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petepete

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Everything posted by petepete

  1. i am 27 . this happens all the time . i have to get over my shyness but dont know where to start
  2. I have already got a little wave from a girl in a local food court. it was when i was stretching with my hands up and i didn't realise she was waving at me until after . i smiled at her then looked away, i was very deppressed that day. It was about a week ago now . what should i do
  3. thanks for the advice cabagge 1. I think I would be too scared of a girl reacting to "hello Beautiful" in a bad way.
  4. it seems that when i notice a girl looking at me that seems to like me she looks away when i catch her and i sort of do the same. i want to talk to them or look into their eyes but it seems they are looking away so i can perv at them which i am uninterested in doing. what should i do instead of looking away ? (very inexperienced)
  5. OK Mystic anyone who has ever believed that there is any sort of communication besides the words you speak is totally delusional and you certainly can't feel any sort of love someone without knowing their name. Name is the most important thing when it comes to feelings of love . Me personally I am detered by the letter C. If a girl has that letter anywhere in her name I'm turned off instantly. You are absulutely brilliant Mystic and we who believe differently to you are all totally delusional. Your the only one who has any sanity please save us from ourselves and our delusions. pS . Thanks for your rudeness. I really appreciate it and it is quite neccescary.
  6. petepete, what's wrong with being physically AND mentally attracted to someone? It's not wrong to be physically and mentally attracted to someone but I am looking for someone to have children with a few years from now and if your looking for a long term relationship espescially where children are involved I believe physical attraction is irrevelant and should be ingnored to the best of ones ability. I want to look good for my soul mate but I don't think that the way to find her is to look around for who attracts me sexually and who is attracted to me sexually. It's not so much an issue of whats wrong but rather it is about what I feel is most right. Always willing to listen to other peoples opinions and what I feel is most right could change. But does that mean that if you want to really appreciate a woman's intellect it's best to stop talking to her? No, but you certainly need to stop looking at her physical form and stop thinking of her as a piece of meat.
  7. Eye contact is definitely a more possitive sign if your looking for a potentially long term relationship. It shows that he is interested and recpectful of you and not just attracted sexually. Sexual attraction can not ever keep a relationship together in the long term. I find it very offensive, disrespectful and not the least bit flattering when a woman is "checking out my body". It is much more flattering to have parents try to set me up with their daughters because I know that it is not because of pretentious reasons. I walk around with my shirt open sometimes when it is hot and look for the women who don't check out my body. Be careful that this guy isn't just using eye contact as a seduction technique but it sounds sounds like he is interested in you as a person and just being polite and respectful. I must dissagree with Anon Presense, I think that if he doesn't make eye contact with other women and looks at their breasts, butt, legs etc. than he is probably just trying to seduce you by making you think he likes you for you. If any guys out there want to learn to see beyond the physical form more I strongly suggest going to a strip club regularly. The first few woman you may not be able to help looking at their private parts but after that you will find yourself getting bored of their bodies and start just looking at their eyes. Be warned though I have had strippers get offended when they are dancing with their vagina in my face and I'm looking at their eyes. If you are going to just go there and look at the woman as pieces of meat it will be ineffective.
  8. Sounds like your scared of putting your heart out there and getting hurt. If he is really shy he make may be like me waiting and hoping you will ask him out. Maybe you could just ask him if he would like to go to see a movie or something together sometime and go from there. Sounds like your love life has been on hold for the last couple of years so you definitely need to find out soon whether he is interested in a b/f g/f relationship. Just ask him out and either way it will be a possitive. If he says yes great you can find out if your suited to b/f g/f relationship, if he says no it's his loss and you can finally move on and look for the love you deserve. I think you are just a very loving and emotional person with low self-esteem. None of these things should be any problem for a nice guy. The low self-esteem is probably because people have been cruel to you in the past and this is some thing wrong with the people who have been cruel to you and not something wrong with yourself. Many extremely weak people are cruel to others because someone has been cruel to them and or are trying to make themselves feel better. If you need a bit more information about how he feels about you before you ask him out ask his friends to find out for you and perhaps try just looking into his eyes to give you an idea of how he feels. good luck with everything 1:
  9. You neeed to ask him out as soon as possible if you are worried about this possibility getting away from you. just wait until you are alone ask him if he would like go out for a coffee sometime then give him your number to arrange something so as to keep personal matters short at work. He may be worried about co-workers walking up and overhearing him talking personally. You must act before someone else does especially if other women at work know that you like him. If he really is a nice guy then you coming on too strong will not put him off in the slightest, he should be happy with your openness in letting him know how you feel. I am very shy with women because I have been hurt a lot in the past and I flirt with women and look in their eyes hoping they will ask me out. I think why is it up to me to make the first move. If he is in a managerial role or higher up the company than you he could be in lot of trouble professionally if he makes the first move. If a women in a managerial role asked a man out it would probably not be bad at all for her carreer because it is assumed that she is sincere whereas a man would be thought to be a player.It's not like your asking for sex or marriage, your just asking him out to get to know him better. If he is not interested at least you will know and can move on and find the love that you deserve. If he has someone he shouldn't be touching you when talking to you unless he is a player. Be careful of this because if he has recently moved he may not have been found out yet. You sound a little vulnerable and men who are players look for this to take advantage. Good luck with everything, you sound like a beautiful person.
