Am I an alcoholic?

[Karibo]

This morning I woke up in my bed without remembering how the hell i got there and my room was a complete state with books and DVDS all over the place and my bed was damp and there was my cup on it's side on the floor. That is so scary waking up and not knowing what happened, and this is not the first time it's happened either.

 

I don't drink during the week at all it's always when we go for a night out on the town on a saturday. My problem is I never know when to stop and one minute I will be feeling fine, then next thing i know I wake up and wonder what the Hell happened. Luckily so far my friends have always been there to look out for me. But i'm scared - I mean it's so dangerous, anything could happen to me or I could put someone else in danger.

 

The thing is, all my friends drink quite heavily too and they get like this at times. I tried to cut down alot and recently i have, it's just last night I was drinking the same amount as my friend and i guess i couldn't keep up because she wasn't even that drunk, but apparently i could hardly walk. The thought of giving up alcohol scares me because I don't know if I could do it.

 

I hate waking up with that dreaded feeling, not even knowing what i've done or said to people.

 

I think the best thing to do is just go cold turkey.

[TheLegend]

The thought of giving up alcohol scares me because I don't know if I could do it.

Everything was fine until I read that. If you feel that way, then that means you are addicted. Maybe you should try to cut it off for like a month or two just to see if you can and to make sure you're not addicted.. Because otherwise it might be dangerous.

[MewSkitty]

Going cold turkey is very hard to do. Though I never have and never will drink, I have had addictions to things in the past and going cold turkey will only drive you crazy. The best thing to do is decrease the amount of the stuff you're addicted to and try different things to keep your mind off of it.

[newlydumped]

Hi there-

 

I have to say that I see a lot of what I used to be in your post. Not knowing your limits when you begin drinking is a HUGE problem. I used to do the same thing. I didn't drink during the weekend but when I would go out on the weekend, more often than not, I would wake up the next morning with little to no recollection of the night before. It was almost never intentional. I would go out, intending to have a couple drinks, and end up totally smashed. Part of it was an always varying tolerance, much of it was my inability to recognize how drunk I actually was and then continuing to drink. My friends would try to tell me, and I would just brush them off...after all, I am in my 20s, and everyone around me was drinking, too.

 

Then about a year ago, I met this guy that I absolutely adored. The drinking was a problem almost from the start. But for the first seven months, I was able to get him to let it go each time it happened. But then, it got to be too much. And this guy broke up with me. And I stopped drinking cold turkey. It didn't bring him back, and probably never will. However, I feel like it has brought ME back. And I like myself so much more now that I am sober.

 

I am not going to tell you that it was/is easy. It is hard, especially since I still go out with my friends, and generally end up explaining at least once that I do not drink by choice. But it is so worth it. I never wake up hung over, I don't forget events of the evening before. My pocketbook is not nearly as empty. My friends like being with me. And I don't have to worry that I will do something stupid like wrap my car around a tree or get sexual with someone that I shouldn't. And I don't have to worry about ever losing another friendship (and drinking did cost me a few, even before the ex) or another relationship to drinking. Trust me, alcohol is not worth it.

 

Good luck with whatever choice you make, and feel free to PM me if you want to ask me anything.

[robowarrior]

Enjoy but drink with measure.

 

Everything that has TOO for it, is damaging.

[byates5637]

Hey, i'm in a similar situation. I get wasted usually 2 nights a week. I can always remember the general outline of what i did the night before, but sometimes i forget the finer details such as conversations i had with people.

 

I wouldn't call either of us alcoholics. To be an alcoholic is to get drunk every day. Alcoholics drink in the morning, afternoon, and night. What we are is better described as "problem drinkers." We drink to much and we know it, but we still have some self control over ourselves. Of course after years of being a "problem drinker", if you never learn self control, that is when you start to become an alcoholic. SO don't ever let it get to that point.

 

It may be better to try and cut down your alcohol intake then to try and quit all together. I have been able to cut down how much i drink with some success. I used to think it was fun to get a bottle of whiskey on a friday night, invite all my friends over, and drink half the bottle by myself. I'm done with that now (except on a very rare occasion). Now i usually limit myself to only having 6 or so beers when i go out.

