NC rules! Thanks folks

[whatif]

Hi all, I have been reading all the postings and replys here for the last two days, and I have to tell you how much it helped me to stay stronger and to keep my head up. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for religiously replying to those in need and comforting each and everyone posting here.

 

I give you a very brief outline of my situation. I was in a relationship with this most beautiful girl for a year and half and I was deeply in love with her. In December, I start seeing symptoms of withdrawal and the frequency of her calls dropped significantly. We work at the same place, but different departments. I came to find out that a new temporary employee has been entertaining her at work and she is quite enjoying it. She never went out with him or talked to him on the phone, but I found out that she was start having feelings for him. As much as I didn't want to do it, I confronted her, she admitted, I told her to have some room to think, and I broke it up on Christmas eve. (I know, bad timing, but was really furious). We talked for a long time and I admitted that I wasn't being responsive to her feelings when she was going through some tough times lately. But we started the relationship as I helped her to get through some very serious difficulties. We agreed to take a break to sort out things and be friends. To make it short, I hoped she would call me back but I realized she also wanted to get out of the relationship also. I went on a two week vecation to get away, didn't contact her, came back hoping she would call me, no calls, got really dissappointed and texted her. She said she wants to keep some distance until she don't feel so stressed out talking to me. Her email said she is feeling stronger everyday and need some time alone herself. I respected her decision. It seems like she is more proactive and energetic now that before.

 

This new guy's employement term was expired at the end of the year and he is gone from work. As far as I know, she is not going out with him and she told me to trust her one thing that she is not getting into any kind of relationship anytime soon. I still had the urge to call her and text her, but this site made me much stronger now. It has been more than a month now and i guess she wanted to breakup a long time ago. I was thinking about sending a valentines day card, nothing romantic, just a friend's valentines day card via postal mail to her house. Good Idea? (oh, ran into her last sunday at Barnes and talked for a few minutes) Any chance she might come back? I really liked her but I don't want to suffocate her if she can't stand me anymore. (we have our differences as well as likeness)

 

I love you all,

Thanks for such an outstanding voluntary counciling work.

[DN]

She asked for space and you should give it to her, The Valentine's card would probably set both of you back. She would feel pressured to respond and might not appreciate it; and you would be waiting on tenterhooks for a response.

[yme]

whatif

You say that you

started the relationship as I helped her to get through some very serious difficulties

 

Without intending to be harsh, you were a shoulder for her to cry on. Anything that might have started probably meant a great deal to you. To her, though, you were a friend who listened in her time of need, I am guessing.

 

If I have misread, I apologise. On the other hand, if I am understanding you right, I would suggest that she had no intention of forming a relationship with you, but felt that she owed you something in return for being a rock in her stormy seas. To her, you are a friend that may have come on too strong for her liking.

 

Again, if I have read your post wrong, I apologise; I reply based on my understanding of what you say.

[whatif]

You read it right yme. But she hung in there a year and half though. I guess she never was confindent in the relationship. Irony is that she came to me and told me that she has feelings for me. Although it was very unexpected, I was the happiest man on earth. When I lost her, I couldn't sleep or eat for a whole week. It seemed like my whole world was crumpling down. Now I know I am not alone. Thanks for the responses