is he worth it????

[1899]

You ask if he worth it but you didnt say one good thing about him....

I read your story, and im wondering, what did he do for you?? Your self esteem is obviously low to let him walk all over you like that.

 

Infact I have a hard time beliving that this isnt all made up.....

 

Man, if only Jerry Springer read these forums...

[eddie500]

You ask if he worth it but you didnt say one good thing about him....

I read your story, and im wondering, what did he do for you?? Your self esteem is obviously low to let him walk all over you like that.

 

Infact I have a hard time beliving that this isnt all made up.....

 

Man, if only Jerry Springer read these forums...

 

Yeah what are some good things about him? You must still find some good things about him if your considering if he is worth it or not.

[nadine_3110]

He never said I'm sorry. I apologized to him for the mistakes I made, but he just won't do it. He says, "That's how we are in my family, we don't apologize..."

 

So that's how they do it in his family is it? He knows that's how they do it, how come he can't just be different and admit to his mistakes. I think he knows it's wrong, he just doesn't want to fess up and admit it. He's being a boy, and you need a man. Personally, I think this guy isn't worth it, he uses you for sex, he doesn't appreciate how hard you work. Sure he's sweet and funny, but it sounds like he's acting when he's like that.

 

I hope everything turns out ok, and I know for a fact that there is someone who'll treat you the way you deserve out there. When you're not looking for something, it usually turns out to be exactly what you need.

[thegirlfriend]

You ask if he worth it but you didnt say one good thing about him....

I read your story, and im wondering, what did he do for you?? Your self esteem is obviously low to let him walk all over you like that.

 

Infact I have a hard time beliving that this isnt all made up.....

I assure you, I did not make this up... To me all this seems normal after all the time I've spend with this guy.

 

And yes, I did say nice things about him in the beginning of this thread, so then others "scolded" me for defending him...

 

I wish I were just making it all up, but the truth is, I haven't even posted everything...

[Nicesmile]

NOOOO!!! You deserve so much better. Demand respect or get out.... This guy is not worth your time however attracted you are to him!!

[redandblack]

Wouldn't it be so much nicer to just be back with him. LIke she is asking, "is he worth it".

Is your ex worth it even with all his problems?

 

Is it worth it to lie to yourself every day or find reasons not to be with the person you love? She is obvisouly confusd becuase she is trying to fight love. IF she didn't love him, she wouldn't even write this post.

I

 

Did you even read what she wrote?

 

This guy did not love her. True love isn't about exploitation or selfishness. True love, at it's crudest, is an exchange between two people. What he was doing basically ammounts to abuse, in my mind. It should not be tolerated under any circumstances.

[Pixiemeat]

Why the hell are you with this man? He is not kind, caring, compassionate, reliable, trustworthy, honest, considerate... I could go on.

 

He clearly does not make you happy. Leave, and do so quickly. Not sure if I brushed over it, but how long have you been with him? I understand that breaking up is a very difficult thing to do, but this man is truly awful. I sincerely hope that you're not one of those women who will stay with such an awful specimen of humanity 'because you love him.' In this is the case, you get no sympathy from me.

 

For your own sake, get rid of him now!

[kellbell]

Hi there,

 

Well, it boils down to what YOU want. I mean, is it what you pictured yourself to end up with, a man who chooses not to work, feels it's okay to lie, cheat, and steal? Someone who has no money and wants to get you pregnant that has no amibition, doesn't treat you like paying for the tab from time to time. I mean is this what YOU really want. Is he meeting your expectations? I suspect not, otherwise you wouldn't have posted here. I mean this guy is who he is, can't fault him for that, but is he FOR YOU?? That is the question only you can answer for yourself.

 

To me, a partner should act and be an equal partner. Like a team, one leans on another. To me, it sounds like it's sooo one-sided and you are doing all the work. This cannot possibly make you happy. I could be wrong, I mean some people are control freaks and be happy with that but it seems like you are not. A partner should have morals, basic morals, and lying, stealing, and cheating is far away from having a kind of foundation of morals. Do you really want this man to instill those kinds of things in your children? Is that what you would want for them? Also, another big part of a healthy relationship and love is compromise. It sounds like this guy doesn't have a clue as to what the meaning of this word is.

 

I am not trying to knock this dude but from the tone of your post, I could be wrong, that this is not what you really want in a life-long partner. Never lower your standards or alter your basic parts of your personality to be with someone or keep him or her around. Set your own boundries and stick to them. By doing that, you won't get burned. I believe in second chances but only when it is deserved or when the other person is genuine. But to me, he isn't. Cheating, lying, and stealing and finding no wrong in it to me doesn't warrant a first chance, let alone a second one.

 

Do not, I repeat do not, let him play that "this is how it was in my family..." card. That's a line of bull. He is old enough to make his own decision, how old is he?? So, just because he was raised like that, that gives him the go-ahead to treat you like crap??? Fine, that's the way he was raised but do want his lousy family values rubbing off of you and your future kids??? This is such a repulsive excuse to me and it disgusts me. Sorry.

 

But I can't tell you how to live or what to decide, I am just laying out what I got from your posts. I truly hope things work out for the best and wishing you all the best in whatever you decide.

[1899]

Another thing to remember too is that relationships are tested by time, and cracks can get bigger. If your having these problems now, and you clearly see he has no intentions of changing, by making excuses for his blatant actions which you obviously dont like, what do you think it will be like 5 years from now.

 

I think he wont mind leaving you with children and then make excuses for leaving.

 

Later in life, you will see how other guys treat thier lady or thier great qualities and you will be wishing that you waited for someone much better, but by then, you may be left with permenent scars of a relationship with him, known as baggage, kids, emotionally distraught, etc.

 

Better to cut ties now for your future.

[thegirlfriend]

Thanx guys for your support and your honest opinions. It helps to see things from an outside perspective. I don't know why I let him treat me like this. Maybe I've been with him too long so I learned to swallow all his sh"t...

 

Just found out that he was trying to cheat on me sometime in the beginning of our relationship. The girl didn't give in, but what if she had? I'm so sad I don't even have strength left to cry...

 

I guess I should really know better by now... Maybe I do know better now...

[kellbell]

Sometimes it's very easy to help others and give advice because we are on the outside and can see the situation for what it is, but when you are in the middle of it, it can be difficult to assess the situation and know what to do. Don't be too hard on yourself. Good luck in whatever you decide what to do and let us know how you are doing.

[redandblack]

Try not to be hard on yourself. You learned a lot from this. You're doing what is right for you, right now! That is all that really matters.

 

Now it's time to get up, brush yourself off and move on! Boot your self esteem. You're an excelent girlfriend. If I met someone like you I wouldn't let you go! I'm sure there are a million guys out there who will treat you how you deserve to be treated!

 

If anything, feel good that you were able to love someone enough to put up with so much crap. Feel good that you were able to provide so much so selflessly.

 

Take care!