  10. I would just email him and be as open and honest as you possibly can about how you feel and what you want from him and what you want for your future and ask him to please do the same. Hopefully this should end the confusion which may be happening on both sides. If you would still like to be friends if he isn't interested in a b/f g/f relationship then tell him this in your e-mail. If you are very open and honest with him and he does not return this he isn't worth having anyway. I would ask him if he has a fear of commitment and to exploain why he said " I prefer dating because there is no pressure". Perhaps it is because of a bad experience in the past. Basic Froidian psychology is to bring the start of a problem out in the open and talk about it in order to envoke healing. perhaps he is just a player, if he is a real friend he will tell you this if you ask. You need to know whats going on because it sounds like you really like him a lot maybe even love him but you can have friends who you love a lot but were never meqant to be b/f g/f. If you have mutual friends who are women I would ask them for advice about him. He probably did know when you had a boyfriend either from mutual friends or perhaps just from looking into your eyes. I feel I know more about someone by looking in their eyes for 30 seconds than talking with little eye contact for 2 hours or more. good luck with everything.
  11. 6 years isn't really much of a difference, even 10 or 12 years I think wouldn't make a lot of differnce unless it is the woman who is older and you want to have children. This is because of a womans biological clock. Men can still have children at 60. Be careful though, many older men see woman around your age gullable and nieve and will take advantage. I am certainly not saying to expect him to be like this but you should be sure that he likes you for you and not for your age. Some men date much younger woman to make themselves feel more verile and younger and see sex as sort of a conquest.
  12. I am certainly not delusional that I am very attractive physically. I had at least five girls tell me You're hot, georgeous, beautiful while out dancing last night. I am told these things regularly. maybey these are girls I should ask for casual sex. Someone also suggested last night lesbians that like to use men for sex sometimes. I think casual sex is not always immoral and the reason I go to strip clubs sometimes is actually so that I get bored with seeing women naked and thereforeeee will not be interested in looking at a womans body when out looking for love. I think the eyes are the window the soul and I often feel I know more about someone by looking into their eyes for 30 seconds than I would from 2 hours of conversation without eye contact. I don't see how my standards could be too high because there is at least 2 women that I have met which meet my standards only they live a very long way away from me. I think that many people don't have high enough standards when looking for a partner to have children with and this often results in an unhappy family which breaks up prematurely usually resulting in the children being hurt. I think that before having children people should be sure that they will be happy to spend the next 20 years at least together through good times and bad. I love my children even though they are not yet concieved and have a lot of respect for myself, this is why I am so "picky" Scotcha.
  13. I definitely do like girls that show that they are interested but not in a sleazy and pretentious way ie. bending over to try to make me look at your body. Just talk to me and be very honest and nice and I will be interested in a relationship of love.
  14. I am still obviously still thinking with my "head and heart"" otherwise I would just go out and folow my sexual instincts without any care or consideration of who I might hurt.
