Somebody Slap Me!

[CC]

Hi everyone. I've been out of these forums for over a year now. I used to be active on the "getting back together" thread but now I got new problems. Here is what's going on. Any comments would be great.

 

I met this guy a year ago and things were great at the beginning. As months went by I knew things were a little suss. I stupidly ignored it but a couple of weeks ago, I learnt the art of snooping (which I am not really proud of)

• he went to another state with a female friend he's known his whole life, while she left the place they were staying at, he took photos of her underwear in her luggage (isn't that a little peverted?)
  
• i went though his emails and found hundreds of email addresses of girls with raunchy email addys (obvious what he gets up to)
  
• also in his emails, was updates on these singles websites where he offered his number and suggested to meet up with these girls and even worse casual sex - i checked the dates and these were while we were together
  
• he likes to whinge about me to his friends on this car club forum so all his friends hate me
  
• he's a photographer and loves taking pics of women
  
• he's got a girl friend he constantly takes pics of - some a little raunchy on his car
  
• he's got a spare phone full of numbers from girls
  
• he constantly puts his phone on silent in front of me
  
• he's got print outs of dirty txt messages
  
• his phone has random numbers with no name in his address book

hhmm..typing this sorta makes me feel so stupid. He moved to Sydney with me 6 months ago and most of that time, he was living off me. He left Sydney today and i feel so stupid for missing him. Any feedback would be great guys.

[MissJones]

Wow. The words I want to use to describe him would definitely not be allowed on this forum. He is one nasty piece of work who doesn't deserve a good woman like yourself. He doesn't deserve your energy.

 

Have you tried to make a list of pros and cons of this guy? I just noticed your signature and he definitely wouldn't fit any of those qualities of a good relationship. I'm sure if you made a list and kept looking at it regularly, you'd find that soon enough you'll see him for the person he really is - or isn't.

 

While it's only natural to miss a person, no matter how badly they've treated you, what you probably miss more than anything is the person you thought he was or the person you wanted him to be. You probably thought he was Mr Wonderful when you met him but we all get sucked in by those first impressions, which can sometimes be hard to shake. The truth is, the person you initially fell for is not the real him. He's showed his true colours now and they're not pretty at all.

 

My advice: tell him to come back to Sydney, take him to Summernats and run him over

[CC]

Thanks for that MissJones. I do admit that I shouldn't snoop but everytime I find something, I keep looking for more and when I do its never good.

 

I'm feeling numb, not as sick as my previous break up but just numb. Am I just blabbering on here? Help!?!

[ravens_folly]

I'd say, hit the road jack and don't come back!!!

He is an * * * * * * *!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and thats all there is to it.

 

So missing him would be normal... but too bad for him... you are taking control and even if you miss him you know you are WAY better off without the lying mooch!!

[yeawutever]

Ok, wut's up with the bad guys that most girls tend to stay with? That's wut I'm noticing, wut really is so especial about them, I don't get it?

Plain, simple, he has none of the qualities ur descriving of a relation, he's a low life * * * * * * *, not worthy of ur respect. I f u know he's like that and won't change, then why r u with him, drop with like a hot potato.

[Hope75]

Are you still with him?

 

I guess for me that was a little unclear.

 

If you are, it seems to me you have a prett good list there of why you can't trust him and why now is a good time to end it.

 

If it were one of these things and otherwise he was a good guy, perhaps it would warrent a little more investigation before deciding what to do... but based on all those things, you have pretty much confirmed he's cheating, or at the very least, completely disrespecting you and the relationship.

 

What are you waiting for?

[CC]

Thanks a million guys..reading what you guys think makes me feel much better - like a warm blanket.

 

We didn't really say much what happens now. I wont be back in Perth til next month but here's what I emailed him.

 

 

 
If I could turn back time, I would have tried to make you turn to me in times of need and frustration, but in reality, you turned to others, You neglected me as if I did not exist. I do not understand why you do this. I looked at your adult and aussie match maker messages and I am absolutely disgusted. You kept up your flirting, gave out your number, offered to meet up and even worse, offered to have casual sex.

I am so angry at myself for having feelings for someone as low as you. This hurts so much and I do wish things were different. In the past year I have known you, you became my other half and most of all, you became my best friend - obviously you didn't feel the same.

Let's stop this now once and for all. This so called relationship has caused enough pain and tears. I want nothing to do with you now

[poke]

Well done CC. Now you just have to follow it though.

 

Hope things work...

[CC]

thanks so much everyone

 

i woke up really refreshed today - i feel liberated. big weight off my shoulders. somehow tonight i just went downhill. i'm sad again. when will this end?

 

i dont feel as sick as i did from my previous break up so i'm just really confused.

[Hope75]

You feel refreshed because this unhealthy relationship was probably hurting you alot more than you realized.

 

Remember something important. He was NOT your other half.

 

We are each a WHOLE person, and another WHOLE person can ADD to our lives, but they cannot make it for us. Only WE can do that.

