do guys hate it when girls hang up on them?

[SeaBisquit]

my bf and i just got in a huge fight over the phone. he made me so mad that i slammed the phone down on him. i later tried to call him back to apologize and he won't answer the phone now and i know he is home. how bad is this from a guys point of view?

[DN]

More important is what the fight was about. But yeah, it can be seen as very rude - like you are hanging up on the relationship. Or very immature. But mostly peope get over it.

[darkblue]

It does get to me. I've had it done a few times, and there's nothing more frustrating when I'm trying to talk things out.

[miracle29]

I'd have to agree. Why would I want to stay on the phone with someone who is being a jerk, or worse screaming in my ear and not letting me get a word in edge wise. I would hang up in a heart beat and wouldnt dare call them back until i had atleast a day or two to calm down. I don't think you should have to stand and listen to someones verbal abuse..its not always the wrong thing to hang up on someone if they are going off on you and the conversation isnt helping anyone. Its just fueling the fire! I'd rather hang up and than relax and maybe discuss it when we are both calm.

 

I think the only mistake you made was hanging up and then calling him right back. You put the ball in his court and gave him the wrong message. If he did something that made you that mad, how will he learn his lesson if you call him to apologize. Who is wrong here? Who made the mistake? You or him? If he did it then you hung up to say something to him. The message you first sent was "You jerk, i don't have to put up with this" but then when you called him back you said "uhhh I can't live without you or your mistreatment please talk to me..". This confuses him. You have to make a choice and make a stern one. Once you hang up on someone, you have to mean it. You can't do it and play games because you never know if that person may or may not call your bluff. (Not accusing you of playing games, just giving a tid bit for you as well). Keep in mind that you have to stand by your decisions even if your a little shakey on them at first. YOu have to send one message. Not two!

[DN]

There is no reason to hang up. You can at least say 'goodbye, I'll talk to you when we have both calmed down'. Hanging up merely provokes more anger and is unlikely to make matters better.

[NR498E]

You should never hang up on your boyfriend.Its ok to get mad,but its never ok to get mean.Hangnig up is just mean.

[here2understand2]

yup it sure is frustating but happens..i mean I've hung up on girls too in the middle of a fight..maybe he's just taking a time out so that he doesnt end up being mad if you talk to him now..so I'd say just give it time and then maybe in a day or two..call him up again..if he's not home then leave a message aplogising for you hanging the phone and see if he wants to talk again..if he does then you'll know sooner than later and If he doesnt then I guess its curtains.

[miracle29]

This is rediculous. If someone is screaming at you, they can't hear you say "I'm going to hang up now" because they are not listening. So hanging up on them when you can't even get through to them is not a crime. Period point blank. I can see if you were making it a habit and everytime you got mad at them "bam hang up time" but once in a blue moon when talking is not working, Hanging up is not the end of the world. And if they are that sensitive, maybe they should think before they scream in you ear.

 

 

Personally, i'd rather someone hang up on me then curse me out and say things in the midst of their anger. Usually once a person has calmed down, they can talk to you with more respect and less emotion. I'd rather hear the dial tone then "Die, go to hell" or worse. The dial tone never broke anyones heart. If anything, it can save a relationship by eliminating words that once they come out..never can be taken back.

 

Most people when they get emotional they say what ever is on the top of their heads. So hanging up could actually help the two of you. Unless you have the person who goes psyco and balistic and calls the answering machine to curse you out that way. Then you have even more of an issue.

[miracle29]

P.S. I am not saying that when you are in a calm argument or just a disagreement that its ok to just hang up and run away. I'm speaking specifically to those who are trying to work things out and the person on the other end simply refuses to listen to you or calm down and let you speak.

 

If the conversation is respectful and the two of you are not screaming and flying off the handle then its only fair to hear the person out or let them know you will be going for what ever reason. So again, this is not about the polite argument. I think i clearly stated that in my first post..but just in case....

[DN]

my bf and i just got in a huge fight over the phone. he made me so mad that i slammed the phone down on him. i later tried to call him back to apologize and he won't answer the phone now and i know he is home. how bad is this from a guys point of view?

This is what Seabisquit said in her original post. It sounds to me as if she was the one who lost her temper and hung up on him. No talk about screaming. Let's not exaggerate what the poster says to make a point, let's deal with what we are asked about.

[miracle29]

I would hope that no one is that closeminded, to think that a hang up can only occur one way. I remember someone asked her what the fight was about and she did not elaborate, so its not me making another topic out of nothing, she didnt specify.

 

Anyone one can see that making a few points is actually very healthy for her. So she doesnt just see ONE point of view. God forbid if we all thought alike. But lets not hog her whole post and make this into a Drama fest. I think she can benifit from seeing things from quite a few different views. Thanks.

[Mun]

So why did you hang up on him?

 

edit: I'll hang up on someone if they're being an A**...

[DN]

I was not being at all close minded nor am I making a drama. I was actually suggesting that less drama would be a good thing all round, which is why I think hang-ups are not a good idea, dramatic though they might be.

 

The fact that someone may disagree with you does not make them close-minded - it just means that they disagree.

