I'm gonna commit suicide!!!

[clan2009w]

Hey guys,I'm new here one of my counselors at school suggest I go a forum where I can get help,rather then expressing my thoughts in real life,so I don't feel ashamed.So I signed up here,today and these maybe my first and only post because I'm thinking about commiting suicide,my life * * * *en sucks.First of all I'm errrr 17 years old still a virgin,I'm about to be 18 soon.I have NO friends nobody in school likes me everyone calls me a nerd,dork,geek,loser and other bad names,most like to call me pee herman or white steve erkl.I get picked on like everyday,seriously no joke the guys espically the one in my football team like pushing me around but today they put me in the trash can,then threw a bottle of poop at me,they literay make my life miserable.I cut my wrists now,no girl like me,nobody likes me.My own parents don't like me expect for my mom,butmy dad man he hates me,he says i'm a sissy and a wimp.He told me several times he wishes he had another son.I have ran away soo many times away from home,but that it isn't helping me.My life sucks, I have nothing no friends,no girlfriend,nothing I don't go to the mall, the last time I was at the mall was when I was 10 years old and it was with my mom.I never been to a party,I'm not a normal teen basically my life sucks.So i'm here to get advice,is I'm thinking about commiting suicide,like hang myself or stap myself,so if anyone can alteast inspire me or give me advice on how to live life,I would be appreciated other then that commiting suicide is in my head everyday,and today might be the day,i'm not sure if i will kill myself,but I might do it,but I need to be inspired or motiviated by something I need help guys,if I don't respond today or post anything else in 2 days or 1 week it means I have killed myself,please I really do, need help me!!!

[bobo85]

please talk to a counsler or call a suicide hotline.

 

Believe me that suicide is not the way out. Be happy that you were giving the gift of life.

[clan2009w]

suicide,is the only way I got nothing my life,completely nothing!!!

[Outcast-Angel]

ok, first off, there's nothing wrong with still being a virgin. i've always been impressed if i meet someone who waiting till they were actually legal before having sex. too many of todays youths are pressured into having sex young.. i did, and i've regreted it every day since. so don't worry about it! look at it this way, no one can spread rumours that you're got an STD or anything like that. as for your football team, there's no way that that's acceptable behavior. i've been on sports teams, and i've coached them. i know that some pranks are to be expected. but why do they single you out so much? where are your coaches, when all of this is going on? do you even enjoy playing? if your coaches aren't aware of what goes on, they should be made aware of it, immediately. if they are, and just don't do anything about it, i don't think you should continue to play on that team.

high school if a hard place to be, i know. good news though, it doesn't last forever! the name calling is immature, and you shouldn't have to put up with it. (nerds can be hot, btw, and usually pretty smart.) why do you care what they call you? they clearly don't know you, if they don't hang out with you.

hang in there, i'm wishing you luck, and hope you feel better.

[coollady1957]

Have you ever gone for professional counseling outside of seeing just a school counselor. You need to speak with someone where you CAN talk things through in real life.

 

Everyone here on the forum will support you and help you as much as you will let them. I would suggest you take the opportunity to get some advice here. There are so many great people On the forum that have alot of insight and alot of things they can tell you.

 

There are some members here that have gone through the same type feelings you are having , and they are still here. Give it time to get advice here. I truly thing this is a good place to bounce your feelings off others and get lots of advice and support.

 

You say that no one like you except for your mom. I am sure she loves you alot and would be very hurt if you took your own life. It would always leave her wondering what could she have done to prevent this from happening.

 

If I were you I would just show all these people that you are NOT going to let them get you so far down that you would take you life, no matter what.

 

I do hope you continue to come here and seek the advice and thoughts of others.

 

I have a 19 year old son and I know that I would be horrified and would live a total nightmare something like that happened to him.

 

Give it a chance, please ? !! Coollady1957

[clan2009w]

Wow,you guys are giving me good advice,but man my life sucks soo much,i'm tired of just cutting my wrists its not killing me,fast enought but if I commit suicide it will make everyone alot happier, I mean every weekend I spend being on the computer and being alone, my own dad hates me.

