Has anyone returned to a cheating partner?

[CC]

Just wondering, has anyone returned to a cheating partner? If yes, what happened afterwards?

[MyEyesHurt]

I have. I ened up cheating on her, then she cheated on me, it was a whole mess. Not many relationships can recover from cheating.

[LostInMyThoughts]

I 'returned' to my cheating wife.

 

Then I divorced her.

[newts]

My mum returned to my cheating dad, she ended up dumping his sorry butt after a few attempts of reconciliation and she found and married the man of her dreams, he married the horrible wench he was having one of the numerous affairs with and they are a match made in hell and are very miserable.

[darkblue]

Yes.

It didn't work out.

[Broken_Doll_ParTs]

One of my exs cheated on me and I wanted to make it work because I liked him alllllot!! So I went back to him, It didnt work...Trust was a big problem.

[GRAHAM2109]

I took mine back. He carried on cheating. I am not "with" him but finding it hard to let go. I feel my whole life has been destroyed.

[coollady1957]

I have never gone back to a cheater, but i just broke up with a cheater and will never ever ever go back to him. It seems from the posts so far here, that it never seems to really work going back to it all. I think the trust is destroyed once cheating , lying and deceit occurs. THings would never be the same in the relationship in my opinion. I have friends that have returned to cheaters in relationships and theirs never worked either after going back.

[starfish]

Went out for 2+ years with a guy who had cheated on his ex before me. He didn't tell me because he probably figured that I wouldn't go out with him. True dat. Once he told me, I knew there was never going to be an us again. Cheating is not excusable - no matter how depressed or messed up you are. If you can't work things out, get out of the relationship. Don't cheat and use that as a way to get out of the relationship. And yes from the posts here it looks like going back to a cheater doesn't work. Not only does it raise issues of trust and lack of confidence, it provokes us to act in ways that we wouldn't otherwise act. My 2 cents.

[fishrrshortae]

I have been cheated on a lot ... I never went back to any of them because even regardless of the cheating, they weren't really worth it anyways.

[yeawutever]

Never ever go back to a cheating partner, I wouldn't.

[bit3yerlip]

yes i returned back to my partner who cheated on me once, but it was reli fun making him suffer. everytime i make him cry n beg me back i feel great. it took him long for me to give him another chance. I was smart enough to make him buy me things like a handphone or clothes so incase if he cheats on me again, atleast i got got stuff and hes got his $$$ lost. now hes really treating me well. he respects me and im very happy being with him. Altho he knows i hardly trust him, hes determined and willing to be patient n help me with the trust. yeah. sh1t, i hate it when i think of what he did to me. it sucks like hell.

[Lonelyinasmalltown]

I went back to a cheating partner too. She was real sorry and wanted to work things out, for about 2 weeks, then she cheated on me again with the same guy.

 

Now, I never go near cheaters, if I get cheated on again, it's goodbye.

[RayKay]

After my mum's experience, there is no way I ever would forgive someone whom cheated on me.

 

She was cheated on by my bio dad...she found out about one affair, and gave him a second chance (it was with the neighbour...so they moved to another house in other part of city). Then he was cheating again with someone else, while mum was pregnant with my baby sister. Whom knows how many other instances there were. He left my mum along with two kids (I was 7, brother was 2) and one on the way to be with his mistress, stating "he was not ready for the responsibilities of family and marriage" (after three kids and 8 years mind you) and telling my mum my sister was not "his" (and she most certainly was as my mom NEVER cheated, and she looks just like the rest of us!).

 

He married the mistress within a year and had another child. They are still together.

 

Ugh, it was only as I got older I realized how horrible it all way, and how much it hurt and destroyed my mum at the time.

 

But she met someone else about half a year later, my stepfather, and they have been together 20+ years, he is extremely supportive, loving AND faithful!

 

After typing this I wonder why I even feel bad for having a pretty non-existent relationship with my dad.....(basically his choice), I know my sister hates him (I wonder why!), my brother loves him but it's strained...I just feel sad for him really....he does not call me Christmas, he calls me on my birthday and he is always so proud he "never forgets it"...he does not call after my boyfriend died, he does not call after finding out my mum is ill....he's my dad so I love him but...I could never ever get myself involved again with a cheater knowing all of this, I hate to say it, but he really is selfish. But I mostly just feel pity for him, for the way he hurt others, for not being in touch with his children, for being so unwilling to pay a measly bit of child support to help my mum out, things like that. Ugh.