[miracle29]

I don't think i put a name or a label on the word "closeminded".

 

Anyhow, I totally agree with you Mun. If a person MAN OR WOMAN is being an..... * * * * * then you have two choices.. 1. Sit there and take the abuse" or 2. Free yourself from the drama. I think sometimes seperating yourself from the conversation is safe as well as less dramatic. Sitting on the phone for hours and hours when you are not getting anywhere can be draining as well as emotional abuse. Calming down is healthier. But to each is own. I personally have never lost a man for hanging up on them. Nor has a man lost me for that reason alone. People can say some very hurtful things to you on the phone or in person, i'd rather give them some time to think if over and cool down before things get too far. Hanging up on them once in a blue moon may provide that opportunity.

[miracle29]

I too would like to hear more about what the fight was actually about. It had to be something pretty bad for her to get angry enough to hang up. Most people don't want to hang up just out of the blue, usually something very hurtful has been said. I'd like to hear more about this.

 

In addition i'd like to make the point that its not just MEN who don't want to be hung up on, WOMEN don't like it either. But if a man or a woman can't respect you while on the phone with them, then they can't expect respect from you when they don't supply it themselves. Respect is a two way street.

[DN]

Sometimes true - but it does not automatically follow that something hurtful was said in anger by the other person. Sometimes people hang up simply because they don't get their own way and it is they themselves that have lost their temper, the other person may have been calm and rational just not complaisant.

[miracle29]

Good point, never debated that, but until she tells us the specifics we can't honestly give a "specific" answer. I agree that it is annoying as well as selfish for a person to just hang up because they didnt get their way. That is not fair, and in that case if someone did that to me, it would be a few days before I'd give them my time and energy again. But then again, i have a lot more self control then some when i'm angry. Actually quite a while back when I was not married, I was dating a man who hung up on me because I told him i could not come over to his home and sleep with him. Needless to say, he called me back about three times that night, but after his little temper tantrum it turned me off so badly, I dropped him like a hot potato.

 

Then you have my husband who hung up on me because I totally deserved it. I was drinking heavily with my friends (Something I rarely did back then or ever did) and I could not hold my booze. I threw a temper tantrum because of something I had no facts about and he tried to get me to calm down. I just went on and on and ranted and raved and eventually he said "There is no getting through to you" and he hung up". I threw an even worse temper tantrum but its a good thing he did it because I would have only said something very stupid and he gave me time to calm down. He finally contacted me a few hours later and the conversation went so much better.

 

I have also hung up on in a few years back when he was drunk and screaming at me and I simply could not get him to hear me at all. He just refused to let me speak. At that point I said "Are you finished" and he said "No, i'm just getting started" and I said "well I am" and hung up. I didnt speak to him for two days after that but that was the last time we "both" were so rude on the phone to each other.

 

Now if he was going on and on and cursing her out or something to that affect then hanging up ...well you get the point.

[SeaBisquit]

i found out that he had been in touch with his ex. at first when he kept calling me i wouldn't answer any of his calls because i didn't know how to handle it. he told me things were over him and his ex, but really they are not. so i was very hurt. so when he tried to explain i knew he was lying so i hung up. so now he is mad that i hung up. basically i having a hard time dealing with his ex.

[SeaBisquit]

your probably right. but i'm not going to easily forget. i have been down this road to many times.

[Mun]

So since you found out he is lying to you... Does this mean you are going to break up with him?

 

Will you ever trust him?

[SeaBisquit]

hi mun, yes i'm in the no trusting mode. can't trust guys anymore!

[p0w3RFuL]

Theres nothing more to get me mad than my gf hanging up on me when were argueing over the phone..Recently i tried to talk things out with her because she got irrational over sumthing i dont know of, i think it was due to her mom and we hadnt seen each other in awhile.. Reguardless my gf hung up on me several times and turned off her phone, thats got to be the biggest anger point i can get to her sometimes i scream foul languages because im trying to get my feelings out and tell her how i feel and she hangs up on me saying rude things and turning off her phone so i cannot contact her until SHE is willing to turn her phone on.

 

 

Summing it up: Hanging up is VERY immature, not a good way to fix problems, it just creates more anger and things get more hostil ex: You have some nerve hanging up on me. Simply fix the problems on the phone or see e.o in person.. or say you will talk to the person when you are calm.

[Huntsman]

This is excellent situation!

 

Very exciting for me.

If a girl hangs up on me - no I do not take any more calls from her.

 

But the fact that they, and YOU!, will always call back afterwards, states you see the man's value as greater than your own!

 

Chicks live on emotional highs in the moment. So they do stuff like slamming phones down. They must *earn* the right to have me be nice to them though afterwards! ;-)

[ComputerGuy]

That would depend. If the guy was being argumentative or not being rational - even if it didn't involve yelling or screaming, then no, she shouldn't have to earn back his being nice. He should be the one earning back her being nice.

[MRSinPA]

In my experience, hanging up on a guy during a "heated conversation" is the emotional equivalent of kicking them in the balls. It takes them a bit to recover.