Project Idea: Need some advice!

[Orlander]

Hello all,

 

This saturday is a day that I have not been looking forward to. It's the day my ex and I agreed upon several months ago, would be the day we would get together for our "get back together" dinner date.

 

In November of last year I decided I had enough of the drama my ex was putting me through. She broke up with me in August after a 4 year relationship over religious issues (she discovered Christ overnight) but she always maintained that there was hope for us in the future as a couple and refused to give up on our friendship.

 

I decided that NC was the way to go (partly from suggestions on this forum) but kept hope alive. I scheduled a date between the two of us for April 8th. We would both have several months to think about us andwhat we wanted. If we each decided to be together, then we would show for the dinner this saturday. She agreed and we were both very pleased.

 

Things changed since that agreement. She could not keep NC and finally decided in mid February that she needed NC and that if we ever saw each other again it would be "just one of those things that happens naturally".

 

So, I am assuming she is not even thinking about this saturday. It has been almost 2 months since we last emailed and she has not even tried to contact me save one attempt (that I ignored). I am still thinking about the 8th though and it is going to be a tough day.

 

 

That is where I need some help. I am trying to think of a project I can do that day. Something I can complete and have to show for my efforts. Something I can have that I can look at in the future as a sense of accomplishment. Something that can bring me strength and that can help me keep from being weak and going to the restaurant saturday evening.

 

Any advice is welcome. I know we have some really great people on this forum and coming up with a good idea won't be too hard.

 

 

Orlander

[WildChild]

OK, throwing suggestions off the top of my head:

 

*Start writing. Write a book starting that day of your "new" life.

*Paint, build, construct

*Travel/Drive for hours until you find a place you want to reflect, relax or find interesting

*Stay at a hotel that day and evening away from everything

*Fly a kite, jog, bike ride, swim

*Go to Disney Land

*Try something you have always wanted to do

*Finish something you have always meant to finish

*Gather your friends, and have a cookout

 

 

It's been kind of a goofy last few months for you, hasn't it. When you first posted about this date, I wondered what would be the outcome of April 8. You've done good Orlando

[robowarrior]

You don't have to do any dumb project for her sake, please quit those absurd idea's.

 

Rather if she comes to you say to her, Jesus brings people together, not separates them. I am hurt that you left me over your religion, whatever made you think , that i would not give you the room to explore your religion? Why would that have to be me who gets rejected like that? someone who is supposed to support you as a bf,and gets rejected, and you have absolutely no knowledge how much you hurted me with that.

 

If you HAVE to go, then i think you should discuss your feelings with her, and try to draw a line beyond all of this. This is the last time you see her, it wil either end up in a 'its all over from now on' or in a continue of the relationship in some sort.

[Ash]

Umm, robowarrior, I'm not quite sure if you caught the gist of what Orlando was saying. He does not want to go to the restaurant as he does not want to get back together, and hence if trying to find a way to stick firm to that decision.

 

Orlando, since you have determined what you would like your course of action to be for that day I would certainly suggest you partake in a group activity. WildChild has suggested a cookout and I think that's a great idea. If not that, then certainly a short distance trip with some friends for dinner and a movie, or perhaps going to some tourist attraction in your area (again with friends!) where you haven't been before, or haven't been to for a while. I don't think this is a time to be on your own, you need the distraction of friends to lessen the pains of it all. If it's not possible to be with friends then so something nice for yourself. (And again, WildChild has said most of this) Do that hobby project that you've been putting off. Buy the new gadget you've had your eye on and weren't sure whether you should get yet. Rent a nice car and drive somewhere (or rent something else you might consider indulgent). Again, distraction is the key.

 

As for shorter term projects with a sense of completion (and I'm not sure where your interest's lie) hobby shops offer a variety of things such as plastic model kits of planes, cars etc, model rockets (actually a really cool hobby for older folks who aren't going to burn their fingers off!!), model trains. They have various other things you can build as well. Other than that, your local lumber store may have some kits for things you can make out of wood, making your own toolbox can be rewarding for example. The craft store too may have things that interest you.

[arwen]

Do you have some furniture that is looking old? I painted a lot of my old furniture when I was moving to another town, it was to kill time when I was very much in anticipation of my new job, and I had to wait for the actual 'moving'.

 

Now they are all white and gorgeous, all my old stuff that I got from different people (I am kinda broke). It was great to do, and I still see the result of it every day, so I think that would be an option.

 

You can also open a thread on Saturday here, lol, and we'll keep you from going over there. Not sure about the satisfaction you will get from that, but at least you will look back, and say 'hey, I didn't go'.

 

Or: go to Ikea! I have spent too many days there the last months, but hey! I 'built' my new book-thing! And my new bed!

 

Ilse

[NJRon]

You could see how big of a stack you can build out of beer cans before you pass out. But yeah, I like the cookout idea. If you have to do something alone, I would pick an interesting spot on the map and just drive out to it and take pictures. It can be any spot. Stay on the back roads, pack yourself some food and drink, maybe sleep in your car at a campground (only about $7-$12 for the night, depending on where you are). You'll always have the pictures.