 

P.S. If I don't respond or post anything in 1 week or 2 days it means I have killed myself!

[Meow18]

Outcast Angel couldn't have said it better. High school is horrible for that. People are so immature and so into trying to be cool, that they pay no attention to the people they are hurting. But it won't last forever. You will be surprised by how much people change between high school and college.

 

But you know what? You will win. You will be a better person. Through all of this, you are going to be so strong.

 

Try to be confident. Don't let words hurt you. Things will change so much for you in the next couple of years. Just give yourself a chance to become part of the world where people are more mature and more accepting.

 

And as for being a virgin, that's actually great! Sex is not as amazing unless it's with someone you really care for. It's more than just something you do for fun. There are so many other things to worry about other than being a virgin. Seriously, some girl is going to be so lucky that you waited for her.

 

What do you want to do after high school? Do you have any future dreams or wants?

[Outcast-Angel]

suicide will not make everyone happier. your mom will be devestated. and whether or not your dad shows it, so would he. it wouldn't make you happier. because this is the thing. if you kill yourself, you're dead, and you won't know how your life would turn out. you'll never know what love is like. you won't know what it feels like to finally be done with high school.

if you ever find yourself a breath away from killing yourself, you need to call a crisis line. or, you could break your mother's heart. it is your choice in the end. but i think you need to give yourself breathing room. stop thinking about all the reasons you should kill yourself. start thinking about the reasons you shouldn't.

[coollady1957]

You would not have to feel ashamed if you spoke with a professional counselor or a suicide hotline.Counselors are not going to shame you or make fun of you.

 

If you see a counselor your visits would be held in privacy and not talked about with others. You have nothing to be ashamed of. You have realized you need help and I think you are willing to put forth the effort to get past all this.

 

 

Once again there are alot of good people here on the forum . You have seen already from the replies you have so far that people are concerned for you. This is not a place where people give you advice today and forget about you tomorrow. People here like to follow up with you and keep in touch and offer help at any time. Please take advantage of that.

[clan2009w]

No girl will ever like or a guy will like me dude,im a pathetic nerd who needs doesnt deserve to live.Well after highschool I want to be animal doctor.My time is running seriously cutting myself,isn't killing me fast enough, i'm gonna sign off these forum and call the suicide hotline,after that well I don't know really.But I would like to thank you guys,you guys are the first and probaly only people who even bother to respond to my topic and listen to my pathetic nerd,I cant believe you guys are not bothered by me complaining about how life sucks, thank you and bye!

[orgasmictofu]

No girl will ever like or a guy will like me dude,im a pathetic nerd who needs doesnt deserve to live.Well after highschool I want to be animal doctor.My time is running seriously cutting myself,isn't killing me fast enough, i'm gonna sign off these forum and call the suicide hotline,after that well I don't know really.But I would like to thank you guys,you guys are the first and probaly only people who even bother to respond to my topic and listen to my pathetic nerd,I cant believe you guys are not bothered by me complaining about how life sucks, thank you and bye!

 

A veterinarian? Let me tell you it ain't easy. I'm on the same educational path myself. There have been a lot of tears and a lot of hardships. But I'm trying to get back on track.

 

But at least you have a direction. Stick with it.

 

Life's tough, but suicide is not an option. EVER.

[Meow18]

You know, it's normal to want the things you want. We all want things that sometimes we just have no control over. Sadly, we can't just talk to the kids that make fun of you and expect them to magically mature overnight. That's just not something we can help.

 

You do have a choice though. You can choose to let those people, who have no clue about you, hurt you. You would be letting them win in your game of life. They have no rights to treat you the way they do.

 

There has to be something about yourself that you like. Don't you have any hobbies that you are great at? I actually think you are quite admirable. You are admirable to me because you don't fit in with the popular crowd. I was never popular back in school either. So I can relate to you in that way.

 

Making friends is a whole nother story. It's so hard to make friends. But you know, we can help you with that! And we want to be here for you.

[Meow18]

Hey, if you want to call yourself a nerd, go right ahead. And seriously, there is nothing wrong with being a nerd in my opinion. We are all unique and it's ok to be different. But you haven't yet convinced me that you are pathetic.

