Choose between love and sexual chemistry?

[peechka]

I have went through a rough patch in my marriage as well. Im a man though, 36, and she is 38 now. We got married when we were in our mid 20s and now have 2 boys one being 7 and the other being 4. In our marriage of 8 yrs and being together for 10, we drifted apart. I began a PC gaming addiction and would be gone every evening when the kids were to bed, and she basically set op a life outside of ours to fulfill her needs, which lead to her cheating on me with one of her friends of many years. It was partly my fault, I have to admit. I was mean, I had the gaming addiction, but I never deserved what she did to me. anyway, this was last summer and she told me about it February. I was crushed. But somehow we worked through it and are in a recovery phase now. I stopped gaming and she stopped cheating. We now spend all of our evenings together and I am there for her. I began taking an anti depressant and this is helping as well. Im no longer angry all the time. I also lost 60Lbs and got down to my sexy 20's weight. I now help her around the house, take the kids out of her hair for a while all the time (she is a stay at home mom so she needs her freedom) I do everything she asks and more. Hell, I even give her pedicures. We now go out constantly to clubs to go dancing and seeing bands together, something she told me she needed from me as well.

 

Its still hard though. She tells me now what a wonderful man I have become, kinder, more considerate and she loves me more than ever, but Im not sure that she really does. Maybe she is still going through the withdrawal of the affair or whatever, but I just dont feel wanted. Sex is really important to me and I could have it 2 to 3 times a day if I could. And she does have sex with me and fulfills my need, but at the same time her libido is so low that she never initiates it. And I simply do not feel wanted by her. I could go for days, weeks, without initiating sex and she could give 2 doo-doos.

 

We have talked about it and she tells me that while she loves me and loves having sex with me, her libido is low. She told me that while she is having sex with me its great and I am good in bed,(not to brag but I can give her 4-5 orgasms each time) it feels like she does not want me or need me in that way. And it would be great if just once she initiated something, flirted, put some sexy undies on sometimes...Whatever, its just not there and it hurts. I need more and im just tired of constantly bringing it up.

 

Maybe a couple of the ladies here and I could hook up, looks like were all looking for some more.

[Rainmkr65]

I'm at the other end of your plight. My wife and I have almost the exact situation. It is just about the toughest thing I have personally been through. We get along great but she and I simply don't connect in a way that we both need when it comes to intimacy. It took 20 years for both of us to admit and with those years I'm sure a fair amount of regret. Only you know what's right but if your not feeling the way you think you should towards him then you probaly right. Do yourself and your husband a favor and don't drag it out. Or if you feel that there is any possible reconciliation, go into it 100%. You will know when it feels right or not.

This is from the heart.

RM

[ramsickle1369]

Maybe a couple of the ladies here and I could hook up, looks like were all looking for some more.

 

I don't think that's the answer ;-)

 

Women do suffer from decreased libido just as men do who now have Viagara to help. Often with women they are so busy taking care of everyone else they forget that they are a beautiful, sexy being underneath. I have heard that the right kind of therapy and supplementaion can increase female libido. Therapy to reach the emotional distance that causes lowered libido and the supplementation to help the body reach the levels of energy we had in our younger days. One such supplement that I really believe in is called "Prime Time -Female Libido Formula" by Market America. Hopefully this link will work:

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