enigmaz_Barbie Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 Hey everyone! I was wondering, how do you get to know a person!? Im going to bible studies at my chruch and Im starting to like this guy there. He seems really nice, we dont know eachothers names but we always smile and say hi to eachother, if im in a group of people he will say to everyone but he looks directly at me. The tricky part is that he actually looks older than me, im estimating at least mid 20s (25/26). Im being realistic about this, Im sure he doesnt think he will end up with a girl 6 years younger than him, but then again... What do you think I should do? Link to comment
princessdi75 Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 just start talking to him!!! don't worry about age, don't even ask right away if it's not a big deal, looks can be deceiving. My bf is 25 and I'm 19, and it's really not a big difference. He was a little weirded out by it at first, i think, because his little brother is actually a year older than me!! But he got past it. Just ask him his name, and let it go from there. Link to comment
enigmaz_Barbie Posted March 17, 2006 Author Share Posted March 17, 2006 Awesome! Thanks for that. Its alittle hard asking his name, im really shy. =( Link to comment
annie24 Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 Hi - it's not a big deal. I don't think 19 and 25 is bad at all. I've had several boyfriends who were *exactly* 6 years older than me! In certain cultures, they think that the perfect age for a wife is half the man's age, plus 7 years. So, half of 25 is 12.5, then 12.5 + 7 is 19.5. That's you!!! Just go up, talk to him. Maybe ask him a question like, "where did you get that tie? It's great - I'd like to get one like that for my dad for his birthday." See, it's not too pushy, but it's opening the conversation and you're introducing yourself. good luck! Link to comment
BillyJean714 Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 In my experience, age was a factor when I was your age. I dated a guy 8 years older than me when I was 19 close to 20. To be honest, it was a gap- only because of the stages that we were in our life. If I was at the age that I am now, then that would be different. You have to take age into consideration. It does play a major affect- especially when you're going to hang out with his friends who will be about the same age, if not older. For me, I was still young, in college, while he was settling into his own professional career. For him, he was ready to settle down. That's not a bad thing, but to me, it seemed like he was settling down because his friends were settling down- so he had this urgency to. Doesn't mean that this guy's in the same boat, but just make sure that you guys are in the same stage together. Otherwise, if you still have school to finish (maybe you don't, some people don't and that's what they want) and if he doesn't, then it could be a problem. It will somewhat be a bit straining, realistically, because your focus is different. Get to know him just to get to know what he's all about for now. Take it casually- keep it innocent. Link to comment
Kevin T Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 I don't think 6 years is a big deal. I would have no problem dating someone 18, as long as we got along well, there was a mutual attraction there and she was my type. I'd be leary about meeting people through a Bible study though. There's nothing wrong with it, of course, but in my personal experience, it's just not a good place to meet people. Just my two cents, don't let it bother ya. (I would still encourage you to go for it, so just ignore me.) lol Link to comment
enigmaz_Barbie Posted March 18, 2006 Author Share Posted March 18, 2006 hehe, Thanks everyone who replyed to my post. I really appricate it =) Link to comment
Lily04 Posted March 18, 2006 Share Posted March 18, 2006 I'm going out with a guy who's 27 and I'm 21. We are in different stages of life -- he's finishing up his MBA and looking into securing jobs now, whereas I'm still in my 3rd year of undergrad, and will be in school for 2 more years. I don't know how the 'different stages' thing will pan out as we just started dating, but I hope it won't pose too much of a problem... I'd consider myself mature and am intending to go to law school after undergrad so I also have professional ambitions. Our goals and interests are the same, so I don't think the age gap will constitute too much of a difference or pose much of a problem. If there's a significant *maturity* gap then there could be a problem, but hopefully this won't be the case. I have also had guys in their 30s attracted to me, and one 31-year-old asked me out last year when I was 19!! I found that too much, and although we had some similar interests... I just wasn't attracted to him. I'm not sure where the 'cut-off' age for me is, but it's mostly a mix of physical attraction, maturity & intelligence that does it. If a guy is mature & intelligent at 21 and we have a good connection, I'll date him, although honestly that's not likely to happen... I've always been attracted to guys around 23-27, and they're usually the only ones I'll date. I look older than I am (around 23/24) though so maybe that's why they usually hit on me as well... Link to comment
petepete Posted March 18, 2006 Share Posted March 18, 2006 6 years isn't really much of a difference, even 10 or 12 years I think wouldn't make a lot of differnce unless it is the woman who is older and you want to have children. This is because of a womans biological clock. Men can still have children at 60. Be careful though, many older men see woman around your age gullable and nieve and will take advantage. I am certainly not saying to expect him to be like this but you should be sure that he likes you for you and not for your age. Some men date much younger woman to make themselves feel more verile and younger and see sex as sort of a conquest. Link to comment
k2004myway Posted March 18, 2006 Share Posted March 18, 2006 6 years isn't that bad. I know people who are happily married with 10.5 years difference (31 and 20 is when they got married). I'd allow yourself to get into conversations with him and see what happens. Let him get to know who you are. Link to comment
Lily04 Posted March 18, 2006 Share Posted March 18, 2006 Yeah. My parents' age difference is around 8 years and although they're not the perfect couple now... they loved each other back then enough to get married. It's certainly possible... Link to comment
Kevin T Posted March 18, 2006 Share Posted March 18, 2006 Hell, my parents have an 11 year age gap. But they're a bad example since they're divorced. lol Of course, it wasn't the age gap that killed their 12 year marriage. (I'm not saying though; too personal to discuss here...) Link to comment
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