Am i an idiot for doing this?

[steff]

hey, i met this guy, he just turned 25 like on the weekend, and im 18, turning 19 in august. we met through friends, and he seemed really nice, and we talked all the time, he would call from work, and we would chat at night and stuff, and he told me how he really cared about me, and really likes me.

 

so yesterday we went out together in the city. he was really nice, he opens doors for me and walks two steps behind me, and all that nice stuff. he drove me home because he didnt want me catching the train or anything.

 

he took me to a really nice beach and we just sat in the car, and he started making out with me... but the thing is, he touched me down there and on my breasts before he even kissed me on the lips. and when i told him to stop he did, and he just held me and hugged me. but later on, after he met my sister, he told me that he doesnt think he can be the boyfriend that i want him to be. so i got really angry because i felt used, and i felt like a * * * *, and he tried to get me to talk to him, but i was sooo angry i couldnt even put two words together. 5 minutes later he had me smiling and laughing and being happy again.

 

he tells me he wants us to be together, but because his really busy he doesnt feel that he is good enough and that i deserve more. ok, he works full time as a legal analysist or soemthing for some large company, and then on saturday he does volunteer work at the royal melbourn children hospital, and sundays... well i dont know. we live an hour apart.

 

it wouldnt bother me if we didnt see each other all the time. i mean, im moving out soon, and it just so happens to be close to his work, and the uni that im going to also happens to be near where he lives, so it wouldnt be that bad.

 

can you please tell me whether im being a fool, or whether it could work, or what u think of this situation????

 

thanks

[ComputerGuy]

Personally I think it's very clear what he wants. Play it safe and save your heart from being broken now I think.

[yelloemail]

consider yourself lucky! this man is a complete a&*. do yourself a favor and don't talk to him again.. just my opinion.

[DN]

Seems to me he wants sex with you and is trying to manipulate your feelings so he can get it. Don't do it - time he learned a valuable lesson.

[steff]

but he seems really nice. and stuff, like he opens doors and makes me laugh heaps and stuff... maybe im just being stupid hey...

[ComputerGuy]

It's called manipulation/emotional blackmail.

[shorty20]

honestly.. don't ever believe guys when they tell you they "don't have time for a relationship"... thats just an excuse. If they really wanted to, they would make time. I would be really shady towards him. He's a bit old for you anywayz. I would stick with guys your age for now... and even if he stoped when you told him to... the fact that thats what he started off doing shows alot about what he's looking for and what kind of person he is. Save yoruself and drop him now.

[DN]

Don't mistake the appearance of good manners and a sense of humour for an interest in a committed relationship.

[DaMadHatter]

Geez i think were all jumping the gun on this guy here. Yes, chances are he is looking for sex i mean he is 25 and "touched" you inappropriately. Maybe he's used to girls his age who are more open early on, or maybe it was a dumb impulse mistake he is now regretting.

 

My point is we don't know this guy like she does, and she seems to approve of him. I say if u think u can handle a relationship with an older guy with more experience go for it, but don't fool yourself into thinking he wont want sex asap.

 

And him being nice and all, who isn't in the beginning, don't let that go to your head. Older guys have been around longer thus have learned how to manipulate. Be careful and realistic but really u know him better than we do, so ask yourself what u want and go for it but be cautious.

[ShySoul]

Sadly, some people will be nice just to get to a girl. Actually, he sounds like he could be a decent person in many ways. But he also seems to be too forward and not want the same thing as you. You aren't crazy for being attracted to him and wishing it could work. But he sounds like he isn't right for you and you need to be strong in resisting any feelings or advances from him.

[younger 22]

Personally, I have dated quite a few guys including my husband and even divorce ones and most of them did not touch me below, before they touch me on the top. Hope you know what I mean. I think he's just interested in what you can offer below. I feel that this type of man would not last long. You can certainly give him another chance, but usually,relationship needs to be based on mutual respect.