, but my new girlfriend is! And somehow I wish she weren't... It doesn't matter to me, but obviously, she cares, and all in all I'm having fun with her, but if she weren't a virgin there wouldn't be so many mind barriers that she has built around her virginity.

 

I'll be flattered the day she agrees to have sex with me, no doubt about it, but I think that the most important part will be the relief of that pressure.

[pumkin_fairy]

talk to her!!!!!!!!!

 

jen

 

xxxxx

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

Argh I wouldn't be a virgin again no matter how much you paid me! It someone gets a LOT easier as soon as youve had even one experience.

[Dako]

I get a kick out of militantly proud virgins.

[flutegirl23]

2 years together? i'm pretty sure she's not a virgin. But why dont you just ask her?

 

not necessarily. my boyfriend and i have been dating for 3 years and are both still virgins. it depends on each person.

 

but, like everyone else has said, if you both love eachother then it shouldn't matter right? also, you said you're not sure whether or not she had sex with him. why don't you just come out and ask her if she has? unless her answer will have some sort of effect on what you think about her, but it shouldn't if you love her.

 

and also, even though i am still a virgin, i fooled around with a guy (my first to do that with) before my boyfriend while he never has. ps, I'm more satisfied with him then the other guy who was more experienced.

[Massari]

not necessarily. my boyfriend and i have been dating for 3 years and are both still virgins. it depends on each person.

 

but, like everyone else has said, if you both love each other then it shouldn't matter right? also, you said you're not sure whether or not she had sex with him. why don't you just come out and ask her if she has? unless her answer will have some sort of effect on what you think about her, but it shouldn't if you love her.

 

and also, even though i am still a virgin, i fooled around with a guy (my first to do that with) before my boyfriend while he never has. ps, I'm more satisfied with him then the other guy who was more experienced.

YES.. exactly.. thats the thing I am thinking about.. my best friend and his GF has been seeing each other for over a year now and they are both Virgins.. he is 21 . so there is a possibility.. but hell no I wouldn't change my mind about her.. I would be pretty dumb and ignorant. but it would take the pressure away from me knowing that she is like me also to say the least.

[Massari]

ps .. and also many of you guys are saying just ask he.. I dunno how to ask her and if it would be kinda weird to just ask her such a straight up question???

[sophie274]

Hi there

I am currently in my first serious relationship. We started having sex a few months ago, and were both virgins before. When things started getting kind of hot and heavy, I decided I needed to have a talk with him, to find out about past relationships/experiences and so on, did he want to take the next step, and also all the technical issues about birth control, stds and so on. I also wanted to find out what his thoughts were on (premarital) sex, pregnancy if it should happen and so forth, especially as he is catholic (I guess I thought there might be some issues there). Yes, initiating conversation was pretty awkward. I pretty much asked bluntly. But after the initial blushing we had a really good, intimate conversation in which we both shared a bunch of personal things. After talking to him - and finding out that he was a virgin - I was a lot less stressed. It was actually almost two months after that conversation that we ended up doing the deed, but I remember it as a really great loving moment. I would suggest talking to your girlfriend. Remember, if she has had sex before, that's ok. She's with you now, so you have to believe that when she tells you she loves you, she means it more than any other guy she's said it to. I think if you are both open about past experience and what you want now, it will go fantastically well. Good luck!

[bathroomslipper]

ps .. and also many of you guys are saying just ask he.. I dunno how to ask her and if it would be kinda weird to just ask her such a straight up question???

 

my gf isnt virgin. she told me the truth when i asked her out. and you know what? i fell in love when i saw she has the courage to tell the truth.

now we are deeply in love and I really dont care if she's a virgin or not. i asked her to forget everything what happened in past and told her that she's still virgin for me.

 

my suggestion is, if u really love her. just forget that she ever had any relation with someone else. for your own sake.

[justpaisley]

Call me crazy, but isn't it a good idea in general to know the sexual history of someone you're potentially going to have sex with?

[Sylph]

ps .. and also many of you guys are saying just ask he.. I dunno how to ask her and if it would be kinda weird to just ask her such a straight up question???

Actually I find the straight forward approach to be the best way of doing it. I don't think anyone would say that beating around the bush is the best way forward in any relationship. Tell her what's on your mind, that's what most good couples do, they share things.

 

I'll pretty much say the same thing as everyone else has been saying, don't worry 'not being good enough' or anything like that. I mean think about it, do you really think this women would come out with a line like "I'm sorry, I'm leaving you, you're preformance in bed wasn't good enough for your first time." It's not going to happen realistically. Just don't freak out over this and you'll wonder what you ever worried about a week later.

 

Call me crazy, but isn't it a good idea in general to know the sexual history of someone you're potentially going to have sex with?

Only if you're concerned about possible STIs.

[lizylyz]

if she's a virgin, then you both won't be all that great anyway so it'll take practice, something you'll both enjoy.

 

if she's not, then she'll show you what she likes. Let her know its your first time (she'll probably tell you if its her first too after you admit this), if she loves you then this will only make her happier, its something real special your offering her.

 

don't be bothered if she's not a virgin, sex and making love are entirely different and since you both love each other it'll be making love and it'll probably be a first for her too.

 

Don't forget protection: condoms and pills