 

Here are some suggestions to help cut down.

 

Stay sober during the week like you have been, don't drink during the week.

 

Start drinking a light beer, or anything that has a low alcohol %. This way you can drink more without getting so drunk.

 

When your going out to the bar, if you plan on staying there all night, then don't go to early. For example, if your friends usually stay out till 2AM, then don't even go to the bar until midnight.

 

During the week try to make plans for the weekend that don't involve drinking.

 

 

good luck

-brandon

[annie24]

I have to disagree with this post. You can be an alcoholic and only have one drink a month. I have, unfortunately, dated several alcoholics recently, both active and recovering.

 

One alcoholic I dated never drank in the mornings, but he'd get home every night and get smashed into oblivion.

 

It's pretty hard to tell the difference between alcohol abuse and alcoholism. But, if you can't remember what you've been doing and are blacking out, that is AT LEAST an alcohol abuse problem.

 

Another thing that alcoholics do is make "rules" about their drinking. ie, no drinking on certain days, or not at certain times of the day. If you are making rules about your drinking, then it sounds like there is a problem. It was one of the things I learned in a specialized class about the liver I took.

 

I think you should consider talking to a counselor about your drinking. Both of you!!!

[DN]

Any time someone needs alcohol on a regular basis there is serious cause for concern, the gap between feeling the need is irrelevant.

 

One definition of an alcoholic is some one who needs and/or is dependent on alcohol.

 

I think you would be advised to seek help - AA may be a place to start or at least your doctor.

[byates5637]

You can be an alcoholic and only have one drink a month?

 

Do i have a violence problem because i got into a fight in highschool?

 

Am i a sex addict because i like to have sex a few times a week?

 

Do i have a personality disorder because i get into bad moods once in a while?

 

Do i have a caffiene abuse problem because some morning i get a cup of coffee?

 

You have to draw the line somewhere. I have seen how bad alcoholism can get first hand, and i know there is a big difference between that and the way i am. Drinking is fun as long as you know when to quit. Just keep your head up, respect yourself, and know your limits. If your problem keeps getting worse even when you try to limit yourself, then go cold turkey. And if you can't do it on your own, then try AA.

 

So if i drank all the time and didn't make rules about when not to drink, then i wouldn't be an alcoholic? seems like it would make more sense the other way around.

 

By the way - i just got home from the bar. I was playing poker there. I was drinking iced tea. I didn't even think about getting a beer. When i was 21 there was no way i would ever go to the bar and not get a beer. I think alot of it has to do with growing up. I don't know how old you are karibo, but if you just recently came of age, alot of people indulge at that time, but then start to get over it when they get older. It's those nights when you get slammed and wake up not knowing what happened that will teach you. most people can only have so many of those bad experience until they realize it is just not worth it.

[TheLegend]

yes, you can drink once a month and still be an alcoholic. Being an alcoholic is not how much you drink, but, everything that becomes an habit is an addiction. Like Annie24 said, if it's becomes a habit that you drink once/twice or (insert number here) a month, then it is considered as alcohol abuse, or addiction.

[byates5637]

So by your definition we are all addicted to eating food, drinkin water, going to the bathroom, going on to enotalone, etc...

 

And if these things are all addictions then we draw the conclusion that addictions are not inherently bad. This really diminishes the meaning of addiction.

 

An addiction is a very powerful thing and should not be taken lightly. I don't think people should just be throwing the word around for any little thing. But i guess that is the problem with the world (especially USA) nowadays. So quick to label everything with a word or diagnosis.

 

I was a heavy smoker. 1.5 packs a day. I am on day 6 of cold turkey. It is sooo hard. This is an addiction. Not drinking once a month.

[TheLegend]

"In all cases, the term addiction describes a chronic pattern of behaviour that continues despite the direct or indirect adverse consequences that result from engaging in the behavior. It is quite common for an addict to express the desire to stop the behaviour, but find himself or herself unable to cease."

 

Source Wikipedia

 

Don't mix needs with addictions, you have needs, without them you can't live.

 

Out of all the things you said, the only one that could be considered an addiction would be "going on enotalone" because it's not a basic need to survive.

