Cancer should be a swear word!

[Sugar-Rush]

Hey enotaloners,

 

He had an appointment with his specalist today, he is starting his cemo again next week but now there is only a 20% chance it will work. He is defiant and determind he'll be strong and stay with us as long as he can and don't get me wrong i haven't given up, i'll never give up i just feel so deflated.

I know this sounds really really horrible, but i just feel that mayb if it doesn't work, well mayb he should give up. I love him so so much and i want him here with me and my family forever, but i hate seeing him suffering so badly he doesn't deserve the pain, what kind of life is that... i feel so evil...i just think if the cemo doesn't help mayb he should just go to heaven and be happy.... i don't want him to hurt.

I just want my daddy back cancer free happy and healthy, he's the kindest person i've ever met, why does he have to die?

I'm sorry, i'm just hurting and confused.

I know my daddys gunna be an angel, but i want him here with me and my mum.

 

sad today... in need of a big fat hug.

Sugar XxXx

[locolady]

Oh sugar, i'm so sorry to hear your story - cancer is one of those illnesses that just about everybody can relate to yet i know no-one can ease your pain. Youre not evil to think this way, not at all - its a very common reaction to constantly seeing someone you love suffer - all you want is for his pain to stop however that can be achieved. All you can do is support your dad, spend as much time with him as you possibly can - and try to chat to him about normal things - enjoy the time you have. Throw 100% of your faith and love into him while he has his treatment and try not to think about what the future brings or the possibiluty of it not working. Be strong. I really feel for you and hope things will work out. Best wishes and lots of hugs from a stranger/friend! xxx

[RayKay]

Hey Sugar,

 

Yeah there are times I hate to hear the word too....it's funny how one word can carry so much pain with it.

 

My mum's current chemo is not working well either, so she has to see her doctor this week to decide what the next step will be. It is indeed scary. I know if the next type does not work, and she has a recurrence, she does not want to go through this again..that scares me too.

 

Unfortunately, death affects the kind, the mean spirited, the lonely, the sociable...it does not pick and choose according to "whom" you are. I have known many kind hearted, lovely people to get ill, and sometimes die. No one deserves the pain whatever their personality.

 

Your dad is fighting, and "miracles" do happen. Have faith. And no matter what happens, know you are loved - because he sure knows he is.

 

(((((Sugar)))))

[coollady1957]

Hello Sugar-Rush

I amso very sorry that your father is going through so much with his treatment and recovery. I truly hate to see people in so much pain and worry. I have never had to deal with any one close to me having cancer, and I can only imagine your heartbreak and confusion over this. I hope and pray for the best for your father and for guidance and strength for you and the entire family.

[kickedin]

i feel for you i am going through the same thing...my mom has cmml

[SLMitchell918]

It is natural to have those feelings towards your loved one. It isn't evil at all. You hate seeing them going through the pain of Chemo and everything else that goes along with it. I really feel your pain honey.

 

There is still a 20 % chance that it may work. Your father probably sees that as a 20% more chance of spending his life with you in this world. Keep the faith and stand by him. Miracles do happen.

[ShySoul]

Sugar rush,

 

Your father is strong. He is determined to fight the cancer and survive. And sometimes that alone can make the difference between success and failure. It wouldn't surprise me if he beats the odds.

 

Every second that he has is time he wants to spend with you and the family. Enjoy each of those moments. Savor them. I know it doesn't help that much right now, but your dad will always be with you in spirit. Enjoy his physical company now, and cherish every minute.

 

I'm sorry you are feeling so down about this. It's a hard thing to go through. You, your dad, and your family have my best wishes.

 

*HUGS Sugar Rush

[fur_ever21]

This is the only post I have read of yours but all it took was knowing what it was about and, I am right there with you. I loved my daddy to pieces. I am 47 now it has only been 3 years ago and it feels like yesterday. My advice to you is to make every minute special. Even if it is sitting next to your daddy and just "being there" a lot can be said by a touch or a hold of a hand even a smile at a time you think you can't. What helped me too is that I started, well I call it my own little personal book, but I started writing. How I felt at the time since dad got diagnosed and weeks past even. I saved it all on a disc. I haven't read it for 2 years and was just thinking I should the other day. Let the beautiful and precious memories be clear in your mind. Let the sad and hard times go.Hang in there. It is true Time DOES heal. It doesn't take away the pain or the memory...it just makes it a little easier to get by. I was just crying a few days ago because my dad was foremost on my mind. It is not easy but you gotta keep going on. You know he would like it that way. I know I am talking as if he is gone already, I am sorry. I am only speaking from experience. Cancer has struct my dad, my mom and I lost a sister last year. Me myself have had it. I know there ARE the wonderful stories of survival and I hope the best for your daddy but I am the type of person that likes to know all so I can be prepared. So sorry if I came on too strong. I don't know who you are but my heart goes out to you and and (here is a hug for you today).....