mike-e-mike

Man I trailed through 13 pages of it you bet I read the original post. Everyone is paying out the blokes who say they are mistreated nice guys because they think they are all self pitying losers, but there are nice ones out there and, like it or not, until some women mature a bit they do have an aversion to blokes who are not, how do you put it...as genuinely nice as some of the ones they overlook. No one likes a man who doesn't get up for another bout and thats where the defeatist nice guys come into it but there is nothing wrong with being an admitted 'nice guy' when it comes to dealing with ladies. edit: I think the reasons men go with slutty ladies and women go with bad boy men are very different and really shouldnt be compared like that...

How old is karibo because you sound pretty young, and let me tell you, when me and my mates were all groms (young people) we used to push the limits so much and so often, but eventually, like you we realised that waking up not remember how you got home isn't a cool thing. So eventually you cut back and you find your limits and work with them. Eat food when you drink, drink water etc. I filled so many categories of those stupid alcoholic brochures when I was like 15, yeah right I'm a 15 year old alcoholic...I was just a rebel who wanted to go to older kids parties! On the flip side though, if you are like 25 and this has been happening a lot (ie you didnt have your first drink last year) then you might have an issue with it...just see if you can find your limit and work around it first, drink slower as you approach it and have food and water when you drink.

Females don't like 'nice guys' because they need drama in their life. A complacent, cooperative and eager to please man provides none of that, so regardless of whether or not it's better for them in the long run a woman will pick a relationship that is full of drama until the day comes when they want to settle down, then they will complain there is no nice guys left because they are all married (which, they will be). You get a few different types of nice guys though: There is the sleazy nice guys you meet at the nightclub (blokes can generally tell the type straight away) who noticably changes when he is picking up or around a woman he wants to pull - he will say honestly he is a nice guy when his mates know full well he treats women (and men) poorly. These guys get a lot of birds though. There is the nerdy nice guy who doesn't get the birds very often so places the woman he is with (or has a chance with) on a pedestal which scares them off (and doesn't provide the aforementioned required drama). - These are the ones who complain about turning into a friend too much - and rightly so, it sucks. These guys generally turn into much more well balanced people and generally stay nice, turning into the final nice guy... The genuine nice guy is someone who lives and treats people the way he wants to be treated and does it just because they couldn't live any other way. These guys don't put the hard word on girls as much as some, and as a result can end up being shelved as friends. But rest assured, living by standards and having a moral code will pay off in the long run, not to mention that, as I said before, these nice guys will all be married by the time the drama queens are ready to settle down. Just don't be a depressing nerdy nice guy (the self pitying one), they are true nice guys waiting to bust out...they are just trapped in a shell that needs a bit of work. The 'nice guys finish last' isn't just about women though, it is a fact of life and is relevant in a lot of areas. But to some people finishing first isn't the most important thing in the world!!!

Hi I had a big breakup ages ago (2 years) and I haven't had any contact with women apart from friendships since, but thats not really the issue. The thing is after we broke up and I was very sad, I remember that my Ex had a journal on the internet and I wondered if she had written anything (it was dumb to look I know but It's long done now). She hadn't written anything for a long time but she did have a load of entries from a while ago when we had broken up temporarily (I broke it off with her, I was a bit stupid and young then). We had broken up for a few months, in our 3 and a half year relationship, and she had found herself a group of new older male friends, mainly from the navy (through one of her girlfriends boyfriend). I know she got kind of involved with a guy called Brad, but we discussed it when we got back together and in one of those 'close' moments she promised me she that never had sex with him. Well, when I read the journal (which I can't believe I never read when we were together), it mentions in one of those quizzes that stupid teenage girls spread around, a question: what do you regret doing? (this is in the time we are broken up and a lot of her journal is about how she hates me and how she loves brad) her regret is 'that I didn't f*ck brad again before he left with the navy' (he left for the navy not long before we got back together) I haven't spoke to my ex in a very very long time (almost 2 years) but since I've read that... well at first I felt very hurt for a few days but then it went away, and now occasionally I will think about her, and then sometimes I will think about that fact, and it still really hurts me and makes me feel sad. It just hurts me because she really turned on me when we broke up (she broke up with me at the end, and slept with another one of her navy friends!). And when we were together again after I made amends for the first breakup (we were together another year afterwards), I was always very cosy and comfortable with the fact that even though we were apart, neither of us ever slept with anyone else (before this we were eachothers first). Now I realise that I was wrong, and with her very quick and disturbing change of feelings towards me was also a history of deceit. I am studying, and the campus I am at has a school physchologist but I've never spoken to her, should I speak to her? It's been months since I found out but it still stings occasionally when I think about it. I'd really appreciate any advice, thanks.

