It just feels so unfair!

[blink_guy]

ok so a few months ago i got caught for smoknig weed...ive only done it three times and stoppped but somehow 2 months later the school found out so i told my parents...this was in febuary or so and i am still groudned!I know what i did was wrong but marijuana is so ramptant and my parents jus dont understand that...and i try talking to them and they wont even give me the courtesy of having a full indivded convresation with me...what can i do?

[NJRon]

That's pretty pathetic. It's stunts like that that turn a little experimentation into a whole lifestyle. I mean, if you are going to get punished like that, what's to keep you from becoming a total pothead...

 

Talk to your school counselor about it. Hopefully, they can arrange to have you all get togetehr in a neutral meeting and actually discuss it. It sounds like your parents have some issues to ground you so hard and not even talk to you.

[Skippy]

you wronged. accept the punishment. it isnt unfair.

take it as a lesson learnt.

Your parents is making it clear to ou that drugs is wrong.

[Lunabelle]

People who discipline their teens like this are only shoving them out the door faster. Your parents sound really out of touch to me.

 

Punishment needs to fit the crime. Am I understanding this, you got 2 months grounding for smoking weed? Stupid, stupid.

 

I'm willing to bet your parents did LOTS of stupid (and possibly unlawful) stuff in their youth.

 

NJRon is right......although personally I'd be a bit nervous about bringing in the whole school counselor.

 

More than likely this is just one of many, many issues they refuse to discuss with you for whatever reasons. It's too bad. They could use this as such a opportunity to ask you about it and how you felt and why you wanted to do it, etc. Instead they stick their head in the sand and no doubt walk around proud for being the disciplinarian.

 

 

Good luck to ya, kid! Keep on posting if you need more help.

[Skippy]

seem like you guys think that smoking weed is ok??

hmm i suppose it is upbinging

[Lunabelle]

Heya Skippy -- I DO NOT think breaking the law is okay. Children and young adults do need appropriate punishment regardless of the situation.

 

Blink Guy -- try to be cool here. You won't win any friends by barking. When you post at a place like this, you will get all kinds of answers from all kinds of people. You might try looking at it as if Skippy is just a handy "representative" of people with similar opinions to your parents.

 

I have 16 years parenting experience but twice that many with drug and alcohol experiences! I guarantee you, I've never, ever found someone who was robbing, stealing and murdering people to be able to smoke pot. Now alcohol, cocaine, meth, heroin, all that stuff? People will do ANYTHING to get more once they are hooked. And you can get hooked very very quickly.

 

Frankly I do not believe the line that marijuana is a "gateway" drug. Whoever came up with that has no experience with drugs, period.

 

Blink, let's face it -- you're probably not going to be able to "re-educate" your parents about it, I doubt they'll ever change their mind. I'm so glad you mentioned your Asian background -- that says loads about your parents! You know they love you and want what's best for you, but they can only do the best they can, and that's what they are doing.

 

I suggest you keep your act together in all ways. You need to reassure them, that you're not going to be some evil drug user or drug pusher.

 

When I was caught smoking the devil weed as a teen, I pointed out that I was a straight-A student, had ambition (college plans), held down a part-time job, I showed them I wasn't on the path to being a heroin addict, I had simply made a mistake in a decision. Young adulthood is when you are supposed to make your mistakes, yes?

 

I think if this is one of many problems you're having, then they may be right in really clamping down on you. But if you are otherwise a together person, perhaps they've gone overboard in their punishment.

 

However, this may be a good time for you to step up and realize, you won't be living at home forever. I know, like most teenagers, you live this double life, of who you are at home versus who you are outside home. But know that this is just a temporary stage in your life right now -- soon, just a few years -- you'll be out on your own. You may consider that since they are supporting you, providing for you, maybe the least you can do is just lie low for a while, get back on their "good side" and be way more careful in the future.

 

I'm not advocating drug use or breaking the law.

