Is Cheating Justifiable?

[aggierocker]

You're married, and you're wife doesn't want anything to do with you. She just can't stand you. She won't go out to eat with you or do anything with you. She won't even ride in the same car with you. Also, she is insanely into this religion that proclaims everyone but their religion is bad. Because of this she won't even work with the other co-workers at your work because she thinks they're all bad.

 

Divorce isn't an option because of financial reasons such as owning a business and religious reasons of being dragged into the religion yourself.

 

Would you seek someone else?

[Boricua7]

Why isn't divorce an option? Religious reasons?

 

I don't think cheating is ever justifiable. I especially think that whoever it is that considering cheating should have taken their vows more seriously. I can understand being stuck in a crummy situation, which seems to be the case here, but I still say cheating is wrong no matter what the circumstances.

[DN]

Yes - why isn't divorce an option?

 

Cheating is wrong, plain and simple. If you can't fix what is wrong then you should leave her.

[aggierocker]

Divorce isn't an option because of financial reasons such as owning a business and religious reasons of being dragged into the religion yourself.

[Boricua7]

What religion? Catholic?

 

What financial reasons do you mean? It may be hard but I'm sure things can be worked out.

[aggierocker]

Even worse, Jehovah's Witnesses, and co-owning a restaurant franchise with the wife.

[DN]

Am I right that this isn't about you but about someone else?

[Boricua7]

Oh thats hard. Is that the only financial issue here because it would take some lawyers but everything could be resolved if either partner chose to divorce.

 

Does Spouse #1 (mom?) know that spouse #2 (dad?) is unhappy?

[aggierocker]

Throw in the fact, that you could lose everything. And spouse #1 doesn't even care about spouse #2. All spouse #1 does is care about her religion and her God, and making sure that her son goes to the religion's church in his college town.

[bobo85]

Then she should have never said "i do" if she wasnt 100% sure she wanted to end up with him.

 

If divorce isn't an option....then get an anulment or a separation.

[Daddy Bear]

If cheating was a good thing, they would call it "going to Disneyland". Divorce can be hell in cases like this but imo it beats behaving scandalously or wasting your life in misery.

[avman]

Jehovah's Witnesses don't condone cheating either. You can't justify that based on religion.

 

Businesses can be divided or bought out.

 

I'm still not seeing the "divorce is not an option".

[shes2smart]

You bite the bullet and have a temporary financial crisis in exchange for getting your life back.

 

Last I knew forcing someone to join a religion was illegal in the United States. It makes for bad press, so I doubt any religion would take someone who was kicking and screaming NOT to join.

 

People have gotten themselves out of worse situations than the one you describe. What it comes down to is how badly does the non-religious spouse want out. If he(?) wants out bad enough, he'll do whatever it takes, even if that means financial disaster for the short term.

[Boricua7]

I agree, cheating is probably not condoned either.

 

If your parents won't divorce, then they could always separate and not live together. If they agree to mutual seperation then your father wouldn't be cheating.

[aggierocker]

She adopted the religion after she said "I do".

[itsallgrand]

Haha. There is no way around it:

Cheating is NEVER justifiable. It's is ALWAYS a poor way to deal with a situation.

 

There are always options.

[Jonboy582]

As for the going to a school that I gues you or whoever your talking about does not want to go to. Have you/they spoken to the mother stating that it is her religion not yours/theres? plus told them you/they do not think it benifitial to your/there education to go there.

 

Haha. There is no way around it:

Cheating is NEVER justifiable. It's is ALWAYS a poor way to deal with a situation.

 

There are always options.

Don't want to spark anything off here, but it could be justifiable IF. Someone got stranded on a desert island and could not be found 2 years later he was pronounced dead BUT infact was kida still married to the woman, and say after like 1 and a half years technically they still married but if presumed dead you cant blame the woman for being with other men so the cheating could be condoned lol.

 

But I agree 99.9% of the time cheating is not acceptable although in my eyes it is bordering it in this case (and I am someone who hates cheating) but it would be brought upon herself by the mother if it does/has happened.

 

p.s. please tell me who this is referring to so I don't have to say "you/they" all the time.

 

Jon

[itsallgrand]

JonBoy,

In your imaginary scenario, I would not consider that cheating.

 

Cheating is done with a knowledge of breaking a vow or commitment that is still active, and not giving the other party full chance to be in on all the details. In your scenario, the wife would be acting with a knowledge or belief that he hubby was dead. thereforeeee, she wouldn't be cheating (as far as I am concerned). The relationship would have ended first by death.

