What makes you want to?

[Northern Raccoon]

what makes people want to commit suicide?

[Mrocza]

 

 

Plenty more not to.

[Dako]

Not wanting to live anymore.

[Moon Goddess]

Wanting to commit suicide, rejection,hate towards myself, the feeling of being worthless and that my life has no meaning. Just the thought of how the world would be if i didn't exist. I guess that's what used to drive me towards the thought of suicide

[Tigris]

Being in unendurable pain although I'm on the most painkillers I can be! Being a burden to the person who had to look after me in the past, e.g. not being able to feed myself, speak, read or write at times.

 

Although I'm going through a stage where I'm in a lot of pain (it's winter here and very cold) I sometimes have times where I'm in remission. I have no intention of suicide because I have something to live for, my Fiancee who is the most wonderful woman in the world.

 

Find something good that you can achieve or focus on to make you determined to stay alive! I know it is hard and at times I struggle and I cry but then I think of her and it seems all worthwhile.

 

Good luck everyone and take care of yourselves.

[Moon Goddess]

True I have found reason to live as well for my bf Dreg whom I know cares about me, and for my Granma (who is gone now) but I know she wants to see me alive, her dream was to see me as a lawyer, married with a family happy. For her and for the love of my bf I stay alive because in the end it it will be worth it and I know that he loves me and would suffer if I were to go.

[WildChild]

Being tired.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

Deep, daily depression and the fact nothing gives me any real pleasure anymore.

[Tesseract_Witch]

what makes people want to commit suicide?

 

 

When it is no longer a want, but a need--the "only" way to solve things for the "best."

[AnotherBrokenDoll]

When the pain gets unbearable, when you realise that you are always going to be alone in the world, the fact that not even my family loves me so why would anyine else, when you screw up so badly and cant fix it, when you finally see that people dont really like you, they like the person you pretend to be! Oh and when you're in your room crying cuz your family yelled at you and all you can here is them complaining about you and wanting to kick you out, that really hurts, when you think back and realise you are only here because some stupid guy raped your mother, and worse when you realise that no matter how much you try to hate him you cant cuz all you want is to know him and for him wipe away the tears when you cry and hold you tight and protect you, and more so you just want him to love you!

[timboo]

being a pathetic gutless loser who is never going to achieve anything in his life, get married or reproduce.

not being able to stop thinking about a girl who broke your heart. becoming a scary, obsessional loner who is totally detached from reality.

come on death help me out.

[Mrocza]

you know timboo...that's your outlook, the same as it's your life.

 

You can change both.

[Bethany]

Timboo, this is very important ....do you feel like you are in one world and everyone else is in another, like you're suffering behind a glass wall or in a bubble of pain?

[katie831]

like everything you do seem to go wrong, that no one actually likes you and the one person you have ever loved doesn't want to be with you. How you feel detached from everyone else and that you are looking in while they all get on with their lives.

You wonder if it was your fault about what you dad did to you and if anyone else knows and maybe that is the reason you feel unloved?

just feeling constantly down and that it will never change.. wow i feel depressed now

[Outcast-Angel]

not being able to stop the constant flood of horrid thoughts of hate and self-loathing. not being able to tell what's real when i'm alone, and having to watch if others react to things to be able to tell if i'm hallucinating or if there really are bugs, and blood and snakes and severed body parts in the streets and on the floor, or on the walls. hurting all the time, for no apparent reason, and that stupid hollow feeling. or just being so tired, and afraid of everything that i can't function. or not being able to look my nearest & dearest in the eyes because all i can think about is how my wrists are just itching with the need to slit them.

[Tesseract_Witch]

being a pathetic gutless loser who is never going to achieve anything in his life, get married or reproduce.

not being able to stop thinking about a girl who broke your heart. becoming a scary, obsessional loner who is totally detached from reality.

come on death help me out.

 

 

Oh, yes, you have the outlook of an realist, alright; ironic, though, reality would show you that death is only one more part of the never-ending circle you so devoutly believe in. In short, you are trying to speed up the cycle by one more loop around. Is this some sort of race the realists have? I don't understand it.

[Kevin T]

The thought of dying alone; being unable to attain that which I seek. Feeling ugly/unattractive and worthless also don't help. Lately, I've been having such a hard time of even getting out of bed in the morning... or afternoon rather. There's just nothing out there for me. I don't see the point of getting up out of bed to face the world anymore. It's just too defeating and depressing most of the time.