I haven't been in a relationship for almost two years now, and in that time I haven't even kissed a woman forget about anything else. I know there are people out there that don't think that long is such a bad thing but it seems (it IS) that everyone around me see's it differently and is constantly having sex and finding new girlfriends/boyfriends all the time. I've tried going to clubs and meeting women and it seems to me that my only problem is that I don't put enough pressure on them (ie. grabbing things and forcing myself on them, I can't believe that's honestly these guy's tactics!). I never put the hard word on women and I like to be as gentlemanly as I know how, ie. NOT FORCING MYSELF ON SOMEONE I'VE JUST MET!! This is how my friends end up with ladies but I just can't do it, please don't tell me thats how its done, I don't want a woman who doesn't slap a man who touches them without the proper invitation. Does anyone have any advice for me?

Sorry mate no good stories here. I reckon, when that sort of thing happens, that it's a self destructive idea to let the other person stick with their new flavour of the month until it doesn't work/they decide it isn't as good as they imagined (which is ALL it ever amounts to when they go back), and they fall on you because you waited faithfully like a puppy while they did whatever they wanted. No one is worth that sort of obedience.

Thanks for your reply mate. I have a problem though, she gave me her number (about 1 week ago now) I called her at the concert but I haven't spoke to her since. How would I find a reason to call her out of the blue? In a way so she won't think I'm weird (plus I don't want to cause any friction by calling when her boyfriend is there or anything, if she has one). I am ok a dribbling on during a conversation and making it flow but I'm very business minded I guess. If I'm calling you it's for a reason, 'chit-chat' is something I rarely practice. If I could find a reason to call her, then let the conversation flow after that it would feel a whole lot better. I really appreciate your input, thanks a lot

Hi I have to explain my situation a little, I am 21 but I am studying for uni entry starting at a level that most (obediant) people cover when they are 16 in my state. The school I am at is well known for this and I'm not the only mature age student in the class. There is a girl in one of my classes that I joke around with and kind of flirt with (I see her looking my direction and I smile at her and she smiles back, we pick on eachother sometimes that sort of thing). We are only in the one class together and I generally dont see her at break times but we did meet up at a concert recently and she gave me her phone number so that we could meet up for one of the bands. I lifted her on my shoulders for as long as I could take the beatings from the mosh-pit and it was good fun. So yeah now I have her phone number and I'm kind of keen to ask her out somewhere, but I'm not sure how to approach it because of a few reasons. We are having our exams in a few weeks then school is over for the year so I wasn't sure whether I should wait until thats all finished and maybe ask her out to celebrate exams ending or something. She is either 16 or 17 (probably 16) so I am 5 years older than her, is that too old? Plus I'm not sure where to ask her out too either, the movies is very cliche and kind of immature I reckon. Do you think that if I waited until exams are over and phoned her it would seem a bit cowardly? Another problem is, I don't even know if she has a boyfriend or not! I was thinking of just calling her and saying something along the lines of 'I don't know if this is out of line, but could I take you lunch or something sometime?'. I don't want to push anything, we don't know eachother that well but I think we could have lots of fun. Exams finish in about 3-4 weeks, would I be missing my opportunity by not acting? I'd appreciate any input especially from ladies, thanks for reading.

