I'm in a funk

[red10]

sooo...lately I've just been really really sad, feeling really numb inside - not too much crying, I don't think I can squeeze out anymore tears - currently listening to Pete Yorn and reading posts that make me even sadder -

 

I just really miss him. It's snowing outside, I remember one of the best memories of us was when he took me snowplowing ( i know, sounds really stupid) but we had a great time, talked a lot about life in general, and I even learned how to plow - very cool ...but anyway, just kind of been thinking about those happy days and how it's over - all of that, for nothing.

 

it's been almost 3 weeks of complete NC - and what a battle - worst of all, it's a battle with myself! trying to convince myself I'll be okay and don't call him, don't email, don't think about him - but he is everywhere, I mean, he's not in the area, so I don't have to see him, but everything reminds me of him - I can't go anywhere or do anything without something reminding me of him - It's driving me nuts over here!

 

and i knows it's just pointless. all of the time I'm spending thinking of him and missing him - He's just thinking about her and missing her and wanting to be with HER....](*,)

 

just really numb to everything now. it's so early, all I want to do is sleep and stay in bed.

[renaissancewoman101]

Three weeks is not a long time, you are still healing and getting over the relationship loss. It takes months for people to get over relationships, and sometimes even longer. You are doing pretty well if you are sticking to NC. I tried to do NC but it was so hard for me to do and I fell off the wagon a few times. It is hard to go on with your life and see things all around that remind you of your ex. I know that. I went through that when I was living in Wisconsin. Since my ex, when we were in a relationship, stayed up by me a lot, stuff in my apartment and around the neighborhood reminded me of him. With time, it will get better. It has been almost 6 months since my breakup and I am finally starting to get over him. But, it took me leaving everything I was familiar with, and moving halfway accross the US to CA. Good luck to you.

 

And it is not wrong to sleep and cry about it. We all mourn our relationships in different ways.

 

Yes, DN is right, go out and do stuff so that you dont sit at home weeping for him. Get out and get some fresh air and sunshine. That always helps.

[DN]

Try not to sit at home just thinking about him.Get out and about doing things - especially things that requite concentration. When you are at home keep busy - read, happy movies, crossword puzzles. Don't let your mind go round in circles because you can't move forward that way.

[ElektraHere]

Hey Red,

 

I am sorry you're in a funk I can sympathize with you. I was in a funk a few nights ago. I too was listening to not so happy music. My choice of sad music is Eva Cassidy. So I sat there all night long crying and missing my friend. (thats where we differ) The person whom I was crying over is my friend whom I developed feelings for but were not returned. We are in sort of a NC mode right now which SUCKS!

 

I too am reminded of things everywhere. I cant really listen to John Mayer at the moment. I digress.. Sorry

 

This is about you not me. The first thing I would do is listen to more upbeat music. Pete Yorn isnt the ticket with the way you are feeling. Listen to something you have only listened to by yourself. The only music I can listen to that reminds me of no one is Rap and Dave Matthews. music.

 

Use this site to vent, vent, vent!!!

 

This sounds really dumb and you may not do it but go take a walk if it isnt a blizzard outside and below zero. When it snows where I live which isnt that often it gets so peaceful its really nice. Just the sound of the snow crunching under your boots.

 

I am not sure I helped but just know there are people here that know what you're going through and we are all here to help each other

[renaissancewoman101]

ElektraHere brings up a good idea, go for a walk, even if it is cold and snowy out there. It will help you get your anger and depression out when you do something strenuous and refreshing.

 

Me, when things bug me or I am depressed, I like to go for a drive, the further the better. One time, when I was upset about things, while I was living in Milwaukee, I took a drive all the way up to Door County and back (that is a three hour drive one way, but very scenic). It helped me get out some of my frustration and anger.

[thlst3]

I feel your pain. My only advice is to hangout with friends and be with the one who cares.

 

Good luck.

[ElektraHere]

This is really ridiculous but if there is enough snow and you have a yard or a park near by......this is bound to make you smile.

 

Go and make a snow angel. I know it sounds ridiculous and you may not do it but just remember when you were younger and how you and your friends would make them in the snow and how happy you were.

[renaissancewoman101]

Snow angels are fun. I remember doing them all the time with the first snowfall of the season, when I lived in Milwaukee.

[red10]

thanks for the support guys - one of my best friends just called and i just lost it, so now i have puffy eyes and a stuffy nose!

 

BUT, i will take that walk - i do love the snow, it's very peaceful...maybe that's what i need, just to find some peace with myself.

 

and i know, usually i listen to upbeat music, i even made a mix and called it "Stay Strong" - compiled of some really good tunes such as 'you're so vain", strongh enough, i will survive....lots of 'em. i think i need to change cd's now...

 

and i have been going out, keeping busy, but that knot in my chest is still there, going strong...aarrrggghhh - i've had enough already.

[Dako]

Red,

I'm in the same boat tonight. Kind of down and blue.

I'm going for a drive, (thanks RW) and listen to loud old music.

[keenan]

Ugh. I've been in the same funk for two days. I'm sitting here eating graham crackers, feeling too lazy to get up from this chair, too sorry for myself to even drive around. Pathetic. Red & Dako, we should just have a sad-person slumber party.

[red10]

okay, so i'm back - I wanted to go for a walk, but it's no longer snowing and it's kind of just slushy and messy - but instead, as Dako mentioned, I went driving and blasted my music...love to do that (sad, but my favorite part of the day has been driving to and from work) but it made me feel a little better.

