The Dumper and Me

[LiquidCherry]

Have you ever teased a dog while eating food? You know, they sit there in front of you looking all cute and you know what you're eating must smell REALLY good to them 'cause it sure does smell good to you . And even though you have no intentions of sharing (Because people food is bad for them of course!) you lean forward and eat reeeeaaaaaly sloooooowwwwwwwly with your eyes closed. They'll sit there and stare at you the whole time and then, like>

 

[-X

 

This is my analogy about the contact you may receive from an ex and I thought I should give it it's own thread. I'm sure many of you out there can relate; I went through a similar situation myself. I'm not saying that all contact from an ex you want back is negative but I am giving a warning: That you must careful of what direction that contact is heading towards and what their true intentions are.

 

(And yes, I really do this; to dogs though, not people.)

[jigsaw]

I think that a better analogy would be that they tossed the dog some scraps...

 

But it really is different for all situations, if the ex wants friendship with you, they might give you dog food?

 

Weird analogies.. most important thing is to make sure your not letting yourself be a dog.

[LiquidCherry]

What the dog wants is some food so if they get some scraps they get what they want though I suppose they'll always want more... I guess in my analogy food=relationship. They can see the possiblility but they never get it; A false hope kind of situation.

 

No one ever gets my analogies but they make perfect sense to me! :splat:

[7out102]

LiquidCherry-

 

Please read my post "questions for superdave71 and anybody else" that I started in this forum. I havent got a whole lot of feedback so far but I can relate 100% to this analogy of yours. What my ex did to me was pretty extreme and downright horrible to say the least. Please dont ever fall into the trap that I did. The heartache is much worse than the original break-up.

[Mun]

That's why I usually say "you're waiting for them to throw you a bone. "

 

If someone knows that you want something really, really bad, they can mess with you, same as an ex can do if he knows you want them back soooo bad. Indifference is the neutralizer

[Regretfulman]

i totally agree, once the ex knows you dont care anymore, everything changes. Their how outlook on you and the relationship takes on a new life. Whether it makes them decide to come back to you or not, they will be thinking long and hard as to why you stopped chasing, and they will always wonder what you are up to. Don't give the ex the satisfaction of knowing what or who you are doing, let them suffer for once

[healinginnyc81]

I think you're all right. I feel like X's reach out a little bit b/c it eases the guilt for them and they still do care about you. I think the best thing is to let them know that you're doing fine without them and that you don't want their pity. Of course, I may just be bitter right now since my ex-gf broke up with me a week ago after 2 and a half years.

[lonelyfish]

iDon't give the ex the satisfaction of knowing what or who you are doing, let them suffer for once

 

That is great!

[RayKay]

I guess I am a sucker cause I always give them a *little* bit of people food!

 

My bunny rabbit is just too darn cute to resist when he is hopping around all excited for cranberries or cheerios!

 

Your analogy is pretty good, but I would say as others did that a phone call, or the words an ex may say (ie I miss you, I just need time..blah blah) are more like scraps....not even enough to fulfill or satisfy you, but you will still jump for them and hope for more. Even when clear there is nothing there for them to give you anymore (their plate is clean) you will still be hoping for another scrap.

 

But you deserve more then scraps - you are an independent, strong, beautiful individual and should be with someone whom is more then willing to serve you a full meal!

[WildChild]

I got it Liquid, and I think it's hilarious Oh, you are soo, so right.

[unicornq]

This makes me think about two things:

1. Although the heartache is inevitable, perhaps I should already feel relieved if my ex (or crush of unrequited love) doesn't string me along.

2. I wonder if it's a good idea to stay in contact with ex (or crush of unrequited love)...

[LiquidCherry]

This makes me think about two things:

1. Although the heartache is inevitable, perhaps I should already feel relieved if my ex (or crush of unrequited love) doesn't string me along.

2. I wonder if it's a good idea to stay in contact with ex (or crush of unrequited love)...

 

1. It is truly cruel to string along another so as much as the heartache hurts it is better than the pain of false hope.

 

2. I think it's a good idea to stay in contact with an ex IF neither party is harboring romantic feelings. Sometimes this is possible after a transition period but sometimes it is not as any contact can cause old emotions to resurface.