My boyfriend is a nut...

[ImInLove232]

My boyfriend and I got into a fight a few days ago.....he actually told me to get out of his apartment and then I waited in my car until he had to leave for work (so that we could somehow mend things because I absolutley HATE fighting!)....he came out I tried talking to him but he ignored me and got into his car so I tried holding onto the passengers door handle but he kept moving so i knocked on his window but he still wouldnt stop. Well when I was knocking on his window i had my keys in my hand and he has a tint on his windows.

 

A long time ago when we had fought, I had told him that one of my friends had suggested that I key his car......which I would never do, or else OBVIOUSLY i wouldnt be telling him a friend said that!!

 

I must admit, i was pretty upset when he just ignored me and i did kind of pound on his window when i was knocking, but i wouldnt want to scratch it. After the fight though, we mended things, but he said that he would be SUPER UPSET if he found his window scratched.

 

Days passed, and he forgot to check his window. We have actually been very loving since thing dumb thing happened. (keep in mind our one year anniversary is coming up next friday). Finally, today when we got into his car and went to the supermarket, he sees the scratch. He gets SUPER MAD and then keeps saying things like 'if you scratched it ill scratch your car too'.....I'm not sure if i DID scratch it, but i dont know alot about tints, to me it looked like when u put a sticker on glass and the residue is left over....maybe im wrong. So then we got to his place, and he tells me to 'get out i dont want to see you.'

 

Personally, i feel emotionless and I dont know why...but i HATE fighting....what do you recommend I do? ....I was thinkin of writing him a 'im sorry card' and going over to see him in about an hour to give him some time to cool down. do you feel that its ok for him to go back to it instead of just letting it go and keep goin with the good vibes we had? are guys that attached to their cars? im not sure..

 

.... but ANY or all thoughts and ideas would be great...thanks for your time.

[Meow18]

You and your boyfriend seem to handle things differently. He gets super upset and makes you leave or just ignores you, while you seem to rather want to talk about it, or fix it.

 

Honestly, you have nothing to apologize for. You don't even know if you did it. Maybe you really didn't? The point is, by apologizing over something that you may not have done, you are just taking the blame (which obviously you should do when you really do something wrong..) and giving him more power over you. You can't just take the blame for every little thing he gets upset over.

 

I think it's a problem in relationships when the couple likes to handle their issues differently, especially when one would rather ignore the issue. Things never get resolved that way and it's really going to leave a lot of problems.

 

I would suggest waiting until he calls you. Cars can get scratched so easily by anything or anyone. He accused you when he had no proof and got so mad at you about it. I think he should be the one apologizing to you.

[chai714]

First thing I don't like seeing, is a woman who fears her boyfriend. This is a sign that he's either emotionally abusive, physically abusive, or has threatened you in some way, shape, or form.

 

A good relationship starts with the friendship at the base, passion, and respect. I have a feeling that you lack self-respect and that you'll do anything to make things right. This is not how it should be though. I recommend working on your own self-esteem. Once you get more self-respect, your self-esteem will raise and you will be able to stick up for yourself if you're right. You shouldn't apologize if you're not wrong because this will just lead to him having even less respect for you. So, learn something about self-esteem and how you can get your elevated. You can do it, it just takes time. Good luck.

[Caldus]

I have a feeling that you lack self-respect and that you'll do anything to make things right. This is not how it should be though. I recommend working on your own self-esteem. Once you get more self-respect, your self-esteem will raise and you will be able to stick up for yourself if you're right. You shouldn't apologize if you're not wrong because this will just lead to him having even less respect for you. So, learn something about self-esteem and how you can get your elevated.

 

I have that feeling too based on what I read. You shouldn't have to earn his respect for you all the time.

[Mun]

ohhh I'm kinda scared for you. Does he control the relationship most of the time?

 

I would not apologize for something I didn't do. I wouldn't even bother to explain further. I think that sets things up so that I'm always the bad guy...which is not the case. That's what I would do---and if he doesn't like it... too bad.

 

If you didn't scratch his car then he needs to get over it.