Wow, I've learned a lesson

[venus777]

So, I've learned I must always trust my own instincts. If something doesn't feel right it probably isn't.

 

Also, I don't think I should focus so much on the past as being a reason for my insecurity, but just being a basis for my knowledge of reality and my instincts. I don't think I should blame myself nearly as much as I do.

 

I've also realized from this escapade how difficult taking advice from people can be on here because one can't be sure about how clearly they are communicating with others their views, or where people are coming from. It makes this website a difficult tool for me, but at the very least a place to vent. It has been useful to a certain extent, it kept me from being played completely by someone, but I think that people respond to key words on here, depending on what mood I'm in and how I express myself but often the situation is way more complicated than people think. I don't know if that makes sense to yall.

[Spawn]

but I think that people respond to key words on here, depending on what mood I'm in and how I express myself but often the situation is way more complicated than people think.

 

right, even i believe so but i think advices are good if they come from a neutral point of view. As long as the decision is concerned we are the ones who know how much we must act upon the advices. Only we know what is right or wrong for us.

 

My emotions used to take over my instincts but i have also realized that we should trust our instincts.

[PocoDiablo]

The Internet is a horrible medium for giving advice but ... such is life. Maybe it's better than nothing. Maybe not.

[StephMarie]

Trusting your instinct is probably the best thing anyone can ever do

[tylercdurden2004]

The Internet is a horrible medium for giving advice but ... such is life. Maybe it's better than nothing. Maybe not.

Yup but for some I guess it is better than nothing.

[venus777]

yeah so the guy i was writing about... my friends warned me that something was up with him that he has a bad rep, confronted him, then he said he was wanting to beat them up and started talking about how he is going to unleash the * * * * * on me and all that.

[Scout]

I've also realized from this escapade how difficult taking advice from people can be on here because one can't be sure about how clearly they are communicating with others their views, or where people are coming from. It makes this website a difficult tool for me, but at the very least a place to vent. It has been useful to a certain extent, it kept me from being played completely by someone, but I think that people respond to key words on here, depending on what mood I'm in and how I express myself but often the situation is way more complicated than people think. I don't know if that makes sense to yall.

 

No, this doesn't make complete sense to me, although I certainly have noticed you have difficulty sometimes taking advice on here that is given to you. You may not want to hear this, but what I've noticed is that you'll post about a guy you're unsure about, and when other posters confirm there is indeed something to be suspicious about, you immediately defend the guy and refute every point the poster just gave you.

 

To be honest, it can be rather frustrating responding to your posts. I hate to "give up" and avoid certain posters, especially when I see they are really hurting. But it can also be weary taking the time to post on someone's thread, only to realize they aren't really looking for advice, but instead, validation/approval of their actions.

 

It makes this website a difficult tool for me, but at the very least a place to vent.

 

I personally would suggest a blog as a better tool for venting, especially if you are rather sensitive to certain kinds of advice and feedback. I'm not saying eNotalone isn't also a great place to vent, it is...but it's primary purpose is to be an advice forum. And I've noticed you react very defensively to quite a bit of the advice you're given.

[venus777]

yeah you're right, i make exuses for people. it's not that i don't agree with what people are saying necessarily but i also know that the way i write about the situation affects the advice given. for example, if i was to say, my boyfriend gets mad at me when I get home late, I don't know what to do, people could say well, talk to him about it and have a discussion about all that, but THEN if I was to say that he calls me a * * * * then you might say something different. anotherwards, I doubt MYSELF, not the posters that respond to me. I just don't know what the truth is.

 

In the past I was in an abusive relationship and I wrote on here I think under a different name and I was given all sorts of advice on how to "talk" about it, when really what I needed was to leave the relationship. Anotherwards, I'm just really aware that how I personally see things colors the way I write. I don't trust myself at all. One moment I think, oh that guy is a jerk, the next I think, I am asking for too much too soon. That is the way I make a fool out of myself, or at least feel like one. I doubt my personal intuition, second guess myself, triple guess myself, quadruple guess myself and thus as a result anyone that responds to me. I'm just super confused that's all. And generally, yes, I blame myself. For everything. And I attract guys that blame me too, so it doesn't help anything at all.

[tylercdurden2004]

And now you are feeling sorry for yourself. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and make the changes you need to make so you are getting your head clear.

[Scout]

Well, Venus....you took my take on this more easily than I thought you would. So, I'm not givin' up on you and will continue to post on your threads! Can't promise my feedback will always be easy to hear...but I can assure you my motive is to help, not to tear you down. I actually see a bit of myself in you when I was your age, and just want to help you avoid some of the pain I went through, if possible.

[Spugly Fuglet]

Always aways trust your instincts they have saved my life more than once