 

Sorry, got off topic!

[Confused1981]

I did once 2 and it worked for 6 months then she did it again i walked away, but how about if u split up with ur partner they went with some1 else then asked for u back, wud any1 get back with some1 after that?

[mitchy_bn]

Well, I don't know if I were to return if he really were to cheat, think u gotta be in that moment.

[coollady1957]

I have posted here on this topic once already, but came back to see how the later replies have been going. When i was here the first time it seemed as thought the GOING BACK never seems to work out in the end. ANd today, that still seems to be the case. MOst who have returned to cheaters, ending up parting anyway down the line. I think its probably very detrimental to ever return to those kind of people. It only wastes time.

[strong_rebirth]

So he cheated on me once...and I took him back after some time and voila....the same time elapsed (a couple of year) and he did it again. Here I am again---broken up and sad.

 

I guess as most of the experiences and articles here imply, it doesn't work out. He and I seemed to be rebuilding that trust but he began conceiling his true feelings and hence strayed. He's younger than I and less experienced...

 

Forgive me for being the optimistic one (even in my current pain) but I feel that one day we could potentially be together again. We'll grow in the coming years (i.e. see others, etc.) but I think we might end up together.

 

This does not mean that I am holding out for this to happen because we might completely evolve into different people but I always have hope. Just like to have some faith.

[ycmanvs]

I am in the process of going back to a cheater. I am not sure if it is the wisest choice. I am keeping my options open and seeing if he has changed at all.

[ttran]

i also am trying to forgive a cheater. everything is fine until i have thoughts about it. then things get messed up again.

[Rum]

I accepted her back, after she told me of her affair. Not right away mind you, we took a couple of months off.

It was very hard, but we have a long history together and she messed up. She knows it and regrets it a lot, and suffered for it.

 

Anyway, we now continuilly work on our marriage and things are better than before in many ways. We had become complacent. Now it's a steady process but it has rewards.

 

Will it last 2 months or 2 years or 20? Not sure, but for now it's good.

 

-Rum

[anggrace]

I returned to a very deciteful and dishonest partner. Yes, I regret it. I do believe in second chances, but not third or fourths.

[greensleeves]

I took back my spouse who cheated on me while I was pregnant. I tried to make it work but never fully trusted him after that and I was right not to because he cheated again.

[dqueen]

My ex cheated on me about 5 years ago...last year, he came back into my life and I decided to give it another chance. It did not work out. What a mistake it was to take him back! I left him 7 months ago and it's the best thing I've ever done for myself. I cannot give my heart to someone who is toxic and manipulative of my feelings.

[mrmaximum]

I have posted here on this topic once already, but came back to see how the later replies have been going. When i was here the first time it seemed as thought the GOING BACK never seems to work out in the end. ANd today, that still seems to be the case. MOst who have returned to cheaters, ending up parting anyway down the line. I think its probably very detrimental to ever return to those kind of people. It only wastes time.

 

I too took back my cheating ex, it was at a time in our relationship where things where going pretty well. Then things slowly began to erode into a really harsh reality where I was the last in the pecking order behind the mouse in the wall. I don't have proof that she was cheating on me again, but I do have some clues here and there. I had no choice but to leave, as much as it hurt her three kids to see the back of my head that last time, it wasn't worth it for me to be treated like a throw rug!!

 

I'm somewhat like raykay as my father cheated on my mother twice and that pretty much cemented my feelings on cheating, it hurts, it's unnecesary, and IT IS A CHOICE. The one thing that people have to realize is that the whole idea of marriages thriving after infidleity isn't realistic. Sure there are some that can make it, TechResQ is a great example, but as you can tell from all the posts here so far that this is actually the exception, and not the rule.

 

This is why I respect all who stay and try to work it out, but I ALWAYS recomend leaving. Trust NEVER returns 100% after infidelity!!