Mornings are tough

[pedro]

Hi everyone

 

I find the mornings really tough, especially if you don't have to go to work. I find myself thinking about my ex and I really have the urge to call her. I called her yesterday morning and it was not good. NC is definitely the way to go, but I am not strong enough for that. I contacted her more times than I can remember after saying to myself...NC! Ugh, will I ever learn?

 

How do others cope when the first thought of the day after you wake up is that of you ex?

 

Thanks

[Esmeralda]

Make plans on days you don't work. It doesn't matter what, just do something. Go out for a jog, join a club, league, etc. Get a hobby.

Nc is definitely the way. Why would you want to call her? Wouldn't you rather she call you because SHE wants to talk to you? At the very least, you've gained her respect if you don't contact her.

[ElektraHere]

Hi Pedro,

 

The only way your mornings will get better is if you keep up NC. I always found that evenings were my toughest times. Don't beat yourself up we are all human and all make mistakes.

 

If you have the urge to call her get online and come here and vent. At least you will get out what you want to say and will not have broken NC.

 

It will get easier my friend you just have to give it time. How long has it been since you broke up?

[xblondyx]

My first thought ALWAYS used to be the ex. What i did, was do something. Keep busy.

I went out with friends and family. Read books, watch movies. Get out of the house and keep your mind off the ex.

 

Also, to keep NC, delete her number from your phone, delete her off instant messenger lists and just don't try and contact her.

 

The urges will go, you will feel stronger soon. You'll wake up one morning and your first thought WON'T be her. I promise.

 

Stay strong.

[blender]

okay so you called her, now let that go, and start over again by taking care of YOU. I know just how you feel, it's been awhile for me of NO CONTACT and first thing in the morning I think of my ex and yeah the weekends are always tough. But one day at a time, try not to call, even if you wait an hour till the "feeling passes" sometimes we really believe if we "just call them" we can get some kind of "fix" some kind of "hold" on them. Well it doesn't work, but yet we trick ourselves into believing this and then we follow the "urge" to contact and then that "yukky feeling" washes over us.

 

For today, just for today, do NOT call her, do this one day at a time, and you will get a little stronger with each passing day, remember she will think of YOU MORE if you are not around, and not calling. I finally stopped contact with my ex, and it was so painful to just "let go" and I never heard from him, but I did feel "better" because I had finally made a "choice" to take control over the one thing I had any power over and that being, My ACTIONS. I kept telling myself, "today I will not call, but maybe tomorrow I will" I did this day to day.. that's all I had the strength for... but try to practice that the self respect and discipline of taking this time to make yourself better, believe me if you simply stop contacting her, she will eventually call....let her go for now, just for today, one day at a time... improve yourself so when you do see her again you have something wonderful to say about yourself, with or without her in your life.

 

You will get through this, you will just have to be "sad" for a bit, that's part of life, if you can "accept" that these feelings are inevitable in all our lives, then you can move from one day to the next and get stronger... We've all been there, and I have to say, I could barely breathe at one point, because my heart was so broken... yeah it hurts like hell, but it's all for a reason.. don't look to long in the rearview mirror, you might crash, look ahead and know that wonderful things will be waiting for you.

 

Keep venting here, we all have been there, so ask any questions and hang in there, theses "feelings" will pass, they are "feelings" not "facts"... so "let go" and trust that destiny has a plan for you.

[Pikey1972]

Pedro, I know exactly what you mean and can sympathise: mornings were definitely the worst time for me too - my ex was the very first "thing" that would pop into my head.

 

Whenever I felt down in the morning, I'd get up as soon as possible (try not to stay in bed too long as you'll procrasternate), have breakfast and get out of the house / stay busy.

 

I found weekends the worst, as that's when we spent most of our time together. Since the break-up, I've joined a few new walking / cycling clubs to keep myself busy and meet new people. I found this quite difficult at first as I wasn't in the right frame of mind, but as the months go on I'm beginning to rediscover my confidence and sense of self. And I've made some new friends and have a less "blinkered" view of the world around me - rather than focus on just one person, I'm learning to focus on all the people around me, which can only be a good thing

 

It will get easier over time, trust me!

 

Take care, and keep us posted,

 

Pikey

[deejay74]

pedro, just like with what the others have been saying, i know what you are feeling. mornings are the toughest, especially if your ex was in bed with you a lot.

 

i can tell you that it will subside over time.

 

the worst days for me where the weekends cuz i didn't have to get up and go to work, i had the ability to say in bed as long as i wanted. the longer i stayed in bed, the more i thought about things. listen to the people here when they say get up immediately and start doing something. get out of the house, really! staying in only makes things worse, trust me, i have done it.

 

what helped me was to spend weekends at friends' houses. that really helps because when you wake up, you're not alone and then you can hang out with your friend(s) and get breakfast or do something with them the next day.

 

again, i know how you feel. i've lost many hours of valuable sleep in the early morning hours and it really sucks. it has gotten better, i still think about it now and then but the intensity of feelings do subside. i am not quite 100% over it, but it is manageable now.

[robowarrior]

Replace your ex with a new love in your life, that's the only way to forget about a lost love.

[pedro]

Thanks everyone. Good advice.

 

We were together for 5 years, engaged, and she broke it off 6 weeks ago. I would love to forget her by starting another relationship, but it wouldn't be fair to the other girl. I have to heal. I'm afraid it will be a long, tough road.

 

I know that NC is the best way to go, but it is hard. She wants to be friends, but I don't think it is possible. I we still chat on MSN and play an online game together. It's no wonder I am not healing.

 

I'll end the MSN, online games and start NC. Let's see how long it lasts

[Diggitydave]

I thought i was the only one with rough mornings. For the first 3 hours i don't feel so hot. As the day goes on I kinda liven up...a little. I thank God that I am able to even get out of bed. Thank you Lord, without you I am literally nothing.

 

David

[majord23]

The morning's are absolutely the worst...especially if you suspect you have been dreaming about an ex (even if you can't remember the dream).

 

There's a song called 'October Grey' which sums it up perfectly:

 

"It's been awhile

And still I remember,

The smile you kept for me

 

Lately I have missed you,

And It hits me in the morning,

When I'm cold"