Thanks for all your help guys I'll take it into account, I'm still not sure whether or not I'll mail her. I suppose it's not such a big deal, and I can take the moral high ground for making the effort. I will keep it short and sweet I guess, but I'm still going to have a think about it. Thanks again

Do you think that doing that will give her the wrong impression? I'm not sure if I want to be friends with her I think I just kind of want to lay it all to rest. Thanks for replying!

My ex broke up with me ages ago now (about a year and a bit) and we didn't end well, I kinda said something along the lines of 'do me a favour and never contact me again' at the very end. It has been ages and its soppy etc but I've never been so close friends with anyone and I really miss it now. I know her email is still the same as before and part of me desperately wants to contact her but the other part of me is still so bitter and angry at the way she treated me. I'm also very scared she'll be in a new serious relationship and tell me to get lost. I don't want to get back together with her, I think I just really miss talking to that person who knew me so well and whos company I used to enjoy so much. I'd like help with what to do, I've tried time, I've had a lot of time. My feelings of anger toward her have subsided and I talk about her with no bitterness but when I am back in an area we used to be together in (I have moved but my family live where she lives, and where we used to spend time together) I find all the feelings rushing back. I haven't seen or spoke to her in a very long time. The main problem with sending her an email is I'm really not sure what to say and not sure what I want to hear, I don't want to bring back all those horrible feelings I had. I'm just hoping that maybe if I start talking to her again I can finally get over it all somehow, because like I said, it's been over a year now and I still find myself dreaming about her and genuinely missing how close we were. I'd appreciate any thoughts you can offer, thankyou, whoever you are.

I was in a long term relationship that went exremely sour about 10-11 months ago. I gave up contact with this girl but I know she has been with at least one other person in the immediate aftermath of the breakup. What upsets me is that it is almost a year since I was with this girl and I can't seem to charm another girl at all. I have barely even touched another female since my ex-girlfriend, and I am afraid that no-one will ever like me again. I am not what you would call 'fat' although I defenitely dont have a 6-pack and big man tits, I am just a regular bloke but with high principles, and a high respect for women. Why the hell cant nice guys like me find decent women who will respect and admire u for doing the right thing...what the hell is with this bad boy crap... Argh....

I was at a club tonight and I made eye-contact with a few girls but you never know if its just that or more you need to make it seem special, yeah like with a wink or something. Then keep the eye contact and grin you know, outrageous flirting. Make it seem worth the try other than 'she was looking at the bloke behind me, it isnt worth it'

Thanks for the advice guys i guess i just had a momentary lapse of judgement

My ex was very mean to me and broke up with me in a horrible way about 6-7 months ago. I have since gotten over most of what happened but still feel a lot of hate towards her. She refused to speak to me for a few months after it happened and i initiated contact with her and it went bad. I have since told her to leave me alone and not to talk to me if she sees me out, but i feel such a strong urge to contact her. I dont constantly think about her, and i do feel like i have healed over most of the breakup. But the other night i talked about it to a girl who mentioned that she had also had a similar long relationship and it had ended. Its not as if i broke down and didnt talk about anything but my breakup but i did refer to it a couple of times. And tonight i found out that my friends were talking to my ex like she is a friend of theirs and i asked them out of respect to treat her like shit because of what she did to me. I admit that i did go on about it for a while and it disturbs me, because i really think i have gotten over most of it. The thing is i do still think about her a lot. Its a lot different to when we first broke up, the memories dont really make me sad or long for the old relationship, i just think about her a lot. I think about making contact with her but the last time i did she was not very compassionate and was always short and rude, never friendly. I know she has slept with people since breaking up with me and i have not touched anyone else (we were eachothers first). I found out tonight she is still using her old e-mail address. I am thinking about sending her an e-mail but i am afraid she will be rude and short with me again, and maybe take me initiating contact as a sign of weakness and think less of me. I am desperately afraid of finding out she has found a new man, she gave me the old 'i just dont want to be with anyone at the moment' speech (but then started sleeping with her roommate a few weeks after). I guess i dont want to contact her but i cant stop thinking about it. I just really miss the friend i had in her.... can anyone offer advice on what to do? I don't stay caged in, i mingle a lot and meet lots of new people but its just very hard to forget her entirely...

