I am surprised at how fast I am healing

[lifeistough]

My last post was a couple of weeks ago about seeing my ex with a new guy. Well, the past few days I have felt almost indifferent about the situation. I have hardly thought about her at all. Maybe I'll hit another low, but I doubt it? This seems so odd, 2 weeks ago I thought I'd never get over her, but now if I think about her I just feel anger rather than sorrow. In fact I smile about it to myself sometimes. I've been going out a lot recently, girls have approached but I turned them down. She is using guy(s) physically and emotionally to get over me, I have decided not to do the same. This has been a huge blow, and I'm doing so well, I don't want to ruin my quest to regain my independance.

[octopus]

Congratulations! Like they said "You don't die of a heartache. You only wish you did".

[Need1ozHope]

Good for you! Keep the great attitude. Its contagious

[lifeistough]

Something has happened.

 

She has been signing on MSN over the past 2 days with the name "if i could turn back time - made so many mistakes". I had a feeling this was to do with me, I was right. She changed her faceparty, with her perfect partner being "my perfect partner will always be (me)". And wrote a long spiel about missing me, making mistakes after dumping me, and how she wants me to know how much she thinks of me.

 

* * * is she doing? She doesn't contact me. My first guess was she wants me back. But, more reasonably, it could just be her feeling guilty and her way of saying sorry, or it could just be she got lonely over valentines day.

 

Either way, I can't want her back after all this.. .. right?

[renaissancewoman101]

Maybe she senses that you are getting over her and moving on with your life and she doesnt want you to do that. I get the feeling that our ex's like it when they know that we are still pining away for them, while they are out living their lives to the fullest. It is a big ego boost for them. Now that she may see that you dont want her back, she is trying to lure you back???

 

My ex was kinda like that although I dont think he ever wants to date me again. When he found out that I was really moving out to CA, he wanted to meet up with me and see how I was. I knew he was surprised that I was moving away. His mother definitely didnt want me to move away because she knew the chances of us ever getting back together was very slim.

[lifeistough]

renaissancewoman101, thanks for the response. I hate to think that she feels empowered by the fact I want her back, but I guess it could be true.

 

I saw her tonight, in town, in a bar.. she looked at me in the same odd way from accross the room. She left shorly after. I got home tonight, and her msn name is "...link removed name> - updated" I read it and she has updated her profile saying the same thing but with captal letters all over the place and addressing it to me directly. I have no idea what is going through her head. If she wanted me back she should just pick up the phone or text me, or just like talk to me in the freakin bar?. But instead she types all that * * * * on faceparty and indirectly directs me to it.

 

I think she is going through a big guilt trip for sleeping around. Or she got dumped by one of her new lover boys. I just hope I can keep thinking straight and not get eveloped again by her web of doom.

[lifeistough]

Perfect Partner : always has been and always will be

 

Why does she write that? I am finding this frustrating. She rejected me absolutely. Then she writes that. There must have been something that ocurred for her to suddenly change her mind and decide that I am the one for her. She must have tried it with a few other guys, they treater her like dirt, and then she decides she is better off with me after all!! No good, man.

[healinginnyc81]

lifeistough, Don't let her game playing get to you. Try to avoid looking at all that if you can. I'm not sure if you even want her back but if you do, you have to wait for her to really reach out to you. She's not doing that right now. She may just be lonely and testing you out to see if she still has you. I'm sorry you have to deal with this.

[lifeistough]

bjk, thanks. What do you advise me to do? I do not know if I want her back, but for some reason I want her to want me back.

 

She is a pretty girl and goes out a lot. While we were together she was infinitely loyal to me. But she gets chatted up by multiple guys whenever she goes out. My friends tell me that if I am going to act, I should act fast.

 

Do you think I should just ignore this and wait to see if she contacts me? There is a massive barrier between us now, I think only I can break it. .

[healinginnyc81]

I really think it's best if you wait for her to clearly tell you that she wants to get back together with you. It sounds like she is just confused right now or maybe even feeling guilty but this doesn't mean she wants you back.

 

Also, you yourself aren't sure if you want her back. Do you feel like you're ready to take her back and work on rebuilding your relationship, if that's what she wants too?

 

If you think you want to give the relationship another chance, I think you should wait a week or two to give her the chance to make the first contact. If she doesn't but you think you want to take the risk of contacting her and getting hurt again, then I think you should send a message just to say hi and ask how she's doing.

 

I've been following your story and it's a really tough situation. She has issues to work through and you have to work on yourself, so I'm not really sure if now is the best time for either of you to be in a relationship. But that's just from what I've read in the posts, only you really know her and yourself.

[lifeistough]

Thanks bkj. I appreciate it.

 

She actually texted me last night saying "do you hate me?", I only noticed it this avo and replied basically saying no i don't, and i don't understand why she suddenly updated her faceparty like that.

 

She responded immediately with :

 

I'm just so messed up i have messed my whole life up. I wish i was different. I'm so sorry for everything you should hate me for what i have been like to you.x

 

I want to reply but don't know what to say. Maybe I should just leave it. She is being so ambiguous. It could either be a way of breaking the ice and starting conversation, or it could just be her trying to relieve herself of the burden of guilt -- but which one, i have NO idea. I just want to say "what do you want from me?"

[healinginnyc81]

Reply and say something like: "We both made some mistakes in our relationship, but I enjoyed the time we had together. You're a great girl. I hope things get better for you and you feel better soon."

 

Something like that to let her know that you care about her but that you aren't stuck in the past and you're trying to move on with your life.