  15. You sound very shallow. there is definitely more types of attractiveness than physical unless you only want relationships based on sex. I am a very attractive man. I had at least five women tell me "you are hot, georgeous, beautiful etc. last night dancing. If I noticed that you were dating and or being nice to men who seem obviously less attractive physically I would be attracted to you but knowing that you are very pretentious I would not want anything to do with you except maybe casual meaningless sex no matter if you looked like a supermodel. If I saw you being cruel to a nice guy I wouldn't even be interested in sex. You need to think about what you are really looking for and how to go about finding it. If you try to find someone based on their looks don"t expect them to have what you want on the inside. Expect your heart to be broken and to be let down and blame no-one but yourself.](*,) ](*,) ](*,) ](*,)
  16. I didn't want to lose my virginity until I found someone I was in love with and felt I could spend the rest of my life with. I had many women try to seduce me before I lost my virginity at a time of great volnerability including at least one woman who tried to seduce me that I really liked and wanted to get know better. For me I am much more attracted to women for who they are rather than their looks. When I first look at a woman I will go straight to their eyes and nothing else interests me when looking for love peryhaps you should look for this in men if you want to find someone who trulty loves you for you. Many woman seem to be offended when they like me and bend over in front of me and I don't look. You shouldn't do this sort of thing in the first place I think it just attracts people for the wrong reasons. You say that he was in a relationship for 8 years and has also been married. Sounds like he is much older and many men see sex as a conquest espescially with a woman who is younger. I choose to think with my head and my heart and to ignore what my sexual organs tell me. If he truly loved he wouldn't have made the choices that he did. You may still love him and he probably knows this and will try to use this to get what he wants. kick him to the curb unless you want to be hurt more. ](*,) ](*,) ](*,) ](*,) Good luck with future relationships.
  17. You are tottaly missunderstanding me by assuming things which I am yet to explain. I am and always have been much more attracted to women for who they are on the inside and are more interested in getting to know women on a personal level. I had thought for years that the body type that I was attracted to was that of my first love (skinny and small breasts) until met a woman with large breasts that was very beautiful on the inside. I am looking for true love so I can find the right person to have children with in a few years time but I think that being very horny and sexually frustrated may cloud my judgement. I do not want to have sex with women who I am looking for love with because I think lust is often mistaken for love especially with people who haven't had much sex (I am almost 26 and I have only had sex with one woman four times for 20 MIN with her on top). I did not say anywhere in my post that I am picky about casual sex. The women who try to seduce me that I choose not to have sex with it is either because they have been nasty {which is actually my biggest turn-off) or because they seem to be in love with me. I have never taken advantage of a woman and I hope I never will. I think that to have sex sex with a woman who is in love with me when I am not in love with them is to take advantage and is verry wrong (am I right here ?). Did you not read my tittle Ta Ree Saw "Question of ethics". I am asking women for advice on how to pick women for casual sex because advice that I get from men is generally disrespectful and unethical ie. pretend you love them, get them drunk. You should "get over yourself" Ta Ree Saw and not always assume bad things about men based on other men you have met. I find it verry offencive. We are not all the same and we certainly cannot all be compared to farm animals. Why would any nice man even want to be around you let alone want to talk with you when you assume bad things about him from the start.
  18. I am a very ethically and morally bound. I believe I can change the world a little bit at a time by my actions but I probably put the world and "the greater good" first too much. I am very good looking, I have women tell me this often ( last night a stripper gave me thumbs up and said "your really hot ). I also know that many women are attracted to guys for being very nice. I have only had sex with one women because she came up to me and asked me to f**k her. I would like to have more sexual experiences but if a woman even just looks at me like she loves me than I cannot have sex with her unless I love her and also I can't pick up another woman who just looks at me like she wants sex while they are in the same room so as not to hurt first womans feelings. If a woman just gives me a dirty look or does anything that I think is ethically wrong than I am no longer interested in them and never give them a second chance but I think perhaps this is them " playing hard to get " sometimes. If a woman acts like she doesn't want to be around me even for a second than I won't want to be around her ever. They often try very hard to seduce me afer benig cruel to me but I remain strong and do what I think is right and just. This has made me extremely horny and sexually frustrated but I still don 't want to take advantage of anyone or do anything unethical. I had a girl recently tell me she has been a b** to me wants to have sex with me and doesn't care if I don't call her afterwards but I have been told I am amazing sexually so I think that she deserves the pleasure I can give her after she was a b** to me. Can anyone please tell me how I can get casual sex without hurting anyones feelings, taking advantage of anyone or doing anything unethical ? One of my friends would into a club and just aproach a woman and ask for sex from the start. He said that nine woman would say no and then one would say yes. Is this ethical and does it depend if they are drunk or not ? For me to feel right about this I would have to not look at her eyes before asking her for sex because I think many woman fall in love when they look at my eyes. Any advice from as many woman as possible would be much apreciated. THANK YOU
  19. definitely not a "long shot". I trust what my intuition tells me when I look into a persons eyes and I can see that she likes me. My main concern is to do what is most right and what will result in the least pain for everyone involved. If I ask her out is it presumed that I will not persue any relationships with other women from this point because I want to get to know a lot women in the next few years in order to find someone to bear my children ?
