Found out he cheated...

[comppackage]

We broke up a month ago, and there were many signs that he was cheating... but I either ignored them, or believed his lies...

 

Now that I know for sure, would it make me feel better to let me anger out on him? Part of me wants him to know that I know he was betraying me, and that i'm not a fool... will this make me feel better or worse? I mean, it's not like he is going to tell me the truth now!!??

[kellbell]

Hi there,

 

I am sorry about your break-up and that you found out about his cheating. (((hugs)))

 

Ok...if I were in your situation, I would not contact him and tell him you know now. Plus, he will probably lie to your face again thus making things worse and cause you more pain. He is just going to feed you a line of excuses and so forth. Spare yourself the hassle, do not even bother wasting your time.

 

Something very similar happened to me, I dated a guy whom turned out to be a drug dealer, spread lies about me and what I supposedly said and did and cheated on me. Yikes. I was so angry and humiliated BUT I did not confront him about it. It just made me more thankful I am no longer with him and I am a firm believer in Karma. There is nothing I can do that would be enough than what Karma can do on its own.

 

My revenge is my success and happiness. Knowing I got out of that relationship clean and knew I did not do anything wrong is enough. I know you are itching to tell him you know but in honesty, whom cares if he thinks you are fool or not? All that matters is how you view yourself and how your friends and family feel about you..not some two-timing loser.

 

Take care of you, focus on your recovery. Come here a lot to vent...we are here for you and we are listening. Let us know how you are hanging in there.

[katefl24]

He will probably only continue to deny it. Pathological liars never give up, even when you have them nailed down with proof. That's how my ex was at least. I was like, "We're broken up, I know it for sure, people have come out of the woodworks telling me the truth now. Why bother denying it? And no matter how you protest/keep claiming your innocence, I know it isn't true." He still denied it, and it didn't make me feel any better. I don't think it would have made me feel any better if he had finally admitted it though either. The bigger thing was that I accepted that it was the truth, he was a liar and cheater, and I wasn't going to have to deal with that ever again.

[RayKay]

My guess is if he was lying before, he is unlikely to come out and tell the truth now....if he does, it may only be when he gets angry and uses them against you and in a sense "blame" you....I don't think THAT will make you feel better.

 

I think it's good you found this out in the sense it shows you whom he truly is, and confirms your gut feelings you had so in the future you may listen to them more, but I don't think confronting him at this point will make much difference in a relationship that is already over and where he was never willing to tell you the truth in the first place.

 

The best revenge is living well....drop this toxic guy out of your life and focus on your healing journey. Great things await, and much better men, but you have some healing to do first.

[Day_Walker]

Its simple, the relationship is over, now move on.

[becallamjr]

I would say move on and live your life. He cheated and you know it. Be angry at him, it will help you move on a lot quicker.

[coollady1957]

I agree with the other posts here. Its ok to be angry. but dont confront him with it. Keep NO contact going at all costs. The anger is normal. The best you can do now is move on and forget about him and make your life for yourself happy and fulfilled without him.

 

I went through a similar situation where my now ex bf lied and cheated. I broke up with him and told him to get out of my life, but I never let all my true anger out with him. I so wanted to give him more than a piece of my mind for all that he had done to me for a year and a half . So I truly know and understand how you feel. I kept feeling the strong urge to get my emotion and physical anger out about what he had done, so I took it all out on an inanimate item that he had given me. I physically destroyed it, and cursed it as though it were him. Funny as it may sound , it released tons of anger that I had pent up inside. Mind you, I am not even a violent person and dont condone violence , however what I did was such an awesome release and I felt a million pounds lifted off my shoulders and spirit. I felt some how that he would pay his dues in life for what he had done to me eventually, just because I am a believer of " what goes around , comes around" or that " you reap what you sow". I figured life itself would take care of giving him his punishment some how.

 

Let off your anger some how, and keep strong, and you will find some one deserving of you. I hope the best for you.

[ricardo]

I suspect that this is a "pride" issue that you have. You were wise enough to leave him, now be smart enough to let it go and rise above this with your head high.