advice please!!!!

[b8s]

 

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well if anyone has read my other posts you are up to date on my relationship. so on sat i wrote my ex a letter.( i know bad). at work today i asked if he got it he said yeah and then for the rest of my shift we were civil to each other.i told him about a movie coming out and he made a joke to our boss about me when i was there. ( it was funny and not at all rude or out of place) he put scraps in my apron all the things he did to flirt with me when we were together.

 

in my letter i wrote down what i thought went wrong and if we were to fix things stuff would need to change. co-workers and work were not to be involved in out relationship etc etc things i would do different and him.we need to go back to how things were a couple months ago now that we know what happened.

 

at the end of my letter i said the decision is yours you can

1- call me and say lets talk and try and fix things. or

2-call me and say lets exchange our things back.

i would like to know soon so that i can move on if that is what he picks and hopefully one day we could end up friends just not now as i still have feelings.

 

i have no clue what to think! and how long should i give him to respond to my letter with a call? i am going to keep things light at work hi bye that type of thing and also not bring any of this up anymore he has the BALL.

oh if you dont read my other threads he broke up with me 2 weeks ago today saying he wasnt ready for a serious relationship.

 

i dont know how to cut and paste my threads but they are there ..

[Scotcha]

I did a similar thing when my boyfriend and I broke up. I even posted about it here under the name LiquidCherry. It didn't go well though.

 

Like you I tried to force him into making a decision.. A decision he had already made. I even gave him a time limit as I didn't want to be left waiting and I don't suggest that either.

 

It worked.. Kind of. We got back together for a couple of hours. I was so happy for such a short period of time. I knew in the back of my head that it wasn't going to last though.

 

He later told me that he couldn't be pressured in that way and that if we were going to be together that decision had to be entirely his. He was so right. He broke up with me and it would have to be him that was coming back to me. Don't chase. Don't follow. Don't ask. You have to keep moving forward. Maybe he'll catch up someday but he'll never even have the chace if you keep throwing yourself at him.

 

And if he doesn't.. You'll be moving forward and closer to a new relationship.

[b8s]

o.k i get that but why is he flirting with me now? that is what i don't understand.

[BONO]

Because your showing that you are ready to start moving on ??

 

 

Scruff

[Scotcha]

The flirting doesn't mean anything. It can confuse you. It can be read into. But after all is said and done it doesn't mean he's thinking about rekindling a relationship.

[b8s]

is it really that im moving on or is it because i made myself more approachable by breaking the ice talking about the movie?

[Scotcha]

I'd lead more towards you moving on.

[BONO]

So there you go. If you want to find out Keep moving on and see what happens. I'd put money on him moving towards you.

 

 

 

Scruff

[Scout]

I don't know what he's thinking. What's worse, you don't either because he's not giving you any answers, only mixed messages.

 

However, that in itself should give you the answer you need, but I'm afraid our advice isn't what you're really wanting to hear, is it? I understand, it's hard when you really care about someone to let go of the idea that it can work out.

 

But a relationship can only work when both parties are committed to making it work. It seems that for some time in your relationship, you were unsure if he really cared. It seems he did like to party a lot, and wasn't always that dependable about keeping the plans you two made. Unless that is an issue that he could right off the bat say he would work on, even if he did agree to reconcile, I predict he would resume his former behavior and you two would end up right back where you're at now.

 

Why does he flirt and still act friendly? Well, he probably wants to keep it civil at work, for one thing. And for another, I'm sure he has some feelings for you, but are they strong enough for him to make a serious resolve to get back together with you and work on the problems you two had? I'm sorry to say, but I'm not getting that feeling based on your posts. He can't even give you an answer on the letter, knowing how this issue must be stressing you out. Not a good sign, and not a good indication of someone who is at least mature enough to explain to you what his stand is on things.