Why is he saying these things?

[Meeky]

I have posted many times before, and find so much comfort here. My b/f and I broke up two weeks ago. I still love him VERY much, and wish we could be together. He says he loves me too, but finds it very difficult to be open and honest with me. I need that in a relationship. He says he can't change. So, I said if you can't change, we don't have a future.

 

We have had many upset phone calls (am trying to sort out our flat, belongings etc so had contact last week), and I was hysterical on Monday and even went to see him. Although it felt good at the time, I realised I was living in hope for him to turn around and say he can't live with out me and that he WILL change. I want this. But of course, you can't make someone change, he has to want to.

 

So, I decided to write him an email, tell him that we need to move on, and the only way to do that is to cut off contact. I have tried to finish off all the flat stuff, and told him that if he has something different to say, he knows where to find me. But for now, I hoped he would have a good life.

 

For some reason, his idea of no contact is to send me texts. He sent me one yesterday, saying he got my email, that he is at a loss for words. That this hurts like crazy. That he misses me. And that this sucks.

 

I was slightly annoyed that he contacted me even though I said dont, but of course part of me was HAPPY to hear from him. Then I get another one last night, saying that he misses me, misses cuddling me, and that he is upset.

 

WHY IS HE DOING THIS? Why is he torturing me by telling me how much he misses me and how upset he is? HE is the one who can do something about it????? Does he not realise he is hurting me everytime and stopping me from moving on?????

 

Or is he just being selfish, thinking of himself??????

[DN]

I have read your previous posts but I am not clear what it is you wanted from him in terms of being open and honest - what was he not being open and honest about? And why does he say he can't change?

[Hope75]

If I recall, Meeky, this is the guy who has cheated on you and lied in the past, correct?

 

 

 

Ah yes, here it is. and this one:

 

 

Honey, after reading up on your threads from before, I don't think I would even GIVE thsi guy a chance to say he's willing to change, which he basically told you he isn't.

 

To me, that says volumes about where you stand on his list of priorities and how much he values you.

 

I'm sorry if this sounds harsh- but cut him out of your life. No one needs people like that in their life.

[Bethany]

Does he not realise he is hurting me everytime and stopping me from moving on?????

 

Or is he just being selfish, thinking of himself??????

 

Yes and Yes.

[lonely days]

If he can't give you what you want then you did ythe right thing by letting him go. If you think it's best for him not to contact you, please do not reply and he will get the hint real quick