anyone, please help.

[QTpie87]

Ok I really need some help on this one. See my ex and I broke up like a week or so ago, and sense then have become really good friends. He spent a lot of time with me telling me that I needed to straighten out, go back to college and basically be me (stop letting people walk all over me). I've done a lot of thinking about all of this and decided I would stop being fake and trying to please everyone all the time.

Now I thought I would be ok with just being friends, I thought I could make myself not love him, but it's gotten worse for me. I've fallen even more for him, and hard. I love him so much, and to think of him being with anyone else just hurts so bad I start to cry and can't stop for a long time.

I feel bad cause he got to know the basics about me, like what I like and things like that, but for the most part I was fake. FAKE FAKE FAKE!!!!

I wanted too much to make sure he would like me, I didn't want to take any chances of him not liking me so I thought well hey maybe if im this other person he'll like me. Turns out he would have probably ended up really like me for who I was, like before we were dating and how much he liked me then, which is why we ended up dating.

I want to ask him to give me another chance, but don't know how to go about doing that. All i know is that if I had another chance and he ended up still not caring for me like he did to begen with that I wouldn't feel so bad cause at least he would be dumping me, not the little shy nice girl I acted like.

What should I do????

Please someone this is so serious, I love him and don't know what to do.

[RayKay]

Well, I don't think there is much you can do, but just BE you and see what happens.

 

I think you have learnt a valuable lesson and I hope you take it to heart in the future for the rest of your life...be WHOM you are. Do not change WHOM you are to get people to like you more, or win someone over. Why? Because then how are they ever going to love you for YOU, and ultimately, that is what you and everyone else in this world wants, to be loved for WHOM they are, and accepted for WHOM they are. Be yourself...if someone does not love you for it, then they are not the right one for you.

[QTpie87]

would it be a bad Idea to tell him how I feel and tell him I wont be fake and that I just want another chance and if he doesn't end up likign me then that at least I would feel better that I, myself, the real me got a shot?

[Caterina]

Who broke up with whom? If he broke up with you, you should have NC (no contact). Avoid him for a while and if possible have fun with friends and even date others. See if he wants you back. If not, get back into your life/hobbies and date others. I am sorry that you are going through this pain...

[RayKay]

would it be a bad Idea to tell him how I feel and tell him I wont be fake and that I just want another chance and if he doesn't end up likign me then that at least I would feel better that I, myself, the real me got a shot?

 

I don't think that is a good idea, it again sounds like you are trying to be what he wants, you might not mean it that way, but think of it from his point of view.

 

Leave it for now, limit contact, and work on yourself. Let him see you for you from a distance and make his decisions that way.

[goddess23]

listen. this is still A VERY EARLY BREAKUP. to be quite honest, if you were being fake in the relationsihp, to be quite honest you probably need some time to know who you ARE. i know that sounds completely whack, but trust me you need some time to yourself, know yourself and love yourself before you can be in a relationship and give part of yourself into it. look its only been a week and you need to take a break, try nc, seriously and see if you really cnat live without this guy. trust me it takes a long time to move on but with time it gets easier.

[german_for_a_whales]

i suggest not talking to him, at all. that will work better than anything else. not a word. dont pick up the phone, dont call him, dont text, if you go online, dont talk to him on there. dont say anything. abandoning people seems to be the only way to make them recognize what theyre losing. when my ex and i broke up the first time, i told her to "get out and not talk to me." later that night she wrote me a tearful email that she loved me SOOOOOOO much. a month later of kissing her *CENSORED* *CENSORED* *CENSORED* she was gone again. i still love her, but i think you have to ignore them for them to see what theyre missing. thats the only thing that works.

[nataliejulie]

It's the scariest thought in the world, but maybe try NC. I'm on day 8 and it's not that bad at all. I made the same mistake you did. After my ex and I split, I became his friend a week later. We talked twice a week and eventually started dating again, only to be dumped, yet again. And why? He never appreciated me in the first place. He never had that time to "miss me". He never had that time to "evalute" things in his brain because I was there, as his friend, filling that void.

 

Tell him, "listen, it's very hard being your friend. I need some time to move on and cope with this pain." The minute they feel like they lose you, their brain wheels start going on overdrive.

 

Being friends with my ex so soon after my breakup with him was the biggest mistake I ever made. Don't repeat it!