[theantibarbie23]

I've actually been dragged through the JW religion by my mother (who got out of it, thank goodness!) and I know a couple of people who were in the religion who did get divorced... it may not be an every day occurrence, but it does happen.

 

It is my understanding that cheating can get you excommunicated. Also, whomever said that businesses can be split or bought out is right. There are ALWAYS options... they may be a headache but they are there.

 

To stay in a marriage that is dead, is pointless. Adding a new person into the equation would only make things worse.

[Boricua7]

But I agree 99.9% of the time cheating is not acceptable although in my eyes it is bordering it in this case (and I am someone who hates cheating) but it would be brought upon herself by the mother if it does/has happened.

 

So you think it is good enough justification to cheat on someone if "they brought it upon themselves"? Sorry but that doesn't sound right to me.

 

To stay in a marriage that is dead, is pointless. Adding a new person into the equation would only make things worse.

 

I could not have said it better if I tried!

[Shadows Light]

How much does your dad want it??? To be happy? If he is in the situation where his wife is NOT a true partner to him. He can't fix it. She won't fix it.. And he is unhappy.... he does have a choice. Divorce.

 

The financial HIT.. is NOT WORTH thinking about. Its "JUST" money. "STUFF" and money and stuff are transitory. You can't take it with you can you????

 

I'm sure whatever financial fall he sustains.. he can recoup in a few years time.

 

Religion. "HE" can't divorce because of the religion??? didn't you say he wasn't into it but she is??? Well if you dad files for divorce. Your mother will hardly be excommunicated by her church. She'll be fine.

 

No, your dads "affair" can not be justified. Nor can it be rationalized. "WHO" is rationalizing this? Your dad?

 

He can't have his cake and eat it to. He has ONE BUTT.. he can only sit his BUTT on one chair right? Tell your dad to poop or get off the pot. He can't rationalize an affair.

[aggierocker]

I don't know if I should get involved. I'm far away from home in college, but he tells me what goes on. He's on my side.

 

My mom has this crazy hope, hope that the world will end before I graduate college.

 

Jehovah's Witnesses believe the earth will be just a paradise similar looking to the great alps country all for them. Look at the pictures in their books.

 

I told my mom I didn't want to be part of her religion. She stopped talking to me. I was satan to her. I had no choice but to pretend to like this religion.

 

She treats my dad as if he wasn't in the religion.

[Shadows Light]

You shouldn't get involved. This is your parents relationship. Your dad is putting you in a tough spot. A child should "NEVER" be used for emotional support. And that's what is happening hon. He probably doesn't have anyone to talk to and since you are closest to it.... YOU get it.

 

You might suggest to your dad that he seek counseling as a sounding board, since you field of experience is limited and you are too close to the situation. Tell him you will support him in his decisions and always love the both of them. Your dad may be looking for validation from you that he won't lose you if he splits.

 

Your mom... well, I'm sorry to hear that she is using "EMOTIONAL BLACK MAIL" to force you to her religion. Rarely does coersion work to get someone to totally buy into a religion.

 

Since you are away at college. Concentrate on your studies and building YOUR life. Make friends and widen your circle.

[Jonboy582]

I told my mom I didn't want to be part of her religion. She stopped talking to me. I was satan to her. I had no choice but to pretend to like this religion.

Does she not realise that is going to make you less likely to become a religious person as she is forcing you, and all the religion is bringing about is pain and suffering? Have you raised that point with her. But I really do feel sorry for you, it must be soo hard on you and your father.

 

One thing I hope it wont agrivate things, but research the religion and see if you can find anything in their scriptures that says anything about people from outside the religion? see if it mentions anywhere we are all equal no matter what religion you are, or freedom of choice whether to believe. If so, you may wish to confront your mother with this to open her eyes to what she is doing.

[theantibarbie23]

My mom has this crazy hope, hope that the world will end before I graduate college.

 

Jehovah's Witnesses believe the earth will be just a paradise similar looking to the great alps country all for them. Look at the pictures in their books.

I feel for you, I really do. I honestly see the JW thing as more of a cult than a religion. I did a lot of research on it and was slowly able to bring my mom out of it because of some of the creepy stuff I found out that most of their members have no clue about.

 

A lot of JWs are sitting there waiting for the world to end so that they can live happily forever in paradise. As a matter of fact, have you ever seen on TV, people with signs around their necks that read, the end is near or something similar? That was started by JWs. They have predicted the end of all things, quite a few times already. They used to ban together wearing signs just like that and wait in unison for god to come and smite everyone dead. I could tell you a lot of stories. You can find plenty of info in the library or better yet, I'll give you some online links too.

 

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