petepete

i am 27 . this happens all the time . i have to get over my shyness but dont know where to start

I have already got a little wave from a girl in a local food court. it was when i was stretching with my hands up and i didn't realise she was waving at me until after . i smiled at her then looked away, i was very deppressed that day. It was about a week ago now . what should i do

thanks for the advice cabagge 1. I think I would be too scared of a girl reacting to "hello Beautiful" in a bad way.

it seems that when i notice a girl looking at me that seems to like me she looks away when i catch her and i sort of do the same. i want to talk to them or look into their eyes but it seems they are looking away so i can perv at them which i am uninterested in doing. what should i do instead of looking away ? (very inexperienced)

OK Mystic anyone who has ever believed that there is any sort of communication besides the words you speak is totally delusional and you certainly can't feel any sort of love someone without knowing their name. Name is the most important thing when it comes to feelings of love . Me personally I am detered by the letter C. If a girl has that letter anywhere in her name I'm turned off instantly. You are absulutely brilliant Mystic and we who believe differently to you are all totally delusional. Your the only one who has any sanity please save us from ourselves and our delusions. pS . Thanks for your rudeness. I really appreciate it and it is quite neccescary.

petepete, what's wrong with being physically AND mentally attracted to someone? It's not wrong to be physically and mentally attracted to someone but I am looking for someone to have children with a few years from now and if your looking for a long term relationship espescially where children are involved I believe physical attraction is irrevelant and should be ingnored to the best of ones ability. I want to look good for my soul mate but I don't think that the way to find her is to look around for who attracts me sexually and who is attracted to me sexually. It's not so much an issue of whats wrong but rather it is about what I feel is most right. Always willing to listen to other peoples opinions and what I feel is most right could change. But does that mean that if you want to really appreciate a woman's intellect it's best to stop talking to her? No, but you certainly need to stop looking at her physical form and stop thinking of her as a piece of meat.

Eye contact is definitely a more possitive sign if your looking for a potentially long term relationship. It shows that he is interested and recpectful of you and not just attracted sexually. Sexual attraction can not ever keep a relationship together in the long term. I find it very offensive, disrespectful and not the least bit flattering when a woman is "checking out my body". It is much more flattering to have parents try to set me up with their daughters because I know that it is not because of pretentious reasons. I walk around with my shirt open sometimes when it is hot and look for the women who don't check out my body. Be careful that this guy isn't just using eye contact as a seduction technique but it sounds sounds like he is interested in you as a person and just being polite and respectful. I must dissagree with Anon Presense, I think that if he doesn't make eye contact with other women and looks at their breasts, butt, legs etc. than he is probably just trying to seduce you by making you think he likes you for you. If any guys out there want to learn to see beyond the physical form more I strongly suggest going to a strip club regularly. The first few woman you may not be able to help looking at their private parts but after that you will find yourself getting bored of their bodies and start just looking at their eyes. Be warned though I have had strippers get offended when they are dancing with their vagina in my face and I'm looking at their eyes. If you are going to just go there and look at the woman as pieces of meat it will be ineffective.

Sounds like your scared of putting your heart out there and getting hurt. If he is really shy he make may be like me waiting and hoping you will ask him out. Maybe you could just ask him if he would like to go to see a movie or something together sometime and go from there. Sounds like your love life has been on hold for the last couple of years so you definitely need to find out soon whether he is interested in a b/f g/f relationship. Just ask him out and either way it will be a possitive. If he says yes great you can find out if your suited to b/f g/f relationship, if he says no it's his loss and you can finally move on and look for the love you deserve. I think you are just a very loving and emotional person with low self-esteem. None of these things should be any problem for a nice guy. The low self-esteem is probably because people have been cruel to you in the past and this is some thing wrong with the people who have been cruel to you and not something wrong with yourself. Many extremely weak people are cruel to others because someone has been cruel to them and or are trying to make themselves feel better. If you need a bit more information about how he feels about you before you ask him out ask his friends to find out for you and perhaps try just looking into his eyes to give you an idea of how he feels. good luck with everything 1:

