Dogg Posted March 27, 2006 Author Share Posted March 27, 2006 well, I just sent her an email saying that I think that she may have misinterpretted what I thought was happening and that all I was really doing was enjoying spending time with her and that I valued her and loved the fun that we had been having and that I wanted it to continue. I'm not sure if this was smart, or how she will respond if at all, but I think that it was something that I had to do. I really liek this girl and I see no reason to end something that we were both enjoying immensly. we had a lot of fun together and this thing on friday just came out of nowhere and I'm not willing to accept it just yet. there was no reason for it and anyone who is thinking about ending something does not call and text so much everyday and want to hang out all the time and especially does not kiss you after they say that. I just hope that this works itself out in my favor! any advice is welcome and needed... Link to comment
WildChild Posted March 27, 2006 Share Posted March 27, 2006 Well, I think you will have an answer shortly whether it's from her response or lack there of. I hope Dogg this does work out, you really have been excited about her since the very first date. Link to comment
Lansing Posted March 27, 2006 Share Posted March 27, 2006 Yeah.. I hope it works out for you too... I also sent an e-mail after a few weeks but I never received a response. After, I was wondering if my message came accross correctly,etc..... So, I hope that she responds to you in some way and that you are able to communicate with each other. It definitely seems like some kind of misunderstanding. Link to comment
redhook Posted March 27, 2006 Share Posted March 27, 2006 Women are a mystery. Plain and simple. I really don't understand it myself. Link to comment
WildChild Posted March 27, 2006 Share Posted March 27, 2006 I really don't understand it myself. Me neither, I was blown away to see this post! Link to comment
Dogg Posted March 28, 2006 Author Share Posted March 28, 2006 well, no response as of yet from her. I'm not sure if she will or will not actually respond to me. The more and more that I think about this, I am more and more confused by the whole ordeal. It just seemed to be going so well and it felt so right and from all the evidence that I was getting from her, she felt the same way. Is it possible that she just got scared away by the fact that I truly was doing everything right? Does that happen sometimes? Maybe she thought that I was to good to be true? I just feel really taken aback by the fact that I have learned and have grown so very much from my previous relationship and I did everything differently this time around and look where it has gotten me yet again, MISERY and confusion! PLEASE HELP!!!!!! Link to comment
Lansing Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 I would like to hear some more female perspectives on this. I.e. if they ever just get scared from a guy doing everything "right" and get worried about falling to hard for him in case he isn't as interested. I.e., what does that book "he just isn't into you" recommend to do when you think the guy isn't interested in you as much as you are in him. Dogg, if she doesn't respond to this e-mail, I think you are better off leaving contact for a few weeks..... That way you can also show that you are serious and not just "needy"... Link to comment
WildChild Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 OK, I am just as baffled on this. First Dogg I am sorry this is even going on. It was gr8 to hear that things were looking up for you when you met her. I have to say there are two flips to this coin, and based on what we have been told, this is obviously about her and not him. I guess I think it was a good idea to email her, but now the ball is in her court. Don't contact her again until you hear from her. Link to comment
Dogg Posted March 28, 2006 Author Share Posted March 28, 2006 I just am feeling so confused and worthless about this situation. I really was very happy with her and with what was going on and in no way did I anticipate that this was happening or that it was going to happen. I just really like her and even though its only been three days s9ince we last spoke, it is the longest that it has been with out us speaking since we first met like two months ago. I know that I must lay low and see what happens but I just wonder if there is anything proactive that I can do? Link to comment
WildChild Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 I can say this. Based on your previous posts, and the changes you have made because of your previous relationship I would continue to be the person you are today, and not then. Someone Dogg is going to appreciate it and not mix it with some off the wall slap in the face from out of thin air. Remember who you were and who you are now. Which person do you like most? You got through your previous relationship, you can get through this. This was a hump in the road, not a dead end. Link to comment
Lady Bugg Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 Dogg...Just a suggestion: Why don't you post on other peoples threads and offer them advice to THEIR situations? I notice you always get a lot of feedback, but never really offer any. I suggest this because many times reading other peoples situations can sometimes shed light on your own,...AND you are helping someone else..thus taking your mind off your OWN issues. Just a thought. Link to comment
Dogg Posted March 28, 2006 Author Share Posted March 28, 2006 yes lady bug, you are right in a way, but I am in NO WAY capeable of providing worthwhile advice to anyone who wants to fix and/or not f*ck something up. Everything I touch no matter how good it seems to be going innevitably becomes a mess and only leads to my own misery! Sorry! Link to comment
