Jhodas

My neck gets me, and nibbling my ear while breathing heavily. Don't know why, there's something primal about the latter, gets me fired up. On the other hand, there is the experience Cardinal has. When kissing goes beyond merely a physical act of intimacy and becomes a wordless expression of emotion. In a strange way, rubbing noses has much the same effect on me (as well as kissing).

Forgive me for being blunt, but sounds like it was just a one nighter. Could be many reasons behind it. From the tone of your posts it's not like you fell in love with the guy, so don't stress to much.

Sounds like you're having lots of fun, which is always a good thing. However, there is such a thing as too much of a good thing. He obviously cares about you if he wants to get an apartment. The real test will be if he'll follow through. I agree with sumguy, there's a time and a place for craziness!

Quoted for truth! Would you complain if your bf was too hard? Didn't think so.

Playing hard to get is a mind game. A battle for control. It also infuriates men. And I agree, sometimes it's difficult to differentiate between lack of interest and 'playing hard to get'. Perhaps the direct approach might be in order. Although you may want to bear in mind that she is leaving. Sometimes the fantasy is better than the reality. If you can live with not knowing how she feels after she leaves, just keep socialising. I you think it will bug you, then ask her. If she's not willing to admit that she likes you when questioned directly, she's probably not worth your time.

Eye contact, smiles, subtle compliments (don't be too enthusiastic with these). Word play is a great way to flirt. Puns and quips (if judged correctly) will lift the mood and alleviate tension. There's no real textbook to flirting. Practise makes perfect tho.

Now I'm all for men and women being friends, but a long weekend? In her bed? Smells bad. Sounds like he was using you, or her, or both, just to see who snapped first. That's the kind of thing a boy does. Not a man. Good thing you kicked him to the kerb. Oh and breaking into someone's email is illegal

I've been someone's rebound more than once. The first time it hurt, because I really cared for the girl and she left me to get back with her ex. We're still mates though. Another time, i was on the rebound as well, so when it came to a close, it was something I could just take in my stride. The only way you can avoid becoming someones rebound really (IMHO) is by exercising caution. Take things slow. Even if they are not aware they're on a rebound, if what they feel for you is simply something on the bounce, interest will probably fade. Caution. As with anything. Then again, if you don't take any risks, what's the point?

OK. So I'm the bad guy. Again. Why, because I'm mature enough to move on from my feelings? Because I'm friends with a woman? Because I'm friends with an ex? I had sex with her once. Once only. It wasn't even that good fs. I spoke to some of her friends, all of whom have told her to get over it. She even spoke to my friend, who, of her own accord, told her side of the situation, and basically, to get over it. She won't. Two possibilities have occurred to me: 1) She is holding this as an excuse to be distant so that 'when i cheat on her' (her words, not even if, when) she can say she never really liked me anyway. 2) She's cheated on me, won't admit it, and is trying to get me to break up with her so I end up the bad guy YET AGAIN. Either way, she wins. I'm giving up. Second update. We had a talk. The upshot of which was: 1) She is insecure. 2) She has a problem with my relationship with someone I used to have feelings for. 3) SHE DOES NOT WANT TO TACKLE EITHER OF THESE. She complains about being fat (she ain't, she's gorgeous) yet wont come to the gym with me, or even go on her own. Any time I treat her to something, or even go to hug her, she's suspicious of an alterior motive. Most of the time I do anything nice she's like 'why are you being so nice to me?' She puts me down, say things she doesnt mean, shuts me out, pulls away from me for no apparent reason, doesn't like talking about her feelings, doesn't like me talking about my feelings, doesn't reach for me, hardly shows affection unless I initiate it, hardly ever makes an effort to do anything nice for me (except look good when there might be another woman within 10 feet). Need I go on? I feel like I'm hanging on to her for the sake of it. I'm sick of being something she can pick up and put down whenever she wants. She has issues she needs to resolve, and I can't resolve them for her. I told her she is the only one that can deal with her insecurities, but she has to want to. She said she doesn't. She doesn't even want to try. I'm wasting my time. I don't want to waste any more. I refuse to give up my friends. It ends tomorrow. I pity the next man who falls for her. He has his work cut out.

Were you wronged by a man before? That's the only reason I can think of for such a question. The stigma attatched to men being the major infidels of the species is wearing thin. Women cheat just as much. How would a man know his woman isn't fornicating (sp) with the next door neighbour while he's out of town? Some men cheat. A lot don't. Some women cheat. A lot don't. Just because you're hungry, doesn't mean you eat the 3 day old pizza you found lying in the gutter.

teddy, no disrespect but if it was that simple, surely the two of them wouldn't be getting on like a house on fire and going out together without me later in the week.

No offense aggie, but i have to disagree strongly. There is a girl I know who has more guy friends that girl friends. She says it's simply because she cant be bothered with the social politics, backstabbing and b*tching that she went through with some of her female friends from a long time ago. I'm sure the majority will agree that men are much simpler creatures than women. Some women prefer this straightforwardness and become part of predominantly male cliques. I for one, think it's a good thing, as the presense of a feminine entity often tempers the torrent of testosterone that runs through male groups. To the original poster, I wouldn't worry too much. If you're naturally drawn to guy friends, then have guy friends!

It depends on them I feel. The mechanics of kissing work because two people are playing off each other. Just depends what kind of vibe you get when your lips first touch. Let the kiss grow if it wants to.

I'd be very very hurt. Not for the fact that she told her bf, but the fact that they made fun of you. Besides, unless you're very close to her bf, its none of his business.