 

I also get the feeling that most people would not care less if I were dead, and that's also depressing. I have no one whom I am close to, not my parents, not my friends, no one. I've been alone for almost 5 years now, and I see no end to it in sight. thereforeeee, suicide sounds pretty darn good at times like these. Not saying I'd do it right now or anything, but I've been thinking about it a lot lately. Basically I think: If I'll never be happy, why live in the first place, right?

[Bethany]

Kevin,

Wouldn't it be better to think: Ok, I'm feeling down today but things will change for me and I will try to get out in the world more often and find the things that ARE out there for me? And what can I do today to make myself feel good inside?

It's got to be better than all those depressing thoughts surely?

[Kevin T]

Kevin,

Wouldn't it be better to think: Ok, I'm feeling down today but things will change for me and I will try to get out in the world more often and find the things that ARE out there for me? And what can I do today to make myself feel good inside?

It's got to be better than all those depressing thoughts surely?

 

Yes, if that were true. However, I don't believe that it is. I used to be a really big optimistic, believe it or not, but now... well, I'm far from one. I hate my life and I feel like I'm running on borrowed time. If things keep up the way they have been as of these past couple years, I'm afraid I may have a nervous break down, or go insane... or worse. Believe me, the thought of taking my own life both scares and depresses me even more so, but at times, it feels like the best solution for everyone (especially for selfish me).

 

I do get out there in the world, but it's usually THEN when the most depressing thoughts come. So I find it's better to isolate myself as much as possible and not interact too much with the outside world. I only go to school (when I have to; even then I skip a lot), I'm not working at the moment, I don't go out with friends anymore, I stopped going to church, everything. I just want to go to sleep and never wake up. It's hard, because I never used to be this way. I'm well aware that I'm self-pitying, which is stupid and pathetic, but I don't know what else to do.

[Bethany]

Kevin,

Having been the 'place' you fear most, I can tell you that the reason you feel more depressed when you go out into the world is BECAUSE you stay in and don't go out with your friends anymore, and BECAUSE you have stopped going to church etc.

 

You're not stupid ot pathetic, your just isolating yourself which in turn makes you feel worse and IF you continue to hide away and not face up to your problems that you have with being depressed and hiding yourself away, you COULD very well end up in the place that you fear most. And believe me, you SHOULD be afraid.

[Dako]

My weakness is drinking, and it's under control.

For depression, isolation is worse than booze for me.

[TheHighwayMan]

I wouldn't do it here and now, but I am convinced that this life/world is not where I can realize my full potential. And sometimes when things start getting unbearable here it's tempting to think that one has the option to end it all and see what lies beyond...but again - it's not in my plans.

[Kevin T]

Kevin,

Having been the 'place' you fear most, I can tell you that the reason you feel more depressed when you go out into the world is BECAUSE you stay in and don't go out with your friends anymore, and BECAUSE you have stopped going to church etc.

 

You're not stupid ot pathetic, your just isolating yourself which in turn makes you feel worse and IF you continue to hide away and not face up to your problems that you have with being depressed and hiding yourself away, you COULD very well end up in the place that you fear most. And believe me, you SHOULD be afraid.

 

I agree... to an extent. I understand logically what you are saying, but it doesn't quite work like that. When I do get out there, I'm fine for a bit, but sooner or later, my mind wanders and I get depressed again. Or else I get down thinking whenever I am out because everywhere I go there are constant reminders of what I don't have that make me miserable. (I hate to blame something else for my misery, but there are things that do get to me, no matter what.) The thing I fear most is living the rest of my life alone/ dying alone (kind of the same thing). So, in a sense, I am already there... and that scares me enough as is.

[Bethany]

but it doesn't quite work like that. When I do get out there, I'm fine for a bit, but sooner or later, my mind wanders and I get depressed again. Or else I get down thinking whenever I am out because everywhere I go there are constant reminders of what I don't have that make me miserable.

 

Yes it does work like that Kevin. Can't you see from your own words that sonner or later you withdraw again for fear of being depressed again so you end up back in your own isolated world?

And IF you continue to do what you do, INSTEAD OF living with that depression and moving THROUGH that depression whilst you're out in the world, you may very well end making your own worst fear come true. So what if this or that happens? You're just talking yourself into a corner here Kevin and I hope you will see that eventually.

[darkness1235]

The hate towards myself, feeling worthless and meaningless, how better the world would be if I didn't exist. How things wouldn't ALWAYS go wrong if I weren't here. How better everybody's life would be,how the sadness would end, and how I would stop being and feeling miserable ](*,)