[DN]

Have a look at what the Mayo Clinic has to say:

 

link removed

[byates5637]

"In all cases, the term addiction describes a chronic pattern of behaviour that continues despite the direct or indirect adverse consequences that result from engaging in the behavior. It is quite common for an addict to express the desire to stop the behaviour, but find himself or herself unable to cease."

 

Source Wikipedia

 

Do you know why AA has had so much sucess? Because it is based on addicts helping addicts. They have been there before and know what it is like. When a non-addict tries to talk to an addict about there problem they often end up lecturing about something they read in a text book but really they know nothing about it.

 

But if you really want to argue textbook technicalities with me then we could debate the implied meaning of the word "chronic." Does once a month mean chronic? how about once ever 2 months? or twice a year?

 

Also, couldn't playing football fit your definition? Some people like to play it alot, but they hurt themselves sometimes when they play. They continue to play afterwords. Sounds like a "chronic pattern of behaviour that continues despite the direct or indirect adverse consequences that result from engaging in the behavior"

 

 

DN- thanks for the good reference, I found two paragraphs on that site that really back up my original advice to karibo

 

 

"It's possible to have a problem with alcohol, but not display all the characteristics of alcoholism. This is known as "alcohol abuse," which means you engage in excessive drinking that results in health or social problems, but you aren't dependent on alcohol and haven't fully lost control over the use of alcohol."

 

"The first step in treatment is to determine whether you're alcohol dependent. If you haven't lost control over your use of alcohol, your treatment may involve reducing your drinking."

[Tigris]

You're a 'Binge Drinker'!

 

These people don't usually drink every day but when they do they can't stop!

 

The first thing you need to do is drink at your own pace and don't keep up with your friends. Don't drink wine, shorts, or cocktails. Buy something that's going to take you a long time to drink, e.g. cider, lager, beer, etc. The fizz in these drinks should fill you up.

 

Make sure you have a lot to eat before you go out so it soaks up the alcohol!

 

Only take a limited amount of money out with you. No money means no drinks!

 

Try going out later at night so you have less time to drink.

 

 

Don't forget the more alcohol you drink the more it affects your memory and you can end up doing irreparable damage!

 

DON'T GO COLD TURKEY!!!!

 

Good luck and take care.

[annie24]

I think you know well that playing football and drinking can't really be compared. drinking affects your body chemistry and your brain. Having fun while playing football can't really be compared to drinking.

 

unless you are playing football so often that you are not going to your job, forgetting to pick your kids up from school, and keep falling unconscious because you are constantly playing without a helmet and keep blacking out, then yes, it sounds like there's a problem.

 

And yes, making rules means that you have some sort of issues about drinking. Think about it - who would make a rule like, "I don't eat chocolate cookies unless it's tuesday." A person who has an eating problem of one kind of another. A normal person eats them in moderation or for special occasions. Same goes for drinking.

[byates5637]

Yes i know there is a clear difference from playing football and alcoholism, i was just trying to make a point that everything can't always be organized into neat catagories based on a textbook definition.

 

I make rules that i dont drink unless it is the weekend to prevent myself from having an alcohol problem. I have already admited that i drink a little too much sometimes, but it has never had any significantly negative effects on my life because i make rules about when i can and can't do it.

 

I just think you all are going a little overboard with preaching about the evils of alcohol and telling us what addiction is even though you never experienced it first hand...

Do you really think telling this girl that her and all her friends are alcoholics is going to be of any help to her? no, it is not. Giving her some suggestions about how to prevent herself from over-indulging is what is going to help her.

 

Tigris- i like your advice. you seem to have a more down-to-earth view of drinking then some.

[Dako]

This sounds more like good old stupid binge drinking.

Not a smart thing to do.

I've had some nasty habits, and in each case I couldn't go a few days without the drug. To me, that's a a sign of a problem.

If you can go a week without getting drunk, you're not hooked. If you start jonesing after a day, get some help.

[annie24]

I just think you all are going a little overboard with preaching about the evils of alcohol and telling us what addiction is even though you never experienced it first hand...

Do you really think telling this girl that her and all her friends are alcoholics is going to be of any help to her? no, it is not. Giving her some suggestions about how to prevent herself from over-indulging is what is going to help her.

