These dreams are killing me!!! :(

[coldheart]

Well, while with my ex girlfriend, I used to have many dreams that would actually consist of either her cheating on me, or her drawing away from me in one sense or the other. I guess that was my biggest fear so it would linger in the back of y mind only to be dreamt of at night. It was soothing to have her rubbing my back the next day telling me "baby you know for a fact that would never happen!". The problem now is that I am having dreams in reverse order... Now I have dreams of her and I meeting up for a chat in person, me telling her everything I've suffered and how I want her back (the opposite of what I would do and doing in real life) and things just ending up in her rejecting me all over again. I hurts to have to wake up alone from these horrible dreams.

 

The hardest part after waking up from these dreams is knowing that not only we are no longer together, but she moved on at light speed and began dating right away, while I was still hurt. No attempt from her part to contact me in any sense except for dry distanced e-mails about petty little belongings, etc. She was everything to me... I know that it will take me allot less time to realize "what I've lost" than most other people. They just don't make them like her anymore... Sigh...

 

-CH

[kellbell]

Hi there,

 

I am sorry to hear about your break-up. Dreams have a funny way of messing with our minds sometimes. But I believe dreams are a result of the brain trying to sort out day-to-day things. Also, I believe dreams are a type of release. Meanwhile, dreams can stem from our subconscious trying to tell us something.

"I used to have many dreams that would actually consist of either her cheating on me, or her drawing away from me in one sense or the other."

 

I have had dreams like this before and I thought it was because there was so much unrest in my relationship, trust issues and much anxiety. I wonder if my ex and I communicated more...would I have had these dreams. But the fact in real life your ex moved on so quickly after your break-up goes along with your dreams. You subconscious was trying to tell you something.

 

"The problem now is that I am having dreams in reverse order... Now I have dreams of her and I meeting up for a chat in person, me telling her everything I've suffered and how I want her back (the opposite of what I would do and doing in real life) and things just ending up in her rejecting me all over again."

 

This can be due to lack of closure. Did your relationship with your ex end abruptly or are there a lot of unanswered questions? These dreams can be coming from that. It might be a good idea to keep a journal of your dreams. For example, after wake up from one of them, jot down a few details about them.

[SLMitchell918]

I've been in your shoes. Twice. I think it has something to do with lack of closure and you missing the way things use to be.

 

If your ex moved on so quickly, that could tricker a lot of feelings of cheating which are reflected in your dreams.

 

The only thing that will make these dreams go away is time. When my ex husband divorced me I had dreams like that every night and would wake up crying. It was like - in my dreams, everything was perfect and I was happy again. Then I would wake up and see that it was all a dream.

 

I'm sorry, but just give it some time. Time heals all wounds eventually.

[heavensent]

Ugh, I hate dreams of being cheated on. I used to have anxiety about my husband cheating so bad that when I had dreams like this I would wake up in tears and be sooo hurt as if it really happened. It was absolutely horrible. I have seen doctors about this now and have been a lot better though. But, they just make your stomach knot because you feel pain that you might feel if they actually did cheat. Sometimes these dreams are so realistic too. As for the other dreams..I agree with the others, you might still need some closure. I know you don't want to let go but you can't hold onto something that doesn't want to be held on to and from the sound of it, she wants to be set free. If you love her, you need to set her free. (Its harder then it sounds, I know)