santamadia Posted July 16, 2003 Share Posted July 16, 2003 HELLO ALL, MY NAME IS SANTA, AND ME AND MY BOYFRIEND HAVE BEEN GOING TOGETHER FOR ABOUT 8 MONTHS. I HAVE BEEN MORE THEN KIND TO HIM AND THERE IS ONLY ONE BIG PROBLEM. I'M JEALOUS AND VERY INSECURE. I USED TO ACCUSE HIM SO MUCH OF CHEATING THAT NOW...EVEN THOUGH HE HAS NEVER CHEATED ON ME, HE IS TREATING ME BADLY AND BLAMES EVERY THING ON ME. ME Me and him have been through nothing but fighting this whole time...nothing but arguing. last night i tried to tell him how i felt and cried and all he did was point the finger on me. He told me i was a piece of coal and that he was waiting for me to turn into a diamond. "with your insecure a##" Help Link to comment
speedracer780 Posted July 16, 2003 Share Posted July 16, 2003 Well I appreciate your being able to admit your faults... I think that maybe all your insecurities and accusations have been a major player in the destruction of your relationship. Maybe there is some bit of truth to his "diamond" comment. That you need to overcome your insecurities so that you can begin to build the trust in your relationship that he obviously deserves. Link to comment
secret_agent_man Posted July 16, 2003 Share Posted July 16, 2003 My view, is that the fact that he said he's "waiting for you to turn into a diamond" is a good thing. It means he sees potential in your relationship, and he's not just fed up with the situation. I'd be glad he said that. As you said, he gave you no reason not to trust him, but you still can't. There's not much he can do. I can understand why he's resorted to blaming you, but remember he still cares. You're going to have to do some hard work now... You need to force yourself to loosen your grip, but he needs to help by understanding what you're doing, and not complaining for a while. Talk to him and tell him that you KNOW you have to do it for the good of your relationship but you need his support, and he has to be able to forgive you for the past. He will probably be very relieved to hear this, and welcome the change. If you know you should trust him, you need to force yourself to, or nothing will change. Make the decision for yourself, but make the change for both of you. S.A.M. Link to comment
winkie Posted July 16, 2003 Share Posted July 16, 2003 HELLO!! Why are you letting talk mean to you. You have insecurities and that is fine and becuase he is your boyfriend should understand that and not blame all the problems in your relationship on you. I think you need to step outside the situation and make sure you are not staying with this guy because it is all you think you can get due to your insecurities. You need to work on your self-esteem and him pointing the finger at U is not helping. Nothing like kicking someone when they are down.. Link to comment
netman Posted July 16, 2003 Share Posted July 16, 2003 HELLO!! Why are you letting talk mean to you. You have insecurities and that is fine and becuase he is your boyfriend should understand that and not blame all the problems in your relationship on you. Winkie, you're WAY off. The problem is hers not his, period end of story. The first step in curing jealousy and insecurity is admiting you're the one with the problem, not the other way around. I've been on both sides of the jealousy thing, so I know first hand. Link to comment
secret_agent_man Posted July 16, 2003 Share Posted July 16, 2003 Agreed, netman. He's frustrated, and it's not unusual, but he said some kind words at the same time: He knows she has the potential for her to overcome this. That means he believes deeply in her, which is an amazing thing to be able to do... S.A.M. Link to comment
winkie Posted July 16, 2003 Share Posted July 16, 2003 OF Course and he knows that and the first thing in a relationship is to understand your partner and he knows how she is so yelling at her and putting the blame on her is not going to help any she admitted to being wrong and that is greta but he has to understand that she has an issue and that is period end of story you cant kick someone when they have already admitted to a problem try to help them a relationship takes 2 people not just one....she understands her problem but by him yelling at her it is not going to make her help her with her issue. PS if it was the other way around I am sure her bo would not want to be treated the way he is treating her.......she needs help. Link to comment
santamadia Posted July 16, 2003 Author Share Posted July 16, 2003 Wow, thank you all for your support and Winkie, thank you for your other point of view which i must say is kinda how i truly feel. I have already toldhim I need help and he told me to stuff it I also agree with the rest of you cool people that i made this happen by running him down with my insecurities...so now what? Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now