 

Electra and RW, i was also tempted to make a snow angel, but there's not enough snow

 

keenan, this is our sad-person slumber party unfortunately

 

and at least your eating graham crackers, I went to McD's for the fries and a chix sandwhich - I don't really like McD's either, hmmm....

[keenan]

Ok, so I also ate some nasty chocolate ding dong things from a gas station, which I NEVER do, and also an entire package of smarties. And the graham crackers? Not one. Not two. At least 10. And I wasn't hungry for any of it. And now I feel gross. Feel like a pillow fight yet? Me neither.

 

Off to do laundry. Good luck to you.

[red10]

yeah, I haven't been eating much lately, but when I do I tend to go for the crap....although my sandwhich had some lettuce and a tomatoe on it

 

anyway, good luck to you keenan - the best part of doing laundry is when they come out of the dryer...nice and warm and they smell good...I sometimes put a blanket in and then wrap myself in it - it's makes me feel relaxed and calm...sometimes i need that!

[renaissancewoman101]

Red10, I am glad you went for a drive and played loud music. I hope it helped you out. When I am upset and go for a drive, I always like to play techno music because it is very upbeat and gives me the impetus to speed. I have a bad lead foot and I tend to speed a lot on the freeways.

[Dako]

Traffic was nutziod so I went the cigar bar, bought nice maduro but 2 guys ragging about women pissed me off. Wish I could hate women, but you know how I am... so I was off to junk foodland. Fishbooger and fries yuck drove home. Wish I had fuzzy slippers, a bathrobe and a pound of curlers. Maybe I'll pop a Guinness. I feel so fat. Whaaaa!

[CarnelianButterfly]

My funk food is chocolate. My Mom hid some in my teapot for Valentines Day I found them Monday and have had only a couple each night. They're the little Dove hearts with the gushy sayings on the inside of the wrapper, I had one tonight that says "Chocolate. Always your Valetine". I taped it to my desk. I've been making origami cranes with the less moving (for me) sentiments and flicking them accross the room.

[Dako]

I'm trying to digest a Burger King fish sandwhich and it feels like I'm going to have kittens. Wish I had some chocolate or ice cream. You gurls know how to get down.

[CarnelianButterfly]

Fast food is gross, it rips up my stomach. Fries are the only thing I can stand anymore and even then I prefer oven toasted to oil slicked.

[Dako]

Yeah, it was a bad idea all right.

At least I didn't Super Size.

Craaaamps.

[Diggitydave]

This might make you feel better. My mood goes up and down all day like an elevator on speed. I am sorry you are in a funk, I think most of us here are right there with you. There is nothing any of us would rather here than that you are out of it. When you are, let us know

[red10]

deeep breath....I've been taking Tylenol PM every single night since this has happened, well, a couple nights i just kind of passed out after a night out - which was needed...

 

but today at work...oh geez...my poor co-workers are probably so sick and tired of me moping around, i try not to, it's really hard (good thing we're all ladies) - today I was on the phone with just a really mean woman - after the call i just broke down and cried...i started to hold it in, ya know - i'm trying to get work done....but then just go in the bathroom and let it out - even after i was done, the pain in my chest still lingers - and my eyes are tired of shedding tears -

 

i was also invited to go out with some people tomorrow night, but really i don't want to...they are all going with their SO's...and I can't surround myself with other couples - it's one thing to see them out and about...but i don't want to hang out with them - does that make sense?

 

my head hurts, my eyes hurt, my body aches, and my heart is broken.

 

There are times when i'm okay though, which is great, but then I get these panic attacks - and it all comes back and then i'm back to square one. and i don't even see him or talk to him.

 

My own worst enemy right now is my mind. even when i'm sleeping, i've been having these dreams with him in them and they wake me up early in the AM - I realize that's it's really over and then i start over again with the crying - and i go to work with puffy eyes....this doesn't happen every day, but a good 5 out of 7.

 

I know, I know...it takes time and I will heal, just have to take it one day at a time....and so far I dread each day I hate how I let him get the best of me.

[Lady Bugg]

Hey Red....

 

I feel your pain. I have the weekend off ..and am planning on a day at the beach tomorrow. At least I have THAT in my favor.

 

I am getting pretty sick and tired of feeling sick and tired....and rejected.

I realize only *I* can change this....no one else.

 

I have SLOWWWWWWLY started puling myself back together..and realizing that it IS in fact OVER. Truthfully...once I ACCEPTED this without trying to think of ways to change that fact....I started feeling better. My only hope is to make MYSELF a better person. A happier person.

 

Today was one of my most productive days at work ...where I actually WANTED to to be productive..not because I HAD to be. That was a good sign for me..because I am using my work as a "coping" strategy. Having work is a very useful and effective thing when dealing with a break up. It gives you something to throw yourself into...for at least eight hours. That's eight hours you can forget him/her....leave their memories at the door. In fact...ask your boss for MORE work or overtime if you can because truthfully...right NOW, free time is the work of the devil for you. It is your enemy. Use those hours PRODUCTIVELY.

 

I am not being preachy.....but I am finally coming out of that "haze".

I can FINALLY go to sleep without tossing and turning. or wondering "what if'.

I am getting on with LIFE...and in the process leaving him behind. Little by little...

[Hunny1607307342]

Sleeping and staying in bed will only make you worse. I know you really can't be bothered, but in the morning I find it really hard especially, but whenever I get up immediately I realise its a much better idea. Exercise is also good. Do things, if I were to stay in bed all day I'd be crazy right now!

[Diggitydave]

Yeah the first part of the day is always the worst for me. I don't know why. When the nighttime hits I can usually relax a bit and feel a little bit better.