really calm about what i'm doing

[james21]

i have bought the stuff i need to commit suicide- it was almost like an out of body experience doing that- very strange. i feel in control, not desperate like before, but still wanting to end it all.

i don't know if i need psychological help because it all seems so right.it would be so good just to be out of all this.

[Dako]

James,

Please!

Tell someone about your plan. A doctor, a friend or someone who can help you. Do it right now, and you can get help so that a month from now you'll look back on this as a bad period in your life, but only a low point.

 

I was in your shoes in September and had the same peaceful out-of-body experience and a plan but got help. I only needed someone to talk to as I went through a depressed phase and found lots of help was right under my nose.Today I'm stronger and happier. During that time I saw suicide as a rational and logical solution, I later see it as a distortion of my real self. Depression can take away your will to live and can make it look so easy to just slip away to avoid pain and confusion.

 

Please don't flirt with disaster for you and your famlly. I've lost friends that way, and that pain lives on inside me. Don't bring more pain into the world, we have more than enough. The reason you feel detached and in control about doing this is simple..You aren't yourself right now. I've had a few times where despair or pain gave me this odd feeing of separation frommyself, and each time I did thing that were out of character.

When you get past this, life will be good again. I promise you.

[red10]

Dako is right...please don't do this, think about how much pain this would cause to everyone that loves you and cares about you.

 

I see that you have posted that you are prepared for doing this, but you have already reached out to us for help by posting this, please listen and do not do this.

 

Sometimes talking to strangers is easier than someone you know, we are here for you...you can get through this, there are other options, this is not the only way to deal with solving your problems...

[DN]

Yes you most definitely do need help. Call a suicide hotline immediately before you make an irreversible mistake. There are people who can help you there. Keep posting on here but make that phone call now.

[DN]

call this number now - please

 

 

[Dako]

James,

 

All around you, wherever you are, there are people who've been suicidal and got past it. I was surprised how many people hide this experience but would help someone out of it in a flash if they just were asked.

Someday you can be one of these people who know what it's like and can help someone cope with living.

Talking to someone who knows how to get out of this despair is really a refreshing change from listening to your inner dialogue day after day.

 

Nobody should have to go through what you feel right now, but life isn't always fair. Sometimes these challenges blindside you and make it impossible to pull yourself up. Ask for a hand and get back to living.

[DN]

I saw that in a previous post you mentioned that your drinking is out of control - you could also try calling Alcoholics Anonymous - you will also find kind and supportive people there who will be glad to help you

 

 

[ocrob]

James, drinking definitely causes depression. I am guessing you are not a selfish person so please listen to this. I realize a lot of people think about ending their lives, but you have to consider the people in your life. I wouldn't say that I have ever thought about killing myself, but have thought about how it would devistate my family. I could not leave my friends and family with such guilt and sadness. You need to be strong and spare your life so that you can spare friends or family an eternity of guilt and sadness.

[Bethany]

Throw them away, Realise that your mind got the better of you and it didnt feel real because your mind is playing tricks with you. Think of your mother and father, how they would feel at the loss of their child, the future taken from you and them, the life out there for you when you recover, the happiness you will miss, the woman you will love and care for in the future, the children you will one day have, the grandkids sitting on grandpas knee, all of those things are waiting for you in future.

 

Talk to us, talk to your parents and the people you love, talk to professionals. Something isn't right and we will all help you. Chose life.

[daisy77]

I saw this post on the main page and couldn't not respond.

 

I'm new here and don't know anything about your history or what you're going through, James, but please don't do it. Please -- live.

[darkblue]

Talk to us, James.

[james21]

i was thinking of writing a note to explain- and not make anyone else feel guilty. thing is everyone else is fine- its just my life hich is a waste of tiime.

i actually wish my parents weren't here- then i wouldn't have the feeling of guilt.

[coollady1957]

James I have been keeping up with all your posts. PLease do not take your life. You truly do have us here to help you through if you will just take some advice and try to pull yourself through. YOu do need to call the suicide hotline fast if you have not already. Your life is worth so much more than you are realizing right now. I know of some friends that lost a son to suicide, and they are in tremendous pain even to this day. I have seen through them what losing a child to something horrific has done to them. Not only will you be taking your own life, you will basically will be ruining the biggest part of your parents life and others who care for you. I wish there were some way we could all physically be there for you. Please keep talking tous here and Please reach out to some one NOW that is close to you. You can beat this desire you have to take your life. You can overcome this. Dako is a great example of being able to pull yourself out of this feeling you have. Life does and will get better.