 

I think that really, all you need is a little confidence, and people will see the person you really are. You are so negative about yourself. Don't you have enough people making you feel bad about yourself already? You need to stick up for yourself!!

 

You have a goal in life. You have something you want to do in your future. How many people your age can say that? How many people my age can say that??

[GottaLetItBurn]

Dude let listen to me.

 

How many guys do you think make it out of high school having had sex with a girl already? Not as many as you think, usually happens because a girl is desperate to get it over with and gets with some guy that she dumps a couple months later. Don't worry about it..You want to hear something..THink about the move Scarface. Tony Montana the god of every bad * * * "IN" popular urban kid is like the hero of them all. IN the movie he gets no action from any girls until he makes it big, you see him at the pool with that other guy talking about how to get girls cause they can't get any. This is a character looked up to by rappers and all those kids who think they are cool.

 

You say you have no friends?

 

I had one bestfriend and all the others that everyone thought was my cliq were just out for themselves. I went to parties, and all they are is people standing around getting drunk. DO you think it's a big deal that people gather at a house and do nothing but sit around an drink? It's not, it was boring and I never see any hook ups except for hoeish girls getting felt up by some drunk guy.

 

You want girls to like you? You have to have confidence and charm. You have to build you character and not give a * * * * what anyone thinks. Try and get into fashion and dress the best way you can.

 

The key you might be missing in your life is to find a PASSION.

 

You are looking around at other peoples lives thinking they have it great and you are missing out.

 

Try to make ONE good friends, because that is all you need trust me. Ask anyone and they might realize themselves that they usually only turn to ONE of them for advice and support.

 

You are very lucky your mom is there for you, why would you want to put her through pain of losing you?

 

Things can't get better if your dead, things can always get better when your alive. Dude trust me, you can run into people in your life you never saw coming.

 

You are have to stick around to see if you meet that one girl. You will probably get your heartbroken once or twice along the road. IN the end you will probably be looking back wondering what the hell you were thinking not wanting to continue on with life.

 

I'm telling you, don't worry about people think. No ones life great the whole time. You have to work with what you got.

 

Talk to your mom about it if your feeling depressed. Try and find something in your life that you have a PASSION for, it will take you far.

Don't worry about trying to have all lifes great experiences by the age of 18.

 

If your pacient, it gives you time to learn how things really are, and appreciate a good things when it comes to you later in life. Keep your head up.

[Daddy Bear]

bro, i hope like hell that you did call a suicide hotline and i hope that you were able to come back and read the rest of these posts.

 

check it out: my high school years sucked, and i mean suuuuucked. i was picked on for being a geek and caught hell from so many angles i thought i was a human pincushion. not to mention that my parents moved me a to a strange state where i had no friends and we were so poor that my clothes came from the "slightly irregular" rack. and yes, i did cut my wrist in the 10th grade and ended up in the hospital.

 

but thank god i survived, b/c it wasn't long before things turned around like they always do. i found a cool bunch of misfits like myself to hang with and pretty soon i had a girlfriend who i ended up marrying. we had two awesome kids, both of whom became killer guitar players, and to think i almost f***ed myself and missed out on that, plus all the great punk rawk shows that i've been to, the simpsons, south park, etc., etc.

 

put away the blade, partner. there are millions of people out here who are ready and willing to get behind you, and there is NO SHAME in asking. please post again and promise us you're going to get some help, mmkay?

[Spugly Fuglet]

hi hope your still there, I have some words which if you would be so kind as to read my be os use.

 

I am you, your life was my life 20 years ago, my dad hated me callend me a freak, a waredo and soft lad, he lost his 1st child a boy and said I was no good and that my dead older brother would have been 10xs the man I will ever be. He said this ever and over. At school I was the target of all hate for being slow and unabel to spell (I found out years later I am dyslixc). I lived miles from other kids on a farm so had the odd freand.

 

I hated myself and my life. I spend years thinking of kiling myself, then one day another kid at school did comit suicid. I was shocked he was one of the most populer kids in school, he left a note saying how he had no freands and was picked on all the time.