 

I am advocating that parents WAKE UP and get real about how pervasive pot is in their kids lives, find out why the kids want to get high (do you even know?) and make it discussion point not a "shut-down" point. In my experience, parents who can't discuss drugs with their kids probably also cannot discuss all the other important stuff either.

 

Having said all that Blink, know that your parents love you like no one else in the world. They would die for you. They would step in front of a train for you. Don't take advantage of that love. Try to love them back in spite of your current feelings.

[itsallgrand]

You're lucky blink. Grounding is no big deal in this situation.

 

My aunt had my cousin arrested for smoking weed. Left him in jail for the night. He never did it again.

 

[Lunabelle]

He never did it again.

hmmm....not as far as anyone knows, anyway

[blink_guy]

well the thing is ive only done it 3 times in january and then i said "this is the last time im going to do it" and it was then in march someone ratted us out for w/e reason...an now its aprill so thats also another reason why im so upset about it

[Lunabelle]

w/e reason

what does this mean?

[blink_guy]

what ever reason... liek the guy ratted us out for his own reasons....if i found out who ever did it i would go cave his face in but the thing is i dont know who it is

[Skippy]

blink guy.

i accept your little t antrum. You posted a msg on this board for an option and you got it. I agrred with your parents and you didnt like it. (too damn bad) . Like it or not statistics show that any form of "light" drugs usually pave the way to experiementation of heavier drugs and possible addiction.

And yes i am glad to say that i am one of those guys that have no friends that are taking drugs to sort out our problems or to just to run away. I choose my friends based on their positive outlook on life and not losers that take drugs.

You screwed up, you know your family rules. Accept the punishment like an adult and not whine about it being unfair. You wronged under your faily rules. STOP acting like a kid.

 

And yes i screwed up in my life but the differene is this.... i admited it and i faced the punishent because i knew what the punishment was before it did it. I choose to take the risk and when i was caught i was ready to face it. I didnt whine and i didt blam someone else.

The person that ratted you out is not the problem here. It is yourself. You just dont want to addmitted that you screwed up

[blink_guy]

you * * * * i put in my post that i know what i did was wrong...and act liek an adult?buddy im 14 and ppl that do drugs dont mean there losers, there just above the popularity level that you would have ever went...and you didnt chose your friends dotn even say you did cause people dont go liek "hmm that guy looks good i think im guna go make friends with him," if people can just do that then everyone in the world would be friends....and im nto saying i shouldnt get pusnished im sayiong that this is to severe and since my schools drug counselor thinks the same your not goiung to say that your the only one thats right

[Diggitydave]

When i was growing up if I got caught smoking pot, i wouldn't have a computer to post about how unfair it is.

 

Let me share a story with you my friend. A close friend of mine growing up started "smoking pot". It turned into hangin out with the wrong crowd, drinking, doing acid, cocaine, sex with whoever, losing job after job after job, a DUI at 18, two pregnant girlfriends both aborted (so in a sense) two lives lost.

 

 

The guy has just finished paying off the fines of his "just not fair" life. He is 28 and still has no license, in between jobs, etc.

 

 

Be thankful your parents grounded you. Don't touch the stuff, it's wrong, it's not "unfair". Let the kids in school run their lives the way they want, you are in charge of your own.

 

I am blown away by this story. The way things are today. I am so glad my parents were strict with me and you will thank your parents one day too. THe kids in your school, you will one day forget about, you will one day be knee deep in real life issues like debt, kids, marriage, full time job, religion, health, etc. Smoking pot with your buddies is peanuts.

 

Forget about it and move on.

[Diggitydave]

you * * * * i put in my post that i know what i did was wrong...and act liek an adult?buddy im 14 and ppl that do drugs dont mean there losers, there just above the popularity level that you would have ever went...and you didnt chose your friends dotn even say you did cause people dont go liek "hmm that guy looks good i think im guna go make friends with him," if people can just do that then everyone in the world would be friends....and im nto saying i shouldnt get pusnished im sayiong that this is to severe and since my schools drug counselor thinks the same your not goiung to say that your the only one thats right

 

 

i really hope i helped