thoughts from a former shy girl...

[meadow8]

I wanted to let all of my shy people out there know that it can get better. I used to be a horrendously shy girl. Not so much with individual conversations with a fellow girl, but definitely in groups or with guys. It's a very hard way to be. Others think you should just snap out of it. But you can't.

 

Well, with time, it gets easier. And one of the best and only ways is to get out there and experience life and make mistakes. I think often shy people paralyze themselves in their shyness. They build up situations so much in their heads, that they're then doomed to get nervous or fail or over-analyze everything. Try to relax. Get out there and enjoy your day. In the grand scheme of things, who cares if you look silly in front of this person or that person. They are people too. And only once you get the confidence to step out of your self-contained prison, will things start to change.

 

I think when I started changing was when I went to live in another country with a much different social culture than say the US. There it was normal to kid around, make fun of and joke at people. It was harmlessly intentioned, but you could either sit around and take it or speak up and shoot right back. This kind of situation challenges you to change. And once you start changing, it just builds and builds.

 

I am still shyish to this day, and I'm definitely not in high school anymore! I'm not great in a big crowd, but that's OK. (If you're not either, concentrate on one person at a time. Don't freak out and get over-whelmed.) I'm not a loud, joke of the party type. But I'm very funny in a lot of other situations. And that's good for me.

 

So my shy peeps... have faith. Ask that girl/guy out! The worst that can happen is she/he says no. In the grand scheme of your life, it's not a big deal. And if she/he says no, it just wasn't meant to be anyway. Someday you may look back like me and realize it was all much less scary than you made it out to be. Don't let other people have all the fun!

[Dating Coach]

Wonderfully said! Thanks for sharing your experiences!

[Jessica45]

Cool, i'm considered a very shy person, and i really appreciate your suggestion. thanx!!!

[JRM]

Great simple message to all shy people, including myself.

[OneConfusedGuy]

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I am VERY shy and intend on changing that, however, it's not an easy road. I just need to keep on truckin...

[ShySoul]

The worst that can happen is she/he says no.

 

Actually the worst that can happen is that not only does he/she say no, the person laughs in your face, tells you that you don't stand a chance, humilates you in front of everyone, send you running out of the place in tears, you get in your car, drive off but get into an accident and end up in a hospital room.

 

But really, what are the odds of that happening?

 

So now that you know the worst isn't going to happen to you, everything else that happens can only be better.

 

What? Shy people can be funny to you know.

 

Seriously, good advice. I'd further add that shyness is not a problem, it is nothing to feel bad about. It is part of who you are, not something to overcome but something to accept and incorporate into a well rounded persona. It's learning when you need to speak out and when its better to stay silent. It's loving and embracing your shyness, not fighting it. When you embrace it, you stop fighting it so much and can learn when to be shy and when not to be. But when you constantly think about it, you'll just end up pressuring yourself and that will cause you to become more self conscious and shy.

 

So to the shy people, remember that you are all great people. You are among the best people. And don't you forget it.

[Indirect]

The bottom line is that all comes down to how your presense and chrisma would attract others and how they perceive you. If you start getting attention, well obviously your shyness would go away. You would break the shell and become more "visible." So it all depends on how you develop your self-confidence and the way you present yourself to others.

 

Just like a best-selling product. People buy in masses beceause there is something about it. Maybe it wasn't at first but now it's "talking" to them.

[ShySoul]

If you start getting attention, well obviously your shyness would go away. You would break the shell and become more "visible."

 

For some, but not for all. For some the attention will make them more shy. They will be uncomfortable being visibleand go further into a shell.

 

The important thing is to just be you and be ok with who you are. If you are shy, then good going! Shy people are cool! There is nothing wrong with it, it isn't something to get over. Just don't let your fears get the better of you. Otherwise, embrace your shyness, its part of who you are. And a very beautiful part at that.