 

The last few guys I've dated have had drinking problems, so yes, i've seen it first hand. it is really hard to watch.

 

Not remembering what you did the night before is definitely indicative of a problem.

[Empathy]

What Annie meant when she said that you can be an alcoholic and only have one drink a month, etc...is that once you're an alcoholic you're always an alcoholic. You can abstain from alcohol completely and still be an alcoholic. Take it from me, an alcoholic. I've been in treatment 3 times for it already and I'm still battling this stuff. And what I've learned from treatment and AA is that once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic. It's a disease. When you quit drinking you're still an alcoholic, the disease has just gone into remission. And if you're an alcoholic who doesn't drink but doesn't attend a support group like AA or isn't actively seeking assistance with your problem you're what's called a "dry drunk."

[Empathy]

Not remembering what you did the night before is definitely indicative of a problem.

 

This is also true. If you can't control your drinking...If you go into a bar with the intention of having only one beer yet you end up needing to call a taxi by the time the night is over...you're considered an alcoholic. Even if this happens only once a month. As annie said, it's very indicative of a problem.

[Karibo]

Ah man i just feel so guilty about it all

[novaseeker]

Definitions are often a problem when it comes to problem drinking. A lot of energy is spent trying to convince people they are "alcoholic" because of x,y and z factors, but in reality I think too much emphasis is placed on that word "alcoholic". Whether you're an alcoholic or not may be an interesting topic to debate on a message board, but it's really well beside the point.

 

If your drinking is problematic, then you have a problem, regardless of what you want to call it. Your drinking is problematic if you feel pulled towards it, if you can't go without it for extended periods (like say, a month), if it causes problems in your life (relationship, financial, health) and you keep drinking, etc. There are many, many, many people who have drinking problems who are not technically "physicaly addicted" to alcohol in the sense that if they stopped they would go through physical withdrawal symptoms like delerium tremens and the like ... but that doesn't mean they don't have serious drinking problems, and that they could become physically addicted at some stage if they keep walking down the same road.

 

Alcohol is a funny drug like that ... it generates psychological dependency much more quickly than true physical dependency. But there's no need to wait until you are physically dependent to decide you have a problem. If drinking is causing problems in your life (including causing you, yourself, to worry about your own drinking), then it's clearly a problem for you, and it's time to put down the bottle.

 

With alcohol, almost all of the advice is that the only real way to stop being a problem drinker is to stop completely. Once someone has crossed the line to being a problem drinker, it's very, very hard to cross back. For whatever reason, some people's brains are more susceptible to becoming psychologically attracted to and dependent on alcohol, and these folks really can't drink "normally" like other people can ... their brains constantly want more and more of the drug, whereas other people really don't react that way mentally to the drug. If you have a drinking problem (which it sounds like you do), you probably have one of those brains that likes alcohol a bit too much, and you probably can't drink "normally". Best to just put it aside and don't try to dabble with it.

[byates5637]

very true novaseeker. well said.

 

People who have brains that like alcohol too much often have the same problem in other areas of life as well. A drinking problem is just a symptom of this type of brain. Some people get addicted to ciggerettes, some people gamble too much, some people drink too much, and some people (no offense) have to visit enotalone several times a day. The list goes on and on.

 

My point - if your stuck with an addictive personality you most likely won't be able to change it. But it doesn't have to be a bad thing. You can try to channel your compulsions into healthier things like your work or your health.

[mike-e-mike]

How old is karibo because you sound pretty young, and let me tell you, when me and my mates were all groms (young people) we used to push the limits so much and so often, but eventually, like you we realised that waking up not remember how you got home isn't a cool thing. So eventually you cut back and you find your limits and work with them. Eat food when you drink, drink water etc.

 

I filled so many categories of those stupid alcoholic brochures when I was like 15, yeah right I'm a 15 year old alcoholic...I was just a rebel who wanted to go to older kids parties!

 

On the flip side though, if you are like 25 and this has been happening a lot (ie you didnt have your first drink last year) then you might have an issue with it...just see if you can find your limit and work around it first, drink slower as you approach it and have food and water when you drink.