  20. I probably should have mentioned that I haven't spoken a to the girl I like other than "Can I get a jug of water please, thankyou". Should I just ask her out in the first sentence or just write my name and number down without having a conversation with her . How might she take such a "move" ?
  21. I am very shy and have never asked a girl out before (or been on a date) but many women seem attracted to me. I have been going to a large all you can eat restaurant about twice a week for 10 weeks and have found a mutual attraction with two of the workers ( evident from eye contact and body language ). One of these girls works replacing food and the other works behind a bar that you cannot sit in front of. The girl working with the food I am no longer interested because of english not being her first language and communication difficulties. The girl who works behind the bar and collecting glasses I am still interested in and she still seems attracted to me but I am worried that she will soon think that I am gay or not interested in a relationship with her if I don't do something ( I have had to look away because her eyes are saying "I love you" and I don't know what to do ). How do I get to know the girl behind the bar better while causing the least hurt to the girl working in food ? I am also concerned about bargirl getting in trouble with employer if she is seen talking to me for too long. I would like to get to know bargirl better without really making any committment because I don't know whether she is "the one" yet and I am extremely empathetic so I will feel any pain I cause her. Please help, any advice appreciated. thank you.
  22. Can't all attractraction be described as either LUST or LOVE ? You say you "definitely don't think it's love" Lilady, should I assume it is some type of lust ? More opinions please ?
  23. When I had only played guitar for about 6 months I fell in love in love with a japanese girl who's first words to me were "that was beatiful what you were playing on guitar. We were both working and staying at backpacker hostel didn't work out, long story. I was flattered by her saying this because I knew no songs and was just playing from my heart. An older female friend tried to set me up with her neice by bringing her over to my house and getting me to play guitar and sing for them and while as I was playing her attraction to me to increase tenfold and my female friend said "women can't resist a guy that plays guitar and sings". I know that I want to have children in few years time so I try extemely hard to ignore lust and look for qualities which I can love beacause love can last forever and my attaction for love is much stronger. I am looking for women who are thinking in a similar way for relationships not just women who are going after me because of lust. Are women attracted to men playing music because they are falling in love or are they just getting horny etc ? Does it make any difference what type of music ?
  24. I know how your feeling mate. I have been hurt so badly that I was seriously thinking becoming a monk. the main thing that extinguished that idea is my strong desire to raise a family. I too have become a recluse and have began heavily abusing canabis to try to escape my reality. This only makes me less motivated to deal with issues which I need to deal with in order to be happy and content. The only women I really see on a regular basis are the women in my block of units. One girl Theresa acted like she liked me for 3 months but I was very wary of showing any interest because was still in love with someone else and didn't want to lead Theresa on. When I eventually tried to talk to her she I tried to talk to her for more than 5 seconds she was extremely rude. I was standing outside her door wanting to explain my feelings and she abruptly said "I have to go out". She had been drunk that night but because she showed her potential to hurt me and I realised that I couldn't trust her with my heart the way I want to trust my soul mate(Dr phil phil says to only put enough of yourself so as not to leave yourself emotionally bankrupt however this to me would be like never fully letting myself be in love).The next day I acted in a similar way to her. I was talking to her friend on T's steps then Theresa walked out turned, smiled at me and asked what I said to which I replied "I was talking to Cathy". She then went inside and burst into tears screaming to her friend "what does he want me to do". I felt terrible but I knew it was best to let her know my feelings sooner rather than later. In the following months she went through many stages of flirting\hard to get , acting like she was in love with me\ignoring me. I know myself very well, and I knew I had done nothing wrong yet seemed really annoyed with me. I believe she was annoyed with me because I had not done anything about her previous advances. I believe that this may be the case with the woman you speak of. Most women seem to expect you to decide whether you like or not and/or to try to get into their pants very early in a relationship. I think a lot of unwise men can simply look at a woman's body and decide "thats the type of girl I would like as my girlfriend". It is very likely that she assumed that you were not acting verry keen was because of her looks and not because you have been hurt. There are lot women out there that would love to have a relationship with you. When you really think about it why wouldn't they want a guy that is nice and sensitive and is more interested in what sort of person they are than their looks or other pretentious crap the main problem they don't you usually see us for who we are at first because they expect us to be like some other men that they have met. Rather than looking at us with an open mind and trusting everything we do or say they usually have an their emotional guard up. If you would like to stay in touch to support each other etc. email removed . I have a song I composed which I hope can help give you the strength to try again. Keep your head up. The way a lot a lot of men treat women they should be ashamed of themselves. Be proud of who you are and all the best whatever you decide.
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