BrokenHeartGirl Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 I'm 25 and I wrote an email to a Rock Star i have a crush on, have had a crush on him for years..I told him I did and sent a photo of myself,,I didn think he would reply but he did. I was so surprised. He even started instant messaging me, emailed me everyday. I couldnt believe he was giving me so much attention., I was flattered, so we talked on the phone for months, I finally went out to where he lives in LA, i visited my friend there, He called me like 5 times as soon as I got in and he sounded so excited to meet me,, He invited me out to some super glamorous celeb party the first night we met, So I met him there. I was happy, he was very happy and excited. We had a great time together. I spent the night with him-had sex. So I saw him one more time before i flew back home, This time when i got up the next day he was more distant to me and quiet. I dont understand why.. Anyway He emails me less now, i think he blocked me, an dhe doesnt call anymore. I feel so sad and I miss him. I just dont understand what went wrong? I guess he used me right? I just dont get how could he be so into me and then brush me off? I just feel awful and sad about the whole thing I feel like crying!!!!!!!! Maybe I should have told him how I felt about him? Maybe he thinks I dont like him that much? I just didn't want to come on so strong. Link to comment
coollady1957 Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 Hello. I am sorry you are hurting and sad over this. It appears that you have answered this question for yourself already. I seems to me that you were definitely used. He got what he wanted from you which was sex. A rock stars lifestyle is full of women that want to sleep with them, get to know them, spend time with them. etc. Probably not all rock stars are like this, but I feel that the majority of them are into just getting one thing. Their lives do not allow for much of a faithful or a steady one woman relationship. I am sorry that you were taken advantage of. I would suggest moving on and forget about him. Find some one that is close to where you live and does not live the rock star lifestyle. Link to comment
melrich Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 I think you should just put this one down to experience. Link to comment
BrokenHeartGirl Posted March 17, 2006 Author Share Posted March 17, 2006 Thanks Coollady. I know your right. I guess I felt he was for real in liking me. Since he gave me so much attention, invited me to a party, etc. But yea I got used. I didn't ask for much, I wanted to be his friend but I guess he does not want that. Oh well, I guess I will try to get over it somehow. Link to comment
Scout Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 How did you get his email? Just curious. Link to comment
BrokenHeartGirl Posted March 17, 2006 Author Share Posted March 17, 2006 it was on his website fo r his band Link to comment
Scout Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 And he actually answered you back? I never would have thought rock stars personally check email from their fan sites. Would presume that's something a publicist, fan club administrator or web admin would do for them. Link to comment
BrokenHeartGirl Posted March 17, 2006 Author Share Posted March 17, 2006 If you read my original post I tell what happened, yes I was surprised to that he wrote back and also pursued me,, Link to comment
annie24 Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 well, your question is how to get over him - the same way you would any other guy. get rid of stuff that reminds him of you (CDs, posters, pictures, etc). Try your hardest not to think about him. Spend time with your girlfriends. Get a new hobby. Get a puppy. Each day is easier than the last. good luck Link to comment
tylercdurden2004 Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 No offence (actually retract that). Your 25 and you couldnt see what would happen in a situation where you told a ROCK STAR you have a crush (really attracted) on him, sne thim a photo, you went out to see him (presuing you paid) had sex with him on the first night! No offence to ROCK STARS but they rock stars for a reason: They love the fast life (cars, wine and women). I just cant believe you couldnt see something like taht happening. Wow. Link to comment
BrokenHeartGirl Posted March 17, 2006 Author Share Posted March 17, 2006 Well we talked on the phone and on email for over a year so i didnt think he would brush me off like that. He did persue me,,, I know I contacted him but hes the one who emailed me everyday and called me.. Link to comment
tylercdurden2004 Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 If I email you for a year..... Link to comment
BrokenHeartGirl Posted March 17, 2006 Author Share Posted March 17, 2006 If a guy calls me and emails me everyday, I do get the impression that he likes me and is interested....... Link to comment
venus777 Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 that's horrible. crushes blind. and he called and wrote all the time. of course she thought it could be different. of course, having sex with him on the first night with him was a bad idea... i know it hurts, but DON'T just sit and blame yourself for it. He was half of the equation. And even if he IS a rock star it doesn't mean you couldn't give him the benefit of the doubt and trusted him... Link to comment
tylercdurden2004 Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 I guess I can only say that phone and email is not really the most effective way to get to know someone. Anything can be said with little effort or time. You slept with him on the first night and expected more. Its too bad but really what can u expect when you start off a realtionship professing "feeling" for someone you didnt even know. Would you walk up to a random man on the street and say I have a crush on you and expect things to be cool. I high school maybe. Just because you had a few posters and CDs of his doesnt make a strong realtionship to the point where you can profess your love. I think you got jaded and burnt. Learn the lesson move on. Again if I email you and call you for a year woudl you sleep with me on the first date? Link to comment
