do they really work??????

[Yvette84]

Hi, well I met this guy on the net, and were not serious or anything yet, but we do really like each other, anyways we are going to meet soon and I was just wondering if LDR really work????? he lives about an hour and a half away, I always promised myself I wouldn't get into a LDR for MANY reasons (one is I NEED quality time with the person often!) but I really like him, I'm just wondering on all your takes on LDR????

[ksk0_0]

LDR can work in some cases, but in most of them - they just don't work out.

 

but in your case? only an hour and a half, rather than a few states or something away is good. I think it could work for you if both of you have faith and trust in your relationship and see each other every now and then (say every 2~3 weeks or something?)

[passions1]

The only couples I know in which LDR worked when both sides had a steady income to be able to afford to see one another & had schedules that were flexible enough to make those visits.

[annie24]

well, an hour an a half away isn't bad at all, if you both have cars, or at least one of you does. You can see each other 2-3 times a week even! maybe on weekends, and then you can meet halfway for dinner or something.

 

It's very doable if you can afford the gas money.

[arwen]

I have been separated by 1500 km (2,5 hours by plane) and my current bf and I live 200 km (2 hours by train) apart. We used to be housemates though, lol, so we spent the first months very close. I think it is fine, an hour and a half is not really long distance as having an ocean between you. Just see where it goes, and don't have too many expectations.

 

Take care,

 

Ilse

[AnotherBrokenDoll]

Ok LDRs can work if its love. It wont work if you lie or if its just a crush, but if this is the real thing itl work out!

good luck

[Misschris1031]

LDR's work! I do not care what anyone else says.. I have only had 2 serious relationships in my life and both were long distance (started as).. It is not like I plan who I fall in love with so I do not prefer it. I do not choose who I fall in love with. That is another important part. Keep it casual until you know you are in love, otherwise it is not worth the heart ache. Cause it does suck some of the time. It is totally dependent on the couple and how committed they are to each other. LDR is the same as any other relationship. Let me warn you that you will get a lot of flack from everyone, all of the time. Especially guys that want to date you.. it is total crap.

 

Also too, LDR are not for needy or dependent people. If you are the type of girl with no friends, career and life of your own, that is always concerned with being with your BF 24-7 ( not saying that you are but some girls are like that), then do not get into a LDR. Do not get into one if you are easily jealous or insecure ( I mean abnormally) All of these things do not work for LDR. That is a little advice for you.

 

I had a few guys before I met my current Beau ( lives 1 1/2 hours away) that were long distance guys (one I met on the internet and talked to for 4 months before he told me that LDR don't work.. jerk!). All of them seemed interested but eventually the relationship question came up and they told me some bull about how LDR don't work and this and that... That is when I dropped them. That is all bull. If you love someone, you make it work. That is what commitment is all about. You make it work, no matter what. Both my bf and I believe the same thing. We have been dating a year. I think that we are stronger than most other couples and enjoy our time together because it is sometimes few and far between. We both have careers and make it a point to hang out as much as we can. I think the fact that he wants to be with me even if I am far away is a true sign about how much he cares for me. After a few other dudes told me a line about "it will not work" it goes to show you that it can... I would question this guy a little ( cautiously) about what his thoughts are about it. He may not be even be thinking that is an option for him.. seriously, guys can be lame sometimes....but they will get into bed with you if you let them.

 

LDR teaches you to be strong and less reliant on one person for all of your happiness. It is not for everyone. You have to really be honest with yourself about whether or not you can handle it.. Can you have your own needs met? It is fine if you can't, it does not make you lame...like I said it is not for everyone.

[munchkin1607307375]

Yes they definitely do work.... i did the whole long distance thing with my boyfriend between England and Canada... then two years later i moved to Canada, but still long distance in a different province for school.... its 4 years now since we first met and he's moving provinces and we're about to move in to our own place together in June! i'm very excited! (we've lived together for the last year nearly now but in a shared house and on and off between my semesters away at school)

 

BUT... they do require a lot of work and commitment, and they can get quite emotional and stressful at times.... but if you love each other then they are definitely worth the work!

[rose2summer]

I have been in a long distance relationship for 9months and loving it. We live on opposite sides of the US, but he comes out to visit me every couple of months, we talk on the phone everyday, and I know he is the man for me. They are hard, do doubt, but it's possible, if you really love the other person.

[novaseeker]

They work best for people who are capable of not having their SO around that often, and who have the wherewithal and time to travel fairly regularly to see their SO.

 

It's a cost/benefit analysis which is going to calculate differently based on everyone's preferences, which are different. If the "cost" of not having your BF local (in terms of not seeing him every day or every other day, in terms of time and money spent going to visit, etc.) outweighs the "benefit" (the good times when you actually are together, the getting to know each other despite the distance), then it may not work ... but again it takes a certain personality profile for it to work. It doesn't work for everyone.

[RayKay]

They work best for people who are capable of not having their SO around that often, and who have the wherewithal and time to travel fairly regularly to see their SO.

 

It's a cost/benefit analysis which is going to calculate differently based on everyone's preferences, which are different. If the "cost" of not having your BF local (in terms of not seeing him every day or every other day, in terms of time and money spent going to visit, etc.) outweighs the "benefit" (the good times when you actually are together, the getting to know each other despite the distance), then it may not work ... but again it takes a certain personality profile for it to work. It doesn't work for everyone.

 

I agree with novaseeker here.

 

Statistically at least, they have the same chances of working out as a non-LDR, but it takes certain people, and I really think you need to have a goal together of when you will be living in the same city. I don't think they can survive an infinite amount of time.

 

However, I would also not consider 1.5 hours by car 'long distance'. I have had LDR's (they did not START that way, but for other reasons became that for periods of time) that was 8-9 hours away (which was for about 6-7 months), and another that was in Australia while I was here in Canada (the LDR part of that was over 1 year, but we were together for a year prior, and three years after).

 

They require very good communication and commitment, in addition to both sharing the goal to being together in the same place.

[Jhodas]

LDRs can work, if you are the right kind of people. My housemate's bf was away for about 6 months, came back and the fire was clearly there. I think both parties need a certain level of maturity and a LOT of commitment.

 

I myself need regular contact. It's just the way I am. Holding down a LDR would stress me out. I'd just end up missing her too much. Not that I would stray. It would just cause me more pain than I could deal with.