WildChild Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 OK, Dogg, now you are in a downward spiral. Quit it! Go back and reread your posts. Look how far you came up to when you met her! Go out there and tear up the town. You were so confident with yourself and who you were...don't tell me in the last two months he has been shoved aside? What happened to the "cool, calm, and collected" man you have been? Link to comment
Lady Bugg Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 Actually, that's a bit of a selfish attitude Dogg. I could see if you had some life altering experience, lost a limb or something drastic. What has happened to you? Someone you dated for two months doesn't feel the 'spark" for you. It happens everyday, all over the world. Guess what? It is NOT the end of the world. Not EVERYONE is going to think you're great, or fall in love with you just because you THINK they should. Yes, maybe you did everything right...but the fact is, it wasn't enough for HER. THAT'S the fact you need to deal with. Sorry if I'm being harsh...but sometimes reality is not exactly pretty nor is the truth. Be grateful for the things you DO have. Link to comment
Dogg Posted March 28, 2006 Author Share Posted March 28, 2006 Its just hard to be that fun, confident person hat i was when it seems that nothing that I do works. I really felt something special going on with this girl and I truly liked her a lot and I thought that she felt equally about me and everything that she was doing and saying seemed to prove that. It made me feel really really good to finally feel wanted and worth something to someone and have some one want to be with me and be around me and be close to me. why is it that girls seem to fall hard for me and then all of a sudden and this goes for my ex and this new girl, they are just fine with never speaking to me again? What am I doing wrong here? I just don't get it... Link to comment
WildChild Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 Here's an off the wall suggestion, but I would turn to your family and friends and ask for their absolute observations or feelings on how or why they see things. Not personally having met you, it is hard to determine what if anything you are doing "wrong". Be prepared for their responses, without getting defensive etc... This is to better you, not to insult you. Keep in mind Dogg, it is a good possibility this has nothing to do with you. It may just be the women themselves and that they are not meant for you no matter how right or good it feels. This was something new and exciting for you...it doesn't mean you did anything wrong necessarily, just that she may have not seen it this way as she's been down this road prior to your travel of it. Link to comment
Lady Bugg Posted March 28, 2006 Share Posted March 28, 2006 Dogg, I think Wild's suggestion is a good one. We can only give you limited advice having not met you....but whatever you do, keep an open mind...and avoid being defensive. As she said...it's meant to better you. Link to comment
Dogg Posted March 29, 2006 Author Share Posted March 29, 2006 Well, I got a response to my email last night and I wrote back, here they all are, tell me what you think the next step should be and what that is or anything you all have to say because i truly value your advice! I sent this to her: I just wanted to apologize for Friday because I have been thinking about it a lot. I just felt a bit blindsided by the things that you were saying and they caught me off guard. I really thought that we were enjoying each other and that is really all that I wanted and could have asked for. I think that you are so sweet and nice and incredibly beautiful and i liked spending time with you and in no way did i want you to think that I was expecting anything more than that. I am all for "rolling with the punches" and seeing where things go and not jumping into anything. I have been doing a lot of thinking and i think that you misunderstood the way that I thought that things were going. I simply really like and value you and your company and enjoyed being with you and laughing with you. Call me if you would like to. she sent this back: You don't have to apoligize for anything. I know that what I said came out of nowhere. I just wanted to let you know how I felt before it went further. I liked hanging out with you but I don't want anything right now. If you could be my friend I would enjoy that. But I would never expect that from you. I guess I thought that maybe it would work out. Im sorry if I led you on or hurt you in anyway and I wanted you to know that you did nothing wrong and that I appreciate everything that you have done. So if you wanna talk and be friends we can, but that is up to you.... I sent this back to her: I really liked hangin out with you too, and I would like that to continue! I'm not sure that I want anything right now either! i just wanted to let you know that the things that I did for you, and with you were because i wanted to, not because i was expecting anything at all, just to enjoy you and being with you. I truly think that you are amazing in so many ways! I too thought that this may have the ability to go further, but in no way did I think that was the way that it was going to be so soon, nor was i ready for it to take that route. I do really like you, I miss talking to you, and hangin out with you, and even kissing you, but I do not and did not want you to feel any pressure at all. If you did, then i am sorry for that is not at all what I intended, i thought the feelings were somewhat mutual... I just feel, and i really do mean this, that it is stupid to end something that we both really seemed to enjoy ( and I mean each other) for no reason aside from that we both may not be ready........thats just how I feel! I really just want to continue to get to know you and what you are about and enjoy you!!!!!! I'm not even thinking about later on.....just NOW! All I know is that