venus777 Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 but it is weird. it doesn't really make any sense. hmmm... have you ever asked him directly what was going on? did you ever say you just want him to tell you whats up? it sounds to me like there is more to the story than he just used you... Link to comment
venus777 Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 to her credit, LOTS of people have online relationships. i don't think it's fair to blame her for this. the guy is messed up in some way obviously. we don't know the whole story, just this little fragment of it. Link to comment
tylercdurden2004 Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 WAIT a sec. Online relationship? She preofessed her love right off the bat! What relationship online or not do you know that worked when the first thing one person said to the other was professing their love?!!! In high school yes! And yes online reltionship do work sometimes thats not the issue. The issues are: 1) She started off by professing her love. 2)She used a medium that required little effort and no face to face contact. 3) He is a ROCK STAR! Read the news and it doesnt take einstein to realize there is a higher percentage of debauchery in this crowd (again sorry ROCK STARS). *shaking head* Link to comment
BrokenHeartGirl Posted March 17, 2006 Author Share Posted March 17, 2006 I dont know why Tyler is being so sarcastic and rude. I came to this board not to have people make cutting or sarcastic remarks to me but give advice....... I never said I was in love with him, I said I liked him. Never professed my love to him. Theres a big difference. This wa snot some strange man on the street. I got to know him for over a year through phone and emails........... Venus- No i have not confronted him about it, you think I should? Link to comment
venus777 Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 they talked on the phone for months. that means they **communicated**. while people can deceive others on the phone, email and even YES in PERSON, i don't think you can just blame her for not seeing it. maybe he is an Ahole. But she apparently talked to him and felt otherwise. It was a mistake, but it doesn't mean she had to see it ahead of time. People believe in the good of people. And JUST because he is a rock star doesn't mean that he sleeps with everyone. In **fact** I've dated a musician that was very much a one woman man. So... you can't judge people like that. And so there. All three of your points I disagree with. Why don't you go to some other thread and knock someone else down! Link to comment
venus777 Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 I ABSOLUTELY think you should confront him. I think you deserve an answer. Tell him you want to know the truth. Did he just use you? Tell him, you feel like after all that time you deserve some honesty. He may not give it to you, but I think you should be direct with him. I prefer that method. People on this site only get a very small precentage of the story and make comments based on their personal experience. So while it's helpful, you are the only one that knows the real deal. So look in your heart and find the truth there. Do YOU think he used you, or do you feel like it's an odd enough thing that it deserves a discussion? Link to comment
annie24 Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 Well, since you have been communicating with him for so long, just call him up and ask him what happened. And if he doesn't respond, remember, no answer is your answer! Link to comment
tylercdurden2004 Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 You eemailed a complete stranger professing your "attraction" to them right off the bat. What would you think if some guy did this to you? If some girl who I didnt know from a hole in the ground emailed me and told me she had a crush on me I would think two things. Who is this crazy .... and second hell maybe I can get some. People are neither good nor evil. Doesnt mean you should live your life sheltering yourself from harm but also doesnt mean you should present yourself totally to someone you have NEVER met. Meeting someone in the flesh is absolutley important for a realtionship to move to a higher level. So if thats what you were looking for meeting him in person before giving yourself away to him might have been a good idea. Its great venus taht you dated a musician. But a musician and a ROCK STAR are two totally different things. I have lote of friends who play instruments but I would never consider them ROCK STARS. It takes a different type of mentality to be ROCK STAR than a weekend muscian. Again raed the news doesnt take much tiem to figure out what most ROCK STARS have on there plate. I do not disagree with the fact that he is an ahole. He used you and obviously doesnt care about your feelings. But at 25 you should show some maturity in approaching a relationship. Link to comment
venus777 Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 he is actually pretty well known and has done work with some really famous groups!! and has been in movies. so what you got to say to that. it's true. Link to comment
tylercdurden2004 Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 Good for you! When I think of ROCK STARS i think of Axl Rose, Gene Simmons etc. Not all rock stars are aholes but you know they live life in teh fast lane with all the apples in teh garden of eden available to them at teh drop of a hat. I guess I would use a more cautious approach when dealing with such people. My bad. Link to comment
Recommended Posts