[Dako]

If you checked out, you wouldn't feel a sense of relief, and others would do your suffering for the rest of their lives.

For their sake, you need to fix a few things in your life.

Take the first step, and let others help you. Nobody can really make it through life without help.

[james21]

i spoke to a helpline before, they tell you the same thing. when you have been depressed for a number of years i think it numbs you, you stop caring about other people. which is where i am. the only thing that maters is you. i will see what happens. i don't like talking to my family, they are not interested in anything deep, refuse to acknowledge depression/suicidal thoughts. im actually quite tired of all the superficial **** i always get. maybe the afterlife will be more interesting

 

this is my last post, whatever happens. i think these forums actually perpetuate ppls feelings. i need to think away from a pc.

[Relationship Coach]

James,

 

We have talked about this before and i think you need to stop for a second and reconsider this. You say you wish your parents were not there because you feel guilty, how are they going to feel? As a parent my world as I know it would no longer exist if my son were to take his own life. I would blame myself for the rest of my life no matter what was written in a note left behind. Do you think a note is going to answer all of their questions or remove them from guilt or pain? NO! You need to stop looking for the easy way out, the only person that it may be easy on is you. Your family will overturn every rock looking for the real reason you did this, they will ask themselves "why" every day. Is that what you want? Do you want to hurt your parents? What have they done that was so wrong that you would want to cause them a lifetime of pain? Tell us James, tell us.

 

RC

[Dako]

James,

 

When you've thought a bit, check in with us. If you don't I'll feel like s**t.

[darkblue]

James,

Do not do anything you won't have the chance to regret.

 

Check back with us.

Talk it out with us.

What have you got to lose?

[Hope75]

Tell us why you think your life isn't worth anything to anybody.

 

???

[ShySoul]

James,

 

I have often felt like life is pointless and that I have nothing to live for. I've often felt like no one cares. My family doesn't listen either and ignore how I feel. I can remember saying to my brother that I feel dead inside and don't see a point in living. His response was that I didn't feel that way. There have been times were they turn that around on me and make out like I'm saying these things to hurt them. There have been times where I've turned to others for help, and all they do is accuse me of things, not offering an ounce of sympathy or listening to what I have to say, to how I feel or the pain I am going through. So I know what it is like to think you have nothing.

 

But there is always reason to keep going. You have a bunch of people right on this thread who care about you and are concerned for you. We all want to see you well, want to be able to talk to you again. We want to help you through these feelings. But if you kill yourself, none of us will have the chance. We will miss out on getting to know you, and hopefully becoming friends. And you will miss out on everything that life has to offer. As dark as things seem for you, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. I've been struggling in a world of darkness for as long as I can remember. But every so often I get a glimpse of light, and I know in my heart that things will get better. You just have to keep fighting and forging ahead until you reach the light. And you will reach it. Have faith. I know things will get better for you. And we are all here to help you.

[xtina]

James ma boy,

 

I don't know you, but I know your feelings. You surely don't want to do this. There is no point. What if you fail? Ah, that will be bad. It will hurt, your parents will know, and you life will become worst.

I think you shall meditate. Sit at the beach, close your eyes and just listen to the sea. It relaxes you. Try to live each day at a time, go for a little goal; a huge chocolate cake in the end of the month that would be my goal haha

 

I just tell you this; life sucks to everyone. everyone is living in the threat of the terrorists, but you don't see suicides everywhere, people dieing everywhere. You don't want to die, because there is so much around you that makes it not worth losing. Try to open your eyes, and apreciate the smallest things! like a birth, a cat cleaning himself, finding 5 euros on the floor... don't do it. it's not worth it.

 

Please come back to us and post something like... boo

[MI_Shell]

James I am still thinking of you and very concerned for you. There are people who really want to understand and get to know you better. Many years ago I was madly in love with a man but he did not love me. I know this pain. So much has developed and come of my life since then and to think back on him I do not see him the same way, a nice guy but not someone that causes pain not to be with. You need to just focus on one day at a time and trust me it gets easier. Each day do something good for you that enriches your life. There will be another woman for you. Just remember that myself and others genuinelly care about you and I have a lot I could share as a friend to encourage you if you ever feel like messaging me.

[Dako]

Still thinking of you, James.

[darkblue]

Look how many people care, James.

Give us a chance.

[coollady1957]

James even though you are not replying, I hope you are following the posts here. We all care for you and worry about your well being. Please let us know how are you are.