He is leaving me forever now

[selfi]

please help me, my ex just called me and told me he wants to have permanent NC, and doesnt want to see me again

for those who dont know heres my (longish) story:

 

im an absolute wreck, he has surprised me with this i feel so bad that im numb to everything thats going around me.

i cant even cry.

 

he said im just bringing him down and dont make him happy. i have been going through other personal problems as of late (mainly my family may go bankrupt) and have confided in him and looked to him for support.

but he doesnt want to put up with it anymore.

 

my minds a mess right now, i dont know if im making sense,he wants to meet up tomorrow so he can say goodbye forever, but im so scared it will just hurt more.

 

just two days ago he was saying how we are going to work through things, we were laughing and had dinner together.

 

please i need some help and guidence, i never knew it was possible to love and hate somebody so much at once, but what he is doing to me now is the final straw. i feel exhausted, like im gonna pass out.

 

so many of you were urging me to go NC, as of late, and im spewing that i didnt do it, coz now he has and ,,well,,, icant even find a describing word to how i feel right now.

 

should i see him tomoro? should i yell at him for all the ways he has strung me around for 3 months?

 

ill listen to the advice i get this time i promise.

[newts]

There is a fine line between love and hate in a break up. I would say this relationship is hurting you more than it is good for you.

 

I would say not matter what happens tomorrow, you go no contact, let him know if he is serious about making things right with you, you will be there for him , however, if he keeps up his half butt efforts of reconcilation you are not intersted. Tell him if he wants you it's all or nothing, if he can't give you all you want, you want nothing.

 

He is not respecting you at the moment and you deserve nothing but respect. It's hard giving up someone you love however, if you can move above and beyond him, you be sooo much better off.

[SuperDuper]

I would say, do not go tomorrow.

He wants to have closure in this, so he can move on. But this isn't about him, it's about you and how you feel.

 

If you feel that tomorrow's meeting will only hurt and break you down even more, definatley do not go. Tell him that if he doesn't want to talk to you, you'll respect that, and goodbye.

 

The ONLY way to move on, is to be happy and confident in your own life, and not needing him to make you feel better.

[nataliejulie]

selfi --

 

The best thing for both of you is NC. Maybe it's hard for him to make up his mind because he hasn't had enough time to live his life without you in the picture. Keeping someone like him, so close to you, when he's so confused is an experience not worth the effort. He will do what he wants, when he wants.

[Bethany]

I agree with SuperDuper. Tomorrow is all about him. If it was me, I'd stay strong or maybe even tell him I have a date.

From now on, the future calls and the future is all about you and what YOU need, not him.

[LiquidCherry]

Don't go tomorrow selfi. Don't let him torture you even just one more time. Write him out of your life for good and take a step towards regaining your pride and self worth. This has been drug out long enough and he doesn't deserve to get the last word in. Don't let him do it.

NC, NC, NC!!

[selfi]

Ive just come back from work now and I must admit Im still sort of in denial that Im never going to speak to him again. (I will HAVE to see him in class at the start of March though but ill worry about that when it comes)

Its like I dont fully realise this is going to happen, especially since as of late we were planning to do many different things these hols.

 

I had a feeling he would do this after his NYE night. The thing with him is that he has this fickle attitude towards his social life. As soon as people start calling him to go out, he'll build up his confidence again to shut me out, because he doesnt feel lonely or unpopular anymore and he gets his much needed validation . Anyway analysing him is useless.

 

I know either him or ill call him tonight regarding meeting up. Partr of me really wants to hear what he has to say to me. It will be some sort of soppy goodbye predictably.

 

I havent had any sleep. I cant believe things have ended up like this. On the phone last night I said to him "Just two days ago you were saying on how we are going to work on things, you cant just change your mind like that!"

"Yes I can." He replied bluntly

 

[selfi]

we decided not to meet up, he knew it was a bad idea to do so. we said goodbye over the phone.

 

i did tell him that i will be there for him if he ever wants to make things right, just like you told me newts.

 

I also told him how I truly feel about him and what he has given me. And I did that because I wanted to, without any other intentions.

I didnt shed a tear over the phone. (unlike now) I stayed strong,coz whenever I felt like crying I looked at my computer screen with all the advice you guys have given me and then i thought clearly again. But he was crying thats for sure

 

During the talk he thanked me for everything I had given him; for believing in him, for being there always even though at times he felt he didnt deserve it. He told me he kept checking his phone to see if I had called today. He said in his heart he will always love me. He told me how beautiful I am. He said sorry for every time time he hurt me. He said even thogh we arent contacting eachother he will never stop thinking of me. He told me how lucky he was to have loved and been loved by me.

He said even though we are saying goodbye, he hopes this isnt goodbye forever. He called me by the name he's only ever called me while we were together and said he will miss me.

 

Then we said the last farewell.

No matter how much I work on myself from now on, I know I will deep down always hope to see him again. But I am looking forward to the future, without him, with a new me.

[Danny H]

Good luck selfi, the healing starts now.

[Pikey1972]

I'm glad you didn't meet up in the end, selfi, it sounds like you both parted on good terms.

 

It hurts I know, but try to take each day at a time, keep positive and keep posting - we're here if you need someone to talk to.