Think about if you will regret not saying anything and make a decision, just remember, he who hesitates has lost!

Different things grow at different speeds mate i'd say ur going fine I'd be worried if it was 11 1/4 inches 6 is okay, see how big it is when your 18, chances are your dick jumped the puberty cue now hes going to have to wait up for the rest of your body. Just my informed medical opinion of course

Hi grieving, it is very strange and cosmic that i come accross your message tonight. I am thinking of memories of my ex and your message is very relevant and very appropriate. I hope one day she will realise it is her loss but part of me also knows that life just completely shits on some people, and some people dont share the moral values that i do. If my ex knows what is good for her she wont ever try to ask for me back, I will revel in leading her on and making her suffer as much as possible. I don't know about your ex but some things are un-forgivable. Forget being meant for eachother how do you explain widowers re-marrying and that sort of thing? There are lots of people that you can fall in love with its just a matter of finding them, its all genetic, research Schopenhauer

Thanks guys, on the up side I start a new job next week (and I'm going to a big music festival this weekend!) so hopefully I'll be able to go in with a clean slate and make some interesting new friends. It is good to hear from other people. Thanks again.

My ex-girlfriend broke up with me a few months ago in what I think was a cowardly and mean way. As time has gone on I have tried to talk to her and I wish I could be her friend but she hurt me a lot when she broke up with me, and she still seems very inconsiderate. I don't think she is worthy of being my friend anymore but I miss her so much. She was my closest friend. I don't feel sad about the loss of the relationship all the time anymore but im always remembering her and it brings it all back again. It does go away again but I'm wondering if this is normal. When I spoke to her last I got an empty kind of feeling in my stomach, a mix of anxiety and sadness i think, when I asked if she still got anything like that and she said no, nothing. Is it normal for it to linger so long? Like i said in the topic, i think i just really miss my old friend. Thanks in advance.

Oh well i guess i jumped the gun a bit, but its my understanding u can build muscle from fat and its ***en easy to get fat so go out and eat heaps of macdonalds, build some mass to transform, make it happen!!

I'd say stay away from anything like that, roids shrink your balls so its a fairly safe assumption to say that a new, untested, steroid-like drug can possibly have the same side-effects. And you dont want to grow b*tch t*ts like bob from fight club.

Thanks guys Im a bit worried about speaking to her, i run the conversation in my head and it never ends well, and i dont want to give her the satisfaction of letting her know she's still in my head. I do run sometimes to feel better and i think about writing a letter to her that i wont send but i havent done it. Maybe i'll take your guys advice and thanks for being there ------- Fear is good, keep fear. But travel light, forget hate.

Hi, my ex broke up with me about 3 months ago over the phone and refused to see me or speak to me after a 3 1/2 year relationship. My problems are this, I don't want anything to do with her, least of all to ever be involved with her again. But my thoughts always drift to her and what shes doing, who she is with etc. I feel over her in the sense that i never want to be involved with her but my mind is always drifting to what she is doing now, is she thinking about me etc. I hate this and the thing is I hate her. The only thing I hold on to is how much I hate her for what she has done and I constantly think about what i would say/do to her if she ever asked for me back. I dont like this hate and I would like most of all to just forget about her and for her to never invade my thoughts again but I am constantly reminded of her and my hate brews and brews and will turn into something draining. How do i forget this dirty slvt and learn how not to hate her, just to live.

Religion is a huge debate that has been going on for thousands of years and that question has been asked and answered in a thousand different ways, you just have to find an answer that satifies you. Remember there are other avenues and only you can decide what you would like to believe in. I personally am not christian and follow no organised religion, but I am familiar with one thing christians sometimes say to soften the onset of the inevitable bad times we all have (some a lot more than others) "God helps those who help themselves" You cant blame god for everything, sorry mate sometimes life just shits on you. Most of the time it will pay you back for it, though, if your nice