 

you know what went throw my mind when I found out.

"What a whip, what poff",

I have had 10 times the C%3P that kid did and he broke and I'm still standing, hell he was one of the gits that picked on me.

 

From that moment I know could get throw school.

 

Now, I have a grate wife, grate job, and have taken some real hits from life and I'm still here.

 

Life makes us who we are, it can crush you only if you let it see its all in the mind and you hold all the power there, no one makes you feel things! you make your self feel them, each day of pain can make you stronger or waker which is 100% up to you

 

See each day lived takes you one step closer to your dearms.

 

You have set your self a dream

do not stop until you get it. Read ever thing you can about if find others who are doing it and go see them, talk to them make them your peer group. (not some spoty teens who have not lived yet,) get a part time job doing you dream.

 

Don't worry about sex nature as spent 1,000,000 of year making you ready for it, you start heading for that dream of yours and you will be stunned how fast posibel partners spot a deadecated and adult atitude, all you have to do is be

stabel, kind and honest.

 

once you start on this road you will start to feel better mark my words.

 

and rememer,

 

"the pain now will make you more of a man than any, who seek to couse it"

 

good luck, and post when you get to vet school

 

Spugly

[devyn]

do not kill yourself!!!!!!!!!!! if you do, i will be very sad!!!

my childhood was terrifying. i had to face horrible abuse from my stepfather and cruel teasing at school. if you hang in there, you will see things turn around I PROMIISE!!!!! if you were my son i would kick their a**es and sue them for harassment and emotional/physical battery. it is not ok that you are treated that way, it is an outrage. find a lawyer in your area and find out what your rights are, most of them give free consultations.

i believe in you!!!!!! find something that you love in life and devote yourself to it, find a sport and develop yourself, martial arts would be very good for you.

you do not deserve this. i am sorry about your Dad, mine doesn't speak to me either!!

do not kill yourself!!! you are not a wimp, they are the a**holes!!!!

go take a martial arts class & become the next Bruce Lee!

remember, i believe in you, do not give up. keep us posted.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

Well, here's one thought..school isnt for ever! OK, so childhood sucked for you. It did for a lot of people,sadly. But when you leave highschool etc, none of that will be in your face everyday.

 

I for one really want you to live, because these people who have bullied you are not worth killing yourself over. Truly. Update us, and good luck.

[jubeanation]

Well hell, there'll a hell of a lot more 17 year old Virgins than you'd think. I'd suggest reading Neill Strauss's The Game, or PMing me for info on it, as I'm getting a hunch that you're pretty unhappy with life and relationships, and that book really gives you alot of clarity in those regards.

 

Also this is a forum about problems. A big big forum. Just ocs you've only got a few peopel commenting, doesn't mean there wouldn't be more caring.

 

High school is rubbish yes, but there is an out to it all other than suicide, which is really just hanging on until you're out of there.

 

And trust me - my frinds are nerds - nerds DO get laid.

 

Please stop the negative 'im so bad i suck' crap.

1 - it's indulgent... it's making you miserable even though you know deep down it's not true and you have alot of value.

2 - If you tell people you suck, they believe you, and treat you as such - why do you think arrogant people have so much success? PEople will take you at your own estimate.

3 - you begin to believe it more and more.

 

Hoping for the best with you.

 

Brenton.

[yeawutever]

clan2009w as much as you hate what's going on, suicide will get you no where. Don't you wanna start college after you graduate and get a degree on something, work for a living. Yes school years can be tormenting, teasing for me practically stopped by the time I reach high school, but heck when I was in Elementary and Middle School, it was the sarcastic comments every single day and in my thought, I kept wishing how it would be to beat the crap out of them and have them all at mercy, in my feet. But no, I knew I could never really hurt anyone and that teasing will wear out someone day and guess what, now I'm at a university and in my sophomore year. In here, all I'm getting is mature people, yes clan as time proceeds some people do change, not everyone stays the same. And you may be surprise as to find those people who have hurt you so many times, they're gonna be ruin and perhaps not gonna live a good life.

