Her mom doesnt want her to be with me nemore

[p0w3RFuL]

MY gf's mom is very shady and mean.. She will make fun of her own children(20 years+) because they are over weight... She also down talks me when im not around to my gf.. saying how im raised by white trash, and i have problems that i will never fix... Currently i go to highschool and work everyday, i paid for my own car, and i pay my own bills. I work from 3:00-6:30 which doesnt leave much time for spending with my gf on the weekdays so i like to see her as much as possible..

 

This has come to the point where her mom is giving my girlfriend a prob when she wants to go out now, her mom will say she just wants to sleep and go to bed, but the same day she can take her to her dance lessons out of nowere at 7:00....

 

She also made my gf go to dance class's just because she says she revolves her life around me..

 

My gf's mom goes to the casino ALL THE TIME and never has food in the frige mayb sum slices of ham and milk.. they must go out to eat if thye are real hungry..

 

My gf's mom is calling me alot of names recently behind my back... she also is not letting my gf go out that much or gives her a huge argument if she does.. One time it got so bad with her gambling that i had to drive all the way out to the casino just to give her money to get out of ballet (8 dollars)

 

She tries to prusuade my gf into not dating me nemore telling her that all i want is sex (which me and my gf laugh at) Basicaly her mom is making up nonsense just so she can get rid of me... my gf's mom is single and loney i dont know what the hell to do im so fed up with all this, i want to date a girl i can see more often not just a few hours after work mayb... HER MOM IS A PAIN IN THE A**!!!!!!!!! I STRONGLY DISLIKE HER I USED TO DO EVERYTHING FOR HER AND NOW SHE TALKS SO MUCH STUFF ABOUT ME ITS INSANE

[xmrth]

A friend of mine is engaged to a guy in which her parents really really dislike-- but it's because of differences in religion, and some other things they don't like about him, such as in your situation, aren't true.

 

What got them to get along was they all sat down together and had a talk. And her dad REALLY really disliked her fiance, and for a father who I think in most cases can be worse than a mother, was forgiving and accepting.

 

I think her mother sounds like she's got some problems-- it's obvious as you know. Some things she may never get help on, and some things may never change... you could try to arrange for the 3 of you to sit down and talk about how you feel.

 

If you think that won't happen and is out of the question, then do you love her enough that you're willing to put up with this? As long as your girlfriend doesn't succumb to what her mother is telling her, then you have to realize you may always have to put up with it.

Is she 18, and are you? She won't be under her mother's roof forever-- but don't rush to go get engaged or live together just to get her out of there. Some people do that... I don't think my friend did, but I'm just thinking of what may go through your mind when I mentioned she wouldn't always be under her mother's roof.

[p0w3RFuL]

Im 17 she is 16

 

I love her, but alot of things need to change.. She cant even talk on the phone past her 'bedtime' its like what ever her mom tells her to do SHE MUST DO.. Her mom is soo annoying, when we eat out to dinner together she will tell my gf that the way she is eating is rude (twirling her alfredo with a fork the way ur supposta do right??) Neways she tells her to do it this way, and she cannot eat unless she does that..im just looking at my self while i eat saying wow is it really rude? do people really look and care?? who cares?

 

When she is with her mom things are so diff while on the phone she will hang up and explain later that her mom walked in and had to talk to her or she had to go watch tv with her..

 

 

Is it me, or is this alot to deal with?? All i want to do is spend time with my gf when i want to, of course not everyday but every other day and the week end..weve been dating for 7 months now and i used to spend alot of time with her mom and her mom used to say good things about me..now things have gone down

 

 

Do you guys think im having to deal with alot?? if my gf is going to keep her rude ness when i want to talk to her about this im going to leave the relationship, and i swear to this alot of stuff has happened the past week and i know its getting bad, shes made sum pretty dumb mistakes on her vacation and was horribly rude to me..

[xmrth]

Do you have even a slight clue as to how it all changed? Was there anything you could have done-- even if it may sound like a long-shot?

 

Personally, I think it is very much to have to deal with, and that's where your commitment to one another comes into play and how important the relationship is to the both of you.

If there's things that your girlfriend herself is doing that you're not happy about, then that does make the situation different. But are they things because of her mother, or are they things she did on her own as you said she's made mistakes?

 

I think if you can fix what is between just the two of you, then you can decide more about the situation with what her mother allows... because I think as long as the relationship itself is worth it enough to you then that could help you decide.

 

What are the other problems?