You neeed to ask him out as soon as possible if you are worried about this possibility getting away from you. just wait until you are alone ask him if he would like go out for a coffee sometime then give him your number to arrange something so as to keep personal matters short at work. He may be worried about co-workers walking up and overhearing him talking personally. You must act before someone else does especially if other women at work know that you like him. If he really is a nice guy then you coming on too strong will not put him off in the slightest, he should be happy with your openness in letting him know how you feel. I am very shy with women because I have been hurt a lot in the past and I flirt with women and look in their eyes hoping they will ask me out. I think why is it up to me to make the first move. If he is in a managerial role or higher up the company than you he could be in lot of trouble professionally if he makes the first move. If a women in a managerial role asked a man out it would probably not be bad at all for her carreer because it is assumed that she is sincere whereas a man would be thought to be a player.It's not like your asking for sex or marriage, your just asking him out to get to know him better. If he is not interested at least you will know and can move on and find the love that you deserve. If he has someone he shouldn't be touching you when talking to you unless he is a player. Be careful of this because if he has recently moved he may not have been found out yet. You sound a little vulnerable and men who are players look for this to take advantage. Good luck with everything, you sound like a beautiful person.

I would just email him and be as open and honest as you possibly can about how you feel and what you want from him and what you want for your future and ask him to please do the same. Hopefully this should end the confusion which may be happening on both sides. If you would still like to be friends if he isn't interested in a b/f g/f relationship then tell him this in your e-mail. If you are very open and honest with him and he does not return this he isn't worth having anyway. I would ask him if he has a fear of commitment and to exploain why he said " I prefer dating because there is no pressure". Perhaps it is because of a bad experience in the past. Basic Froidian psychology is to bring the start of a problem out in the open and talk about it in order to envoke healing. perhaps he is just a player, if he is a real friend he will tell you this if you ask. You need to know whats going on because it sounds like you really like him a lot maybe even love him but you can have friends who you love a lot but were never meqant to be b/f g/f. If you have mutual friends who are women I would ask them for advice about him. He probably did know when you had a boyfriend either from mutual friends or perhaps just from looking into your eyes. I feel I know more about someone by looking in their eyes for 30 seconds than talking with little eye contact for 2 hours or more. good luck with everything.

I am from Australia NJRon.

6 years isn't really much of a difference, even 10 or 12 years I think wouldn't make a lot of differnce unless it is the woman who is older and you want to have children. This is because of a womans biological clock. Men can still have children at 60. Be careful though, many older men see woman around your age gullable and nieve and will take advantage. I am certainly not saying to expect him to be like this but you should be sure that he likes you for you and not for your age. Some men date much younger woman to make themselves feel more verile and younger and see sex as sort of a conquest.

I am certainly not delusional that I am very attractive physically. I had at least five girls tell me You're hot, georgeous, beautiful while out dancing last night. I am told these things regularly. maybey these are girls I should ask for casual sex. Someone also suggested last night lesbians that like to use men for sex sometimes. I think casual sex is not always immoral and the reason I go to strip clubs sometimes is actually so that I get bored with seeing women naked and thereforeeee will not be interested in looking at a womans body when out looking for love. I think the eyes are the window the soul and I often feel I know more about someone by looking into their eyes for 30 seconds than I would from 2 hours of conversation without eye contact. I don't see how my standards could be too high because there is at least 2 women that I have met which meet my standards only they live a very long way away from me. I think that many people don't have high enough standards when looking for a partner to have children with and this often results in an unhappy family which breaks up prematurely usually resulting in the children being hurt. I think that before having children people should be sure that they will be happy to spend the next 20 years at least together through good times and bad. I love my children even though they are not yet concieved and have a lot of respect for myself, this is why I am so "picky" Scotcha.

I definitely do like girls that show that they are interested but not in a sleazy and pretentious way ie. bending over to try to make me look at your body. Just talk to me and be very honest and nice and I will be interested in a relationship of love.

I am still obviously still thinking with my "head and heart"" otherwise I would just go out and folow my sexual instincts without any care or consideration of who I might hurt.