How can someone with a "boring" personality develop into an exciting person?

[samsoner]

Does anyone know what the steps are? I am now doing exciting things that I love (my job, camping trips, biking, some music) however my demeanor hasn't changed or improved. I've been told that I talk in a monotone, and at first I denied that but I agree that alot of other guys talk with more emotion and energy than I do. It's strange and unfortunate that I can't even force myself to "act out" with my speech. I believe that one reason I wasn't successful with the girls I tried to date is because I didn't show enough emotion in my personality which was supposed to translate that I really liked the girl I was dating and really wanted to be with her. Even some of the "quiet" guys I know manage to have relationships or a healthy sex life because when they're around someone they really like, they SHOW it.

[LostInMyThoughts]

Hang out with people that interest you, but have dynamic, vibrant personalities.

 

It's guarenteed to rub off on you.

[Derek]

I dunno the steps other than practice, practice, practice.

 

Off the top of my head I think:

Take drama/acting/improv classes to step outside your emotional comfort zone.

 

Take dancing lessons. Yes these are stereotypically "girly" interests but suck it up.

 

 

P.S. I would think hanging out with "dynamic" people would leave the original poster in the shadows compared to them. (since they are natural attention seekers)

[ElektraHere]

The only way to develop into an exciting person is to start living your life. I suggest you take a Speech class. You live in NYC there are TONS of acting classes, Speech or speaking classes, or for that fact just people watching. Get excited about your activities. You love them now really get psyched about them

[healinginnyc81]

It may be that you are afraid to show your true emotions. I had that problem for years where I would speak in sort of a monotone and didn't seem to be passionate about anything but I started trying to overdo it - overemphasize how I feel because I naturally tone down my expressions so when I try to overemphasize them it ends up coming accross as just normal emotions.

[princessdi75]

I really don't have any experience, but I would like to add that people rub off on me after awhile. If I hang out with someone that uses a certain phrase, I tend to start using it without realizing it, and sometimes even use it in front of that person - making me embarrassed that they might think i'm trying to "steal" their phrase!!! lol. I would say your best bet would just to socialize more. even online, you can do that. I tend to purposely spell things wrong to reflect my actual speech (such as "wanna"-lol) or i use quotations alot or bold or italicize. I like my personality to reflect even when online!!

[serve_the_people]

Join a debating club and debate with passion. Find something you are really passionate about (ie. death penalty, abortion, animal rights) and practice debating with lots of emotion in your voice. That might help.....

 

Have you tried salsa dancing????

[Celadon]

^^ All good ideas.

 

As a fellow "hidden emotions" person, I'd suggest spending time BY YOURSELF thinking and talking (out loud, to yourself) about the things you're doing that you love. Imagine scenarios in which someone asks you about the things you love, and find something interesting to say about each one of them! Imagine that person being really curious and enthusiastic about what you're saying. Sometimes I think we hide our emotions because we're afraid other people are going to judge us or not be interested.

 

I was told once that I speak in monotone too, and I agree that it's directly related to your emotions, or ability to express your emotions.

[AwdreeHpburn]

yep - not to repeat whatever one else is saying but I just want it noted that I agree.

 

But wanna say first, good for you for being willing to take a look at yourself and make some positive changes. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being monotone.

 

That said, improv classes are great for this type of thing. And, as someone already said, practice, practice, practice.....

[easyguy]

I find that listening to radio and TV talk show hosts can sometimes improve my personality, especially after listening to hours of someone like Al Franken. He's articulate, has a plethora of knowledge under his belt, and has his humerous side to him, all making his rants, stories, and raves more enjoyable to listen to.

 

That may not work for everyone, but I usually feel the urge to talk to people and get into deep discussions with people after being exposed to shows like that.