now, I don't want you out of my life..........lets just see how things turn out babe........that is all I ever wanted from you! Its up to you.... That is what has transpired thus far. I think that it is obvious that there is somethign there on both accounts, but that maybe she just got worried that she felt that things were going to a place that she was not ready for yet and it scared her a little. I don't know. What I do know is that I do liek her and even though I was talking to all of you about being exclusive because that is what I thought that she would have wanted, I never said that to her. I would simply like to continue to cultivate the "realtionship" or whatever you want to call it and see where things go from there. Is that unreasonable? I know that there is something there or she wouldn't have been the one doing all the calling and texting all the time and she most defnitly would not have run back to the car that night to kiss me as I was leaving. What is there to do now? Advice please cause I don't want to do anything stupid here and further push this one away...... Link to comment
kellbell Posted March 29, 2006 Share Posted March 29, 2006 Hey Dogg! I have been keeping track of your recent posts and I have to say I am so sorry about what happened. Things seemed to be going so well. I must say that I respect this girl because she did email you back and in a very succinct way, told you how she felt and why she blindsighted you. I think her email to you said it all, she wants to be your friend and nothing more. She may have realized at one point that although she loves being with you and is very fond of you, it is not there for her. And she ended the relationship. I truly believe it is nothing you did or did not do. She was not "feeling it." That is that sucky part of dating. One puts him/herself out there and risks getting hurt. Maybe at this point, try not to put all your eggs in one basket. Maybe go and date a few girls and not committ to anything just yet. I guess that is up to you. I would not email her anymore. Let her respond to the one you just sent. And if she does not, well, you have your answer. I am so sorry about what happened. I know you really care about her. (((hugs))) Link to comment
Dogg Posted March 29, 2006 Author Share Posted March 29, 2006 may it be posssible to cultivate something from this if i remain her friend? I mean it is quite obvious to me that there was something there...and that maybe she just wasn't ready to feel the way that she was feeling. She had to have felt something or else she would not have called and kept in such close contact all this time right????? Do you think that remaining "friends" with her could possibly lead to bigger and better things? Link to comment
kellbell Posted March 29, 2006 Share Posted March 29, 2006 Well, this is my opinion of course, but if it was there, she was not have ended things. At least for me, if I am into a guy, I would be more than happy to take things to the next level, not just want to be friends. It is up to you, you can remain friends with her. But I am not sure if things will esculate out of the friendship. It is hard to say. I guess it is up to you Dogg but I would not email her any more, at least for a while. The ball is in her court. For now, I would just lay low for awhile. Link to comment
WildChild Posted March 29, 2006 Share Posted March 29, 2006 If I may throw in my two cents. I think the email is a positive indication that she too enjoys you Dogg. And now the part you won't like. I am afraid that even though you say you will just be friends with her, that in your heart of hearts you will deep down hope that every time you see her, spend time with her etc...that maybe THIS will be the day she will want to further your relationship. Now, there is no saying that couldn't happen. BUT, if it doesn't happen, you will without a doubt feel very disappointed in her and in yourself. You will have led yourself on to believe that eventually she will come around. Can you honestly be o.k. and support her should she date someone else? Will you put your feelings aside for her and encourage her to do the right thing if she meets someone she is interested in? More importantly, since it sounds like you agreed to be her friend, are you going to continue to put all your eggs into one basket? I would hope that you will take this opportunity to date other women while continuing to do things with her. Remember, there is no committment here. Please don't talk yourself into feeling one way just on the notion that maybe someday she will feel different. Link to comment
kellbell Posted March 29, 2006 Share Posted March 29, 2006 I have to agree with WildChild...maybe putting your eggs in one basket is not the way to go right now. Maybe going out and meeting different women is the thing to do. No committments for the time being. Just a thought. Link to comment
Dogg Posted March 29, 2006 Author Share Posted March 29, 2006 thanks for the advice, it most definitly gives me something to think about. On the other hand, I just spoke to a very good female friend about the situation and she thinks that her response indicates that she is scared. She said that there are things that I could do to "woo" her if I wanted to take that route, one of those things being to send her flowers with a little note that just says "lets forget all the bullsh*it and just have fun together!" or soemthing like that. I'm not sure if that would be the right thing to do, nor am I sure that I would or could actually do it for fear that it would be misconstrued but at the same time, I do think that she may find it really sweet and nice and thoughtful and it may let her know that I do want her in my life. I don't know anymore, but I think that I may have seen something in her that is making me want to do whatever it takes.... Link to comment
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