 

((HUGS))

[RayKay]

Oh wow CC, I missed this post yesterday but all I can say is....GOOD RIDDANCE!

 

He sounds like PURE scum, and that was the absolute nicest thing I could say. He has little respect for you, any women in general, and it is pretty apparent he was less then faithful.

 

I would get yourself tested for STD's pretty soon. It won't be pleasant, but you need to do it. I have high suspicions there was some cheating going on from the dates (which were even made with sex in mind by my guesses) and his trip, and other things.

 

You probably feel good at times as a weight HAS been lifted. There is no doubt you felt something was not right, and you even saw it in the end. Also no doubt you felt insecure, and mistrustful (with good reason!). But that does not mean you won't grieve, and feel betrayed and sad at times too. This is a LOT of stuff to sort through emotionally, and it will have you feeling down sometimes too. But sweetie, this guy HAD to go. He was horrible to you, even if you were not always aware of it, he was betraying you.

 

Stay strong, you deserve better! Believe in that, and it will come.

[CC]

hello everyone, the first 24 hours without him is over. i am slowly feeling sad now but in the back of my head i keep reminding myself what he's done to me.

 

his phone statement arrived and there was one phone number he kept calling and messaging - he kept telling me before that he hasn't messaged her since the last time i caught him receiving dirty messages but his phone statement was for december.

 

feeling angry and stupid today.

 

any nice men out there?

[Hope75]

There are LOTS of nice men out there.

 

Spend some time on your own, let yourself heal, get used to the idea that you are worth being faithful to and being loved by, and then get out there and start meeting them!

[CC]

here's the update..

 

he finds this forum pathetic and said that its probably run by fat chicks or 15 year olds...my reply was "just like your car club"...

 

he insists on staying friends when i get back to perth but i really dont think i can handle it..he thinks everything he did was harmless....why do i always end up with the bad ones?

[poke]

Not all Perthie boys are tossers... I promise!!

[CC]

well well well let me introduce everyone to chris, one of his friends. this the the so called "maturity" i was talking about.

[CC]

matty said it was you. stay out of it chris.

[Lonelyinasmalltown]

Hey,

 

CC has a serious issue. Honestly, I think she's handling everything very admirably. I don't think it's too funny to highjack her thread. If that was her ex and his friend, yeah, you've pretty much proved that she's better off without you.

 

CC there a tons of nice guys out there, you just have to keep an eye out for them. Don't worry, you'll find someone who's worth your love. Just don't rush into anything right away, spend some time with yourself. Rushing in usually only gives you the jerks.

 

Edit: I'm glad to see the rude hijack was deleted

[Hope75]

CC if your ex thinks this site is run by ugly 15 year olds tell him to look on the front page at the photo section.

 

It's sad that he feels the need to act so immature and attack you for seeking support. It shows how insecure he really is.

 

If it happens again you can report him to avman or Kamurj and he will be banned.

[annie24]

Hey CC - I think you did the right thing. That didn't sound like a good relationship at all. You seem like a beautiful, great girl, worthy of so much more.

 

And yes, like Hope said, check out the photos on the front page and you'll see we're a good looking, exciting, vibrant bunch of people

[CC]

thanks guys.

 

great to see his friend's out of this post, i'm sure there will be more..its gonna get interesting.

 

well last night he was online and we chatted a bit then minutes later i lost it when i read what his fellow idiot wrote on this forum...so i called his mum and told her more dirt (more like truth) about her son..she should be so proud...

 

he's tried to call me but i didn't pick up...there's been strange voice and text messages from him. this really is confusing. why contact me?

[annie24]

Oh, who knows and who cares? If he hasn't got anything better to do with him time than to taunt you....

 

Just don't pick up the phone. Go out with your girlfriends. Delete e-mails.

[Hope75]

Hey CC,

 

OK, not the best idea to call his mother. You are too big for that, and you need to be the better person and show some class in this breakup.

 

Your 'friend' already proved his idiocy to us and we know that you are waaaaaaayyy better off now that he's gone, but be strong girl and don't stoop to his level!

 

When you do that you just feed the flames, know what I mean?

[Sadmoop]

I agree about the mother thing.......but, there has been a couple of times I wanted to go over there and slap her for the * * * * she bought into this world...........never have.......probably never could............anyway I found out a long time after he had his affairs that his mother travelled to one of the so called affairs city and actually he had set up a nice coffee luncheon so that his mother could pratice her German with is "friend". You are handling this very well......I am someone who is very down right now and in a bad situation but, I was truly impressed. Well done.

 

I can't give any advice......I would not feel right. But, I am happy to see you not loose it........very brave young lady indeed. An inspiration!

[CC]

reasons i called his mum was that i was furious about what his friend posted on the forum...and i asked her to tell him and his friends to leave me alone...also i mentioned that i wanted my money back for the months he was living off me - rent and living expenses

 

i am so angry that he was doing so much behind my back while i was providing for both him and i.

 

i have been getting messages and calls that i dont pick up from him. i'm thinking of maybe changing my number.