i'm not doing well right now

[b8s]

well i met my ex to exchange things. i went over there and i said to myself i wasn't going to talk and i said i didn't care for him anymore.

 

well now im a basket case and i cant stop crying i miss him so much and i want to be with him.

 

he told me what happened his gut told him that the relationship wasn't right and he still cared for me but i could do better. and he said he is a person who likes everyone and i dont like anyone.( that i dont get i dont like everyone but i do like people) he said he was sorry he makes me sad he doesn't mean too. he agreed that we didn't get a fair shot at being together because of a whole bunch of things this past month.

 

i know i shouldn't have but after hearing these things i told him i missed him, and i asked if i should stop hoping that we could fix things. he said no not right now. if i can't have him back now i dont want him back!!i am such a mess this is worse than before. i think deep down i know he doesnt have feelings for me anymore because if he did we could try. and he said to me at one point his gut told him it didnt feel right and it was better to listen to it now than it happening a few months from now. i cant remember how much of the conversation went because he was talking quiet and i was upset.

 

when i couldn't get on here and write a mess i texted him saying if i were to invite you over tonight would you come? he never answered. and i want to call him now and keep asking him to give it one more shot it would work now. i hope i dont do that. i dont want to be that pathetic person begging him to come back to me when he is coming off so positive that he made the right decision. i just think he made the wrong one, and he isnt giving us a chance because he was hurt before and he thinks his gut is telling him its going to happen so i may as well end it now..

 

i need to hear something from someone, i feel worse now than the day we broke up.

 

i also asked him for my letters back he asked why and i said because i didnt want people at work to read them they were personal.. he said he wasnt like that his business is his only ( i know hes not like that) but i dont want him to have that part of me down on paper. any how he told me he didnt have them i know he still does.. why does he want to keep them??

[b8s]

i really want to keep calling and calling him until he says ok lets try again. i know thats not the right thing to do you cant force someone to be with you when they dont want to be. i just want him to want me again and i want to be happy with him again. i know me begging isnt going to help things when we have to see each other at work. also he said he had heard i went on a date sat night. i told him its hard to enjoy and go on dates when you feelings are for someone else.. I MISS HIM.

[kellbell]

Hi there,

 

I am so sorry about your break-up. (((hugs))) It seems he has his mind made up and unfortunately, there is not much you can do. As far as the letters go, well, he wants to keep them maybe because he sees them as "gifts" from you and does not see the point in giving them back. Your situation reminds me of when I broke up with my ex. He went through all my things, took letters, pictures of him and pictures me and him, cards he gave ME and tore them up or threw them away. It infuriated me. Those were MY things. He had no right to do that...so I hate to say it...I can relate to your ex as far as the letters go. I wanted to heal at my own pace and if that meant me keeping those things he gave me, then so be it, I would have dealt with them as I saw fit. I felt like he took my healing time and choices away from me by doing what he did.

 

Anyhow...hard-core NC my friend. It is your only option. Any other attempts to contact him would do you no good. I know this is hard and agonizing but as cliche as it sounds...time is the only thing that is going to help. Focus on you and your recovery from all this. And come here a lot...there is so much support and encouragement here. So many people whom know what you are feeling and going through. We are here to listen and help any way we can. Try to be strong. (((hugs)))

[Beyondthesea]

I'm sorry to hear you are feeling poorly right now, but it will be alright.

 

You are definitely doing the right thing not being together if he is going to be like that. Of course you miss him, it has hardly been a week right? The truth is, you just got afraid because getting your things is very final in terms of a break up. Know that it is ok, and you will be alright!

 

We're here for you, be strong

[kerure]

Even though I am going through the lowest time of my life right now, I am taking out a minute of wallowing in self pity to tell you that I understand exactly what you're going through. My last trip to my bf's ended last week and I packed every single item I had there down to my toothbrush, becasue I knew it was time to move on. I thoguht I would die. But I'm getting stronger daily. Please however tempted you are, don't call or text him. If he is as definite with his decision as he sounds, he will not respond, not because he is trying to be mean, but because he is struggling to be strong as well and do what he feels is right for both of you, however wrong you feel that is. Imagine this... what's worse... not calling or texting him and having him wondering what you're up to or calling and texting and being ignored? You simply come off feeling worse if you choose th elatter option.

 

Chin up girl, we're all in this together!

[b8s]

all though nothing being is said is making me feel better, i thank you for responding its nice to hear from people who are responding to what i wrote. im not going to call or texts i know i wont get a responce. but up until tonight i had so much hope that we could fix things. but his gut knows best... and yeah its better to get it over with now, as oppose to a few months down the road but what happens if trying again knowing what mistakes we made would have made it ok and brought it back to what we both wanted from it in the beginning. now we will never know and i can be losing the person who really is right for me.

 

i just feel empty, i dont want to talk to any of my friends i feel like im not worth much right now. all i want is to talk to him.. reading and writing here makes it a little easier but not much

thanls

[indespair]

Sister, I totally know what you are going through, as I am going thru it right now too!! My b/f did basically the same thing to me, and came and got all his sutff, and I went the begging and pleading route...running after him and crying and basically losing all self-control and self-respect. I didn't care. I loved him and I was determined to make him KNOW that. So the first week I was in agony and then somewhere around the 2nd or 3rd week I stopped trying. I stopped calling. And then slowly he started to call me. Anyway, I don't know what's going to happen next..I wish I did...my story is by no means over yet; maybe yours isn't either. Maybe just give it some TIME to sort itself out (it's like grabbing at a wet bar of soap; you can't. When you let it drop, then you can pick it up.) and hopefully, he'll have nothing but time to think about YOU. I wish this for the BOTH OF US!! In the meantime, hang in there and keep posting on this site!! We're all here for ya.

[b8s]

as much as i love him i hope in a few weeks i will feel better and if he does come back i wont want him, i gave him the chance now to try and he chose not to.. his mind seems pretty made up anyways .

i am finding it hard to believe now that he ever cared for me ( his gut tells him its not right when we got in our first and only fight he allmost didnt call me back because he didnt want to be with me because he thought i was going to hurt him he only came around after tons of texts and calls he said i showed him that i did care and want him. and since then he has been a little distant because he thinks i will hurt him) i just cant believe someone will get rid of something because they were scared he cant know that it wont work out, for all he knows i could have been the one he was to marry and have kids with. now we will neveri know. because he doesnt want to try.

thats why im beginning to think it may have been lust for him. and then it hit him that he didnt love me. it is hard to know if anything that was said and felt was true anymore i just dont see how someone who says they love you can put you through so much pain and hurt can actualy care.