[robowarrior]

Ash i said 'If you HAVE to go' ,so i was picturing the situation of which he has to go like if he doesn't have any choice. But if a choice is given, of course i wouldn't go. But thread poster made it look asif he made a promise that he didn't want to break.

[PocoDiablo]

Dude, drive over to my place. We'll go out and shoot pool all night and have some drinks.

 

Okay, maybe do that with some out of town friends you know?

[Orlander]

Thank you all very much for the advice. Unfortunately, I really don't have any close friends, so a cookout will be out of the question. Does really sounds like a good idea though.

 

Money is a little tight at the moment, so I am limited in what I can do and where I can go. I would love to go spend an evening someplace away from the city. Painting sounds like a good idea. Just not sure I really have anything that I could paint.

 

The restaurant where we were supposed to have dinner is located out of town. I guess I need to go in the opposite direction if I were to take a trip out of town. Otherwise I know I would probably end up at the restaurant.

 

I'm not really trying to resist the urge to go. I really don't want to. I know she won't be there, or rather, I have absolute faith that she won't be there. I just need something to take my mind off where I had hoped for so long we would be right now. It's amazing how life and people can change so much and in so little time.

 

Anyway, still looking for some more good opinions on what to do. Thanks again to all of you.

 

 

Orlander

[NJRon]

Ok... here's an idea... go check out this place and bring your camera,a journal and make sure you dress in pants and a long sleeved shirt. (Call ahead to make sure they are open to visitors)

 

link removed

 

Then, take your car to a place from this page... bring a light, a blanket, some shorts and some food and drink (along with your camera) and some small change.

 

link removed

 

Most of all, get ready for relaxation, reflection and regeneration.

 

After you do this, you will have plenty of idea on what to paint and some photos to remember everything by.

[stolenshadow]

The ideal would be going out I guess but I think a nice option can be just staying at home, switching everything off and reading one or several books, that's known to be a distraction with many advantages.

 

You can also try doing something like a small piece of furniture, decorative item or meal for another person, that way you are busy with mind and body in something for a very specific friend or family member.

 

Or you can just clean a place like a closet or room, get everything out, throw away old stuff, etc. it can keep you busy and it serves a purpose.

[gratefulpain]

volunteer that day

giving to others takes the focus off yourself

 

go camp for a night. by my house campsite is like 10 bucks.. build a fire sip wine reflect.. leave cell phone at home...

 

do speed dating.. thats always cool....

 

as mentioned above... go buy a crappy piece of furniture from Goodwil etc...... remove all the old finish in the morning... sand and smooth for the middle of the day... apply stain/finish end of day... result will be somehting tangible you can set your coffee on... plus be really nice

 

I dont suggest drinking too much..

[WildChild]

Or I could hitchhike to FL and you could give me a tour of the parts of FL I have yet to see. I hear crocodile hunting is quite the craze

[Orlander]

Unfortunately, I can't make it out to Tallahassee this weekend, though that does sound like an excellent idea. Gratefulpain, that's a great idea about getting something cheap at Goodwill and painting it. I just might do that or go to a potterybarn or hobby store. I'll make up my mind tonight.

 

Funny story WildChild;I was out running in my neighborhood a few months ago and almost tripped over a 5 foot gator who decided to come out for some night air. Luckily, I saw it right as I was about to step on it.

 

I don't think I'm ready to date anyone, and I haven't been pursuing anyone or doing anything where I might meet anyone. I had a date last night with a woman but decided to cancel it. I just am not ready...especially for speed dating which sounds like the scariest thing I have ever heard.

 

 

Thanks for all the ideas. I'll let you all know what my day tomorrow has in store for me. Wish me luck!!!

 

 

Orlander

[WildChild]

God, I don't know which is worse for me the anticipation of the infamous April 8, or wondering what you will choose to do LOL Whatever you decide, we are all with you in spirit

 

PS:

[WildChild]

PS: Scary!!!! about the gator I may have to reconsider my decision on thumbing it down there LOL

[Orlander]

Hi all,

 

So, the 8th of April has come and gone and I am glad it has. As luck would have it, no more than an hour after my last post here on this thread, I got an invitation for saturday night to go out to Universal Studios Mardi Gras. I thought the invitation over and decided to go.

 

I'm not a big fan of coincidences...someone was telling me this is what I should be doing. I knew I had to go. So, I did. It was with a girl I didn't really know, but I ended up having a really good time...too much of a good time to really think about my ex and how she may or may not be waiting for me at our restaurant.

 

I got many beads (and I didnt even have to show my breasts and a couple of great souvenirs to help remind me of the night. There were a lot of seemingly happy families and couples around, but I made up my mind and was determined to have a geniune good time. I did! I even went on one of the best rides I ever went on (The Mummy Returns).

 

No, the ex did not try to contact me. I received no email, letter, call, or IM. Nothing! I'm a little surprised, but as long as I keep her in my heart, I will keep getting surprised by her not contacting me.

 

Thanks everyone for your advice. I'm glad the evening worked out to my advantage. Now, I have a great memory to look back on to remember April 8th instead of seeing it as "The day of the date that never happened!"

 

 

 

Orlander

[NJRon]

rock on!

 

..............................

[Spawn]

great to hear from ya Orlander.........

 

got any pics

[WildChild]

So glad to hear you had fun