Doesn't he want a rebound relationship with me?!

[Hunny1607307342]

Okay I had like a thing with this guy at college for 5 months. It was never official, but he ended what we did have, really swiftly and suddenly after stating he's not ready for a full-on relationship etc. etc. etc., 'its not you, its me', and 'i'm not the one for you'. Anyway, like a week later i found out he's dating this new girl and has this 'girlfriend'... Was CRUSHED. Just over a month afterwards, she broke up with him. He's started flirting with me like he used to, and giving me "looks" sometimes, which made me think maybe he'll give it a go with me now, since its over with her! But, despite the touching, flirting, etc. he hasn't properly tried anything on me. Its been 2 weeks since he broke up with her. People have told me I shouldn't get back with him because I'm better than a backup plan, but thats not the point, the point is, if he's not tried anything, am I not even GOOD ENOUGH for a backup plan?! I mean he's just been chucked, and I was nearly his girlfriend before he got with her... SO WHY NOT?! It's really degrading and I keep asking myself what I'm lacking! If he doesn't fall into a REBOUND with me now it means I have no chance with him ever, right? I looked at his phone today and the background of his phone was still a picture of THEM together... and i thought okkaay it was awkard because he knew I saw it. Anyway, then he says 'hey why don't we take a picture together'. So now there's one in his phone of us. I don't know whether stuff like this meaningless or not Opinions will be greatly appreciated xxx

[kellbell]

Hunny,

 

Is this same guy you mentioned here?

 

 

Because if it is, my post there still applies.

[markm]

Yeah, being the rebound sucks. But, not even being considered a rebound sucks even more! I know what you mean.

Well, we all need to have some damn dignity around here, myself included.

For the last month my ex is with someone else whom is a potsmoking, drunk, permiscuous, loser. I doubt it will last as she is already weary of him but still pines after this idiot whatever.

Well, i'm sure it won't last and if she comes running back to me I'd feel like a 2nd class piece of crap if I took her back.

And if she didn't come back, I would feel like "Damn! I can't believe didn't even consider coming back to me!"

We all want our exes to realize they made a big mistake and come running back so that we can hurt them and tell them to go screw off.

Poetic Justice!

Well, it rarely turns out that way, so don't get your hopes up.

We all know there are TONS of other people out there, but we are just to lazy to go back out there and get them.

It is soooo much eaiser to feel sorry for ourselves.

[renaissancewoman101]

I understand how you feel. There are times that I even feel "am I good enough to even be considered to be a backup plan". That is not a good feeling to have since that shows to others how little we think of ourselves. If we think of ourselves that negatively, we portray that to others to and invite in people who will take advantage of us, use us, then spit us out. The dating world is a cruel place and we, as women, have to learn to stick up for ourselves, not become measely seconds to men, who are mostly out for themselves, cruel, angry and bloodsucking.

 

And no, him taking a picture with you on his phone doesnt mean anything. Sometimes guys do weird things to make us think that we are important in their eyes and estimation that what is reality. Reality is guys are out to use women and spit them out.

 

Remember, this is just my opinion. There are nice guys out there to and you deserve to go and find a fresh new and nice one. Not one that has spit you out once before and now "maybe" might be interested in dating you again.

[WildChild]

Have you ever thought that maybe he has too much respect for you than you have for yourself right now.

[annie24]

Have you ever thought that maybe he has too much respect for you than you have for yourself right now.

 

I was going to say the same thing. Maybe you two will get back together one day, maybe not. You never know.

 

But don't look at it as, "he doesn't think I'm good enough to have a rebound with." He may respect you and not want to treat you as a "good time girl." Think about it - you rebound with someone you KNOW isn't right for you, not with someone you may have a real relationship with one day.

 

Or maybe he just doesn't feel like having a rebound relationship. Not all people want rebounds as soon as they get out of another relationship.

 

If I were in your shoes, I'd be distant and friendly. If you are really interested in a relationship with him, don't fall back into "friends with benefits."

[annie24]

Remember, this is just my opinion. There are nice guys out there to and you deserve to go and find a fresh new and nice one. Not one that has spit you out once before and now "maybe" might be interested in dating you again.

 

I agree with this also!!! Maybe better to find a new guy that is crazy about you insteading of sitting around, waiting to see if this guy changes his mind or not.

[Hunny1607307342]

Hey guys thank you so much for all your advice it means ssoo much to me! I can see where you're all coming from and it's funny because when he was with his new girlfriend I had lost ALL hope of him EVER changing his mind, and I thought even if he did, I'd love to just reject him and hold my head up high. But now that he's actually started showing interest again, I'm doing the opposite. Love is SO BLIND because like you guys all said, I should wait for a guy who IS crazy about me etc. etc., but I can't stop my self feeling this way it's almost masochistic but I can't help it! He invited me to go clubbing on the weekend; I think I'm going to assume it's officially over if he doesn't try anything that night.

[annie24]

why didn't you think that it was officially over when he left you for another girl? I think that was a big red flag right there.

 

But just because a person won't have a rebound with you.... may mean that they actually respect you!