The Ex-Wants back in ?!?#

[HeartBrokenYetReady2Heal]

okay folks...i just recently came acorss this wonderful site....and darn it..it's really helped heal...and most importantly indicate that I AM NOT the ONLY ONE..going thru these things/situations in life...

 

Anyhow i am going to TRY, really TRY to keep my story short and sweet...hope it works..

 

So me and this girl hit it off 3 years ago...it was the first week of university, our first year away frm home, we lived in the same dorm and everything...things we're great...we loved each other intensely and at that time...honestly we both truly believed we were gonna go the full distance and get married after university.

 

Now lets Forward to 2.5 years later, under some extenuating circumstances, I am forced to leave the university...and I end up attending another, different university (3hrs away...300km) from where my lover (my ex now) was attending school. So slowly after we separated for school, in the beginning of sept 2002, things start to get rocky.

 

She ends up always going out, our phone calls are more scarce and when we do manage to catch each other on the phone..we ended up fighting and so forth. It was beginning to be the perfect prelude to a BIG OLD NASTY BREAK-UP ! And then boom...there it was in November of 2002..we break up..call it quits.....yet decided to be friends and keep in touch once in a while and so forth..

 

3 months later..she's dating someone new...me on the other hand....remained single, and was enjoying what the single life had to give...it is important to note here that, when me and my girl broke up..she was like repeatedly stating to me..."oohh i am never gonna get over you, its gonna take years, i wanna find myself and be strong and independent again before I EVER ENTER A NEW relationship with neone" and blah blah...what a BUNCH of crock huh? 3 months later ur banging someone new....hows does that work ?!??

 

so i stopped talking to her from about March 2003 till Sunday July 6th 2003 (2days ago)..I stopped talking to her because I had big plans to fulfill, as I am entering first year law school coming sept 2003..i mean she was not going newhere far..well not yet neways...well nehow..it had been exactly FIVE full months... which is a longgg time for two ppl to cut each other out completely from their lives, especially considering we were two ppl...who spent a lottttt of time togeth daily while we were together and stuff...

 

How did i manage/ survive the 5 months---> the help of good friends and family.... i kept myself busy and get over her. Folks..just keep yourselves occupied... ur mind busy whenever u find urself in this situation...

It truly, truly works...getting ready for law schools, with all the applications, exams and so forth...i was easily able to kill 5 months.

 

So on sunday July 6th i see her online, on MSN (this msn thing can really work wonders in terms of patching sour relationships..lol)..and i decide to (cuz i was in a jolly good mood) send her an instant message....she replies..and we end up talking for about 30 mins on MSN..she agrees to call me the next day....she does...fills me in on the past 5 months, and the most important thing being.....her new bf......and of course me being the nice guy that i am..was genuinely happy for her and congratualted her on her accomplishments....she in turn asks me if i had found ne one interesting..i state NO.

 

She ask's why not..and i state b/c i was going to try and patch things up with her again..and thus didnt want to explore ne new possibilities in the meantime...this really hit her hard i think.....she asks..ohhh really....and when we're u going to do all that and i stated to her; near the middle of the summer (july).. i really was going to ask her out again...

 

The biggest sidenote: When we broke up...we agreed that if either of us saw someone new within the break up period..then there would be NO, or VERY VERY VERY LITTLE CHANCE of us getting back together again..it was our agreement that if ur heart cant be tamed by one person...then it simply wasnt worth it..i dunno..i think tht was a naive deal now that i look back at it...

 

So as we can see she has obviously moved on..considering her current bf caught her on the FULL REBOUND....and I repeat...this is a PURE REBOUND relationship...this is not going newhere soon....he's not in skool, hes not her type...and even she gets angry and annoyed when i state jokingly...that her new man is perfect for her and that they should get married soon....i find this to be hilarious...why would u get involved with someone if u dont think that he/she is not the one...if u juss want the sex..be upfront about it...right ??....I know..after knowing this girl very closely for nearly 3.5 years now...she's gonna dump him now some time soon this summer and come running back to me...thats sooo not coool!! she's not gonna play me like that.... so deep down in my heart i tell myself...i will never go out with this girl again...

 

things r cool now...we're friends again..i guess u can call it that..and now she wants to meet me, call, and basically be a part of my life again...what should I do? should I let her back in ? is she gonna play both her current bf and me for fools? and what if she breaks up with her current bf after realizing that its just a rebound thing...should i take her back then?

she's always telling me that i make the perfect husband...and hints that we should get back together sometime in the future....but in my mind i think..Honey u lost ur chance when u went out with the new dude ?!?

 

 

Ne help from all u wonderful experts wouldbe appreciated..thanks

 

sorry for the poor grammar and spelling mistakes...and i know this damn post was a marathon..i promise not to do it again...cheers !! thanks a million folks!!

[kdreger]

Tread carefully...

 

Just be friends, be strong. You're in control with what happens between the two of you. Don't be a fool and accept her right away - make her earn your trust. Take it slow...

[BananaRamma01]

First and Foremost, I give you props on being able to recuperate and still attend college, law school, and the like. You moved on, and that's awesome. This chick, on the other hand, obviously has no outlook on love, and has no idea what it is. If she tries to use you, say exactly what you typed... She lost her chance. Love will find you... don't go looking for it.

 

Always...

BananaRamma01

[crookster_man]

Eventually the choice will be yours and yours alone (that is if she comes back) are you hoping for that? Are you still clinging on to that? Why exactly does it matter if she comes back into your life? If she does, why would you want her back in your life? Is she worthy? These are all questions you will have to answer before you can seriously think about an answer to your big question.

 

What were the reasons you broke up in the first place? Was it completely the fact that it was long distance? There was a reason why things faded away. You have to understand that a lot of baggage will carry over into the new relationship unless you address all these issues. Would you be embarrassed to take her back?

 

The most important thing to remember in this situation is to ENSURE that you maintain your own self-respect and self worth. If you have to give that up to be with her then it's no good. Are you willing to forgive her for hurting you? Taking her back will be challenging not only for you, but also for your friends and family. I'm sure they don't think to highly of her. Understand that it will be a long and difficult process to rebuild your stability.

 

Lastly, make sure you take her back because you really want to. Not because your afraid of being alone, or because it's comfortable. Can you deal with the fact that she broke up with you slept around and is now coming back? Understand the complexity of the situation before you make any discussion. I hope I've opened your eyes a little more. Good luck with whatever you decide. My personal option would be to move on and find another, but then what do I know? ;o)

[michiganmale27]

I know what you are going through. Me and my ex-gf broke up a few months ago. We had tickets to an event that we bought prior to the breakup, suffice to say I wasn't missing this concert... LUCKILY I did not see her since this was general admission seating. Apparently she "saw" me, which is amazing since this was amoungst about 35,000 people.

 

I get this email the other day, first one since the breakup asking who the blonde girl was that I was with at the concert. Gotta love honest, cough cough jealous, inquiries about people that you are hanging out with.

 

Anyways, I responded by saying she did not have the right to ask about the blonde anymore, and furthermore why did she care in the firstplace.

 

It's your call, and I have thought about this as well in my situation if the case arised you would need to have a VERY long talk and get rid of any skeletons that exist. In addition, she would need to earn your trust back.

 

GOOD LUCK!!! I'm an MBA Student myself

[greenie]

as a girl, i think that your ex needs to learn to be aight on her own. It sounds like she just wants a man in her life to have a man in her life, whichever is cuter and more successful is the one she prefers. Now unless there is a lot of love for her in your heart andyou feel the same from her, I would just keep in the path you are in. There are other women out there and any woman would see a man with goals such as yourself in a good light. So date around