[p0w3RFuL]

Well i got caught by my step dad sleeping over her house when i wasnt suppost to, but her mom only knows that my step dad came to the house looking for me because i was late for school *i didnt wake up on time to go to school ontime*

 

So thats what did it for the most part, but she has been trying to get my gf to break up with me for months, even during the summer.. she would say that school is about to start and its time u end this relationship...

 

I just went on 4 day vacation with her mom and her and her aunt (her moms sister) and things were great i had so much fun with my gf...

 

I do love my gf very much, but if she does not feel the same way to me then i will not fight for this to work.. because i feel like im the lone wolf trying to see her.. i know she tries hard but like tonight she is just like u should just go home and didnt explain why just that she will be busy so i had to call her back asking what happened.

[xmrth]

It really sounds like her mother is clouding her mind... If I were you, I would still try to keep things together and help her to make sure she's making her own decisions, and not those of her mother's.

 

I think you'll see where it will go in the coming weeks because she will either listen to what her mother tells her and it will continue or end, or you yourself will have enough. I don't know all the circumstances, but there could also be a chance things could get better; the sleeping over thing may or may not be what did it in as after that you all went on a vacation, right?

 

I always think people should try until there's *really* no hope left in saving it. I think that's how you will always know that you did all you could. Like I said, I think you'll see where it's going for sure in the weeks to come as it's at this point.

[Tigris]

It sounds to me as though she's jealous of you for taking up her daughter's time. Time that she could spend with her. But her main jealousy comes from the fact that her daughter's got a relationship with a guy and she hasn't!

 

If you love the girl then you're just going to have to put up with the hassle from her Mother, otherwise all you are going to do is cause more arguments.

 

Are you old enough to move in together?

[registered]

Her Mum is more than lonely... she sounds like she is mentally ill and doesn't do a suitable job of being a mother - what do you think?

 

Her mother should see a psychiatrist... there isn't much chance of that happening though (unless you can know of a way...) and so I don't think you can avoid her in any way.

 

I like Tigris' suggestion of moving in together... it is a HUGE thing to do and shouldn't be taken lightly or without immense consideration. But if you two are in love then it will be good for both of you to get away from her mother and her control.

Could she move into your house (I assume you live with your parents..). Do you have any friends she could move in with? What about some relatives of hers? Or relatives of your own?

 

What does the girl think of her mother? Does she realise that she isn't all there? Surely she can't enjoy her life as it is... if she doesn't she should try and change it.

 

You two are relatively young (I'm assuming she's about high school age too) and changing your life dramatically at such a young age is not good and is very hard - but when it is the best option then it should be done. Do you think it is the best option?

[p0w3RFuL]

Hey. I know it would not be possible for her to move in with me or anywhere else. Her dad lives in puerto rico and he checks up every now n then.. he sends child support but my gf says her mom just uses it for gambling..

 

My gf and i read this last night after she begged her mom to see me for an hour or so, and we went to my topic and read.. she said everything on it was true..

 

I know parents can be controling.. my mom used to do it when she lived with me, but she would never do it to this extent..

 

My gf feels that she cant do anythign about it, and i asked her last night if we would see each other tomorrow, she replies ''Maybe i dont want to promise anything that wont happen" i hate that, i wish there could be a definate on when i can see her. Me and my gf dont go out to parties, all we do it go to movies, or play pool or bowling, or chil at my house or go out to dinner or other stuff.. No drugs, nothing bad.

 

I feel as well that there is nothing my gf can do about this.. I just find it amazing on how controling her mom is, and how acceptive of it she is (she says she has to do it) Last night we told each other we love e.o and want to fight threw this hard point.. I was at her house around 9 and i had to leave by 10. at ten her mom kept saying 'its 10 oclock in spanish' and my gf said ok i know hes leaving, her mom would repeat it a lil after that. i left at 10:05

 

She has to even ask to walk my to my car, and when she did her mom said 'come here' so i had to wait.. basicaly i walked my self to the car and my gf came out and said bye and we talked on the phone at night quietly.

 

We do things against her moms will, like go to my house or go to my families house with out her mom knowing or we basicaly just say we going to the moveis when we will actualy go do something else because her mom might not let her do it

 

I think that the way i was raised is totaly differnt form my gf's.. As were when i was 5 i was able to ride the school bus to school in kindergarden, basicaly i was raised to have manners, respect, and to have responsibilities at a young age. I grew up with my mom like my gf is doing with hers.. I had to play the 'man' role of the house at a youung age about 10 or so, so i was always having to have the responsibility of staying home alone when she was at work and feeding my self (it was no prob)