This is from my experience with this girl I had for 7th grade. She was just 4 "10", I think, the smallest girl in Middle School and I was 5"6" at that time. I couldn't imagine how can a small 12 year-old girl be so mean, so pathetic, had nothing else to do but go along with the other kids at school and start the whole teasing, she even initiated fights with me on two occasions and began kicking me on my legs as the people were shoving her towards me.

When she turned back, that's when I had a little nerve to respond back, I just punch her on the back as softly as I can to get her off me. That's when she turn and slap me, so mean. Yes, I was more than 20 pounds heavier and way taller than her. I could have beaten the crap out of her, but guess wut. As angry as I was, I felt bad for her and did nothing in respond, just stood there all humiliated and my head kidda lower, say nothing in respond. That's the only person that ever slapped me, but heck if someone just slapped me right now for no damn reason and was that mean, now I would have beaten him/her up.

Guess what happened to that girl, she got pregnante, IMAO. What goes around, comes around, it goes coming biting you back in your face esp. when you were very inconsiderate to that person, very mean.

[Bethany]

You can't be a vet if you're dead.

 

You have a future but your thoughts are letting you down at the moment, ignore them. Why not look into doing voluntary work in a local free clinic or animal hospital, they could always do with another free pair of hands?

If this is not an option, stick around, keep your head down, qualify and be the best vet ever.

 

Remember this next time you think you're a nerd.... Nerd's become rich successful people with gorgeous wives, especially if they are animal lovers, it's a turn on for most ladies out there to know their man is caring and wants to help animals. Don't forget it.

[Finchabald]

Im also 17 and ive been through very similar thoughts to yours. There is nothing wrong with being a virgin at our age. im still a virgin and im proud of it. i'd be lying if i said getting through this is easy. But suicide is not the best option. You say that your mum loves you - thats great. Im sure she'd be happy to help you. Have you told her how you feel? i agree with some of the other posts. If you think it would help, seek counselling. However, if you're not comfortable talking through your troubles i dont advise you do it. I had counselling and for me it made matters worse. It does help alot of people tho. You've done well by reaching out on here. It is a sign that you dont really want to kill yourself, and if you have any doubt you shouldn't do it. if you need someone to talk to, im here for you. PM me.

[zcloud]

If you die now, all those poor animals will have no one to help them. As far as no one/girl every liking you that's from a very small painful limited perspective. You can choose to look at the greater picture. Look at Bill Gates, he is married and he was like an uber nerd. At 17 almost everyone is scared and/or lonely. By 30 most have had interaction with opposite or same sex, whatever their preference, and are on their way to marriage, career, etc. Imagine all the things you could be if you were 27 and had a million dollars. might happen, if not being a vet is a worthy world contribution. Only you can limit yourself. Life may suck, but you do have to play and hang in there to win. Practice: laughing, silly grins, being happy for no reason, concentrate on flowers and plants, people/creatures less fortunate - what do they live for? how can you help them if that is your assignment here? Think bigger.

[leopold]

I can relate to a lot of what you are going through. I was picked on in high school and was called names because I was so small. I have also spent some time in a trash can and been hit it the head with milk cartons. Also I was a virgin until I was 21.

 

At the time I hated life and had thoughts of suicide. But a lot of things change. I grew, went to college, and now have no problems finding dates. Recently I attended my 10 year high school reunion. I saw a lot of the same guys that used to pick on me. The same ones I swore I would kick their a**es the next time I saw them.

 

However the funny thing is that they are now all fat. They are now the dorks. They are now the losers. I could have thrown all of them in the trash if I had felt like it and I could tell they were uneasy being around me. Like I was around them in high school.

 

You see I was the dork\nerd and had a bad life for about 6 years. These guys are the dorks\nerds for the rest of their lives. This is such a small part of your life. Dont take away your chance to be successful later in life. Dont let them win. Hang in there.

[yeawutever]

Clan, how are you??? Hope you didn't commit suicide, listen to everyone's advice. These guys that pick on you, they're gonna be losers for the rest of their lives!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!