You know him better than any of us. It could be a ploy to try and get you back. It could be that he simply cares about you and worries. Or it could be that he is, as you said, 'morbidly curious'. A lot missing here: How long were you together? What was the discussion about? Why were you angry?

Sounds like she needs a lesson in etiquette. I don't give a flying duck who's calling, you don't stop for anything short of world war 3. It's rude.

I use porn. My gf doesn't understand why men use porn. I don't need to use it when she's around, even if we don't have sex. It simply does not occur to me. I get insomnia sometimes, so may get up and go to my pc. We sleep like spoons, so if she hasnt given me any, I will be aroused. What do I do? Play some games! The thought of masturbating never enters my head when she is near me. She also did something amazing: Suggested we make our own movie. Girls, you have a problem with your man looking a porn? Star in your own movie! I guaruntee you it will be fun to fun to watch, and even more fun to make. Plus, you are the one he'll be fantasizing over when you're not around! EVERYBODY WINS! God I can't believe no-one has suggested that already!

I personally would save the innuendos until you know each other a little better. She may see it as coming on too strong. I like to play devils advocate sometimes (of course, let her know you are doing this). Just get her opionion on something, pretty much anything, and start the reply with 'I'm just playing devil's advocate here but...' followed by a fair and polite criticism of her idea. Bingo. You have a debate. the finest form of conversation. Just be very careful you don't let it turn into an argument on the first date!

Congrats!!

So we're having a good night out. I'm lavishing affection on my lady like I always do. My friend (yes THE friend) shows up. My level of affection DOES NOT CHANGE. She begins pulling away from me. When more of my friends show up, I move my chair round closer to her to make a gap on the other side. When more or her friends show up, she makes the gap between me and her, breaking my grip on her hand in the process. Her friend sitting next me offers her seat. My gf declines. She spent most of the night talking, laughing and jokin with my friend. She leaves the table. Fair enough. 15 mins later I look round and she's sitting at a table full of guys I never met before. She never told me she was going to speak to anyone, never said anything as she left the table. I'm feeling a little territorial, so I go over, give her a hug, offer to buy her a drink etc. She declines the drink and introduces me to the guy she's talking to (who's actually very nice, and covertly slips into the conversation that he has a gf, indicating he picked up on my insecurity). She doesn't respond to my hug. 10 minutes later I find out she told one of her mates to tell me that she was getting on really well with this guy. Her mate just came clean. 20 more minutes go by and even my friends are starting to miss her at our table. I go over a second time (against my better judgement) and overtly ask her to come back to our table. She plays for time ('in a bit'). When she does finally return, there is no eye contact, no conversation between us. By this time we are both pretty drunk. She is still talking and jokin with my friends, including the one I have history with. She even invited her out later in the week. We said goodbye at the end of the night, but it was a formality. I'm leaving the dust to settle at the moment, trying to write this objectively (failing miserably) I think she was trying to make me jealous. I rose to it. She still wasn't happy. I also think she pulled away from me in the hope that I would ignore her and pay more attention to my friend so she could throw that at me the next day. I saw that one coming, made sure my friend was settled into a conversation and started talking to HER friends instead. (Safe ground in theory). What exactly did I do wrong here? My gf and my mate get on fine. I don't change when my mate is around, and neither does my level of affection for my gf (as far as I'm aware). Yet, I find my lady feeling the need to indulge in petty junior high antics. None of her friends understand what her problem is, none of my mates understand what her problem is, and when my friend addressed the issue (I didn't put her up to it, I never would) all she (gf) could see was that we had slept together. (FYI, that was November 2004, and I know what was said because I had half an ear in the conversation. Yes that's a dirty trick). The strange thing is, my gf noticed that I was being unusually affectionate over the past couple of weeks. So have I, but it's not deliberate. I think it's something to do with spring... More opinions plz? We're having a 'talk' later tonight. Without alcohol.

Then you would have a crush on/be in love with her. I think you're missing my point. I said attractions are not always sexual. Whichever gender you make friends with, you are going to be drawn to these people in some way. That's dangerous ground in my experience, and the wrong reason to be friends with a woman. You will always be craving something more, and you will never give yourslef the time needed to get over your own feelings So that you can be friends. To some extent, this is a case by case scenario, every case is different.

I think men and women can be friends. I also agree that there have to be boundaries set. However, if you really are 'friends', and neither of you feel anything beyond that, these boundaries can set themselves in a way. I also agree with tropical, there is an attraction of some kind. Attractions are not always sexual (although they may begin like that and evolve into someting different). I have a large number of female friends, all of whom contributed to helping me get in touch with my feminine side (the journey towards which is by no means complete, or even advanced). These are people I care about for who they are. Some I find physically attractive. Some I find more emotionally attractive. None of them would I try to forge something sexual with, or even want to.

I believe a woman's vagina is much like a woman as a whole. Beautiful, complex, mesmerising, confusing and most of all, unique. Cherish what you got. By the sound of it, you have quite a healthy relationship. Thus I am led to believe that if your man had a problem, he would find a way to broach it. The only preference men tend to express towards that area of a woman is shaven or not. Other than that, i really don't think we mind.

Five times in one night?! And you're surprised he couldn't keep it up the next day? I wouldn't be able to get out of bed! much less do anything in it. The problem is DEFINITELY not you. It's not him either. It's biology. Let him recharge his batteries. Most likely he's tired. This has a powerful effect on men with regards to maintaining an erection. More than once I've been unable to perform due to sheer exhaustion. If the problem persists, see a doctor. I for one, doubt it will.

I concurr. Get the hell out. Leave. Break contact. Staying in contact with her is only going to damage your self esteem further.