Life is falling apart..

[joseph_hope]

Hi, I need to just talk... It will feel better to get my story off my chest. I had to make a new account because of embarrassment.

 

I am 20 years old. Growing up I was always the popular guy with no problems. I had many many friends, which I still do. I was one of the top students and top athletes in my small town. I had no trouble with girls either. They always loved me. I have faced alot of disappointments in the past few years. I gave up on sports which I always excelled at. I was let down very hard a couple times (getting cut by teams and not meeting my goals) and I just gave up. I'm barely getting by in school now. I have no motivation to do well. My girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me last summer and I just stopped thinking about her now.

 

Now my life just seems to be passing by. I hang out with losers. They are my best friends and I would do anything for them but they do not have any purpose in life . We smoke weed on a daily basis and now I cannot even hold a normal conversation. I do not care what people say, the weed has changed my personality so much. I think now I have a social problem and always feel uncomfortable around people. I even hate the way my appearance is now. I feel as though people are always judging me and looking at my imperfections. I cant get away from the weed and now I have no motivation either. I don't even know why I do it? I guess it is a easy out from my real problems and I do enjoy wasting time with my friends. Recently I have experimented with other drugs. I can't believe I did it either. I do not know what has happened. A few years ago I was the ideal kid every parent wanted. Now it seems my parents (I know they still love me) but are even disappointed in me. I just keep getting kicked like a sad dog and I am never getting up. I cannot even get a girlfriend now even though many are attracted to me. After being hurt so much by my last girlfriend (left me for someone else) I can't tell anyone how I feel about them. I lack so much confidence. I meet amazing girls but I get attached so quick and rely on the girl for happiness. This is probably why they all end up losing interest in me. This last girl is everything I ever wanted but I lack so much confidence and I keep chasing after her that I believe that she has no interest in me anymore. I also am the nicest guy and treat girls like gold. This may also be a key to my problems and why my last girlfriend played me. It pisses me off because I was raised to treat others how you want to get treated.

 

I just feel so terrible right now. I just needed to write.

[sidehop]

Have you tried talking to a counselor or seek professional help? As much as you may think you've let yourself down and your family thinks of you differently, they still love you. You can change yourself any time...you just need the right reason and go for it. Hanging out with your friends now is probably the first step to think about...you have to surround yourself with the good things...good people...good environment.

 

Don't try to change everything at once. I wish you the best & hopefully you'll gain the same confidence the self you loved.

[gstylez07]

You just put my life into words...

 

 

I am in the exact same situation as you right now....i feel for you.

 

I dont know much to say, if I did I guess I wouldnt be having these problems either. Hit me up if you wanna talk man.

[joseph_hope]

I gstylez07, I tried to send a private msg to you but it didnt work. I am going to try to change my life around. It is going to be hard but if you have any ideas please share them with me. Thank you all for the support.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

I feel you on this.

 

Once upon a time, there was a girl who did fantastic in school, hung out with the most elite academics we had in school (and I went to a special school for bright kids..so they were CLEVER!), wanted to be a doctor, did voluntary work, never drank...everything.

Then it all went wrong, I spiralled into depression and a lot of other things..happened. And Im still adjusting..I now go to a college in the roughest part of my area (by choice ,kinda..long story), Im in midst of my 2nd breakdown..but what Im trying to say is, life throws us this stuff to put us on to other paths for a while (like you with the *losers*) and we can learn a lot...when this has passed, you might find you appreciate stuff a lot more and are more in tune with how the world works than if youd followed *the more expected route*.

 

In meantime, coounselling is a must because you CANNOT move forward whilst still on weed. honestly.

[joseph_hope]

I know I have to stop smoking. Today is day 1. People have already called to hang out and I just did not answer. I just went for a run instead, and that really felt good. I am going to just say no and see how long I can last. I will let you know. I seen pictures today from when I was younger. I looks now like I just lost my "glow" if you know what I mean. I stay up way to late and eat at the wrong times. I cannot just jump back into being an A student. I think if I quit the weed my motivation will slowly come back and same with my social skills. I used to be able to talk to any girl at anytime and now I feel awkward even around my parents. I'm trying to make a real change.