ImInLove232

I have never dealt with this before...I can't even imagine the thought of him staring at someone else topless....it makes me feel jealous and insecure. The thought of him getting a lapdance just makes me want to disappear under a rock for the rest of my life. Why does he have to be so insensitive? Me and him have been through alot, and I have done my fair share of things....but we have grown from them and everything has been so great lately. Because I had messed up before, he tells me that I have to prove to him how much I love him....I think I'm very fair about it all....I do mind him going, but Im going to keep the hurt.....what kills me the most is that I want to talk about it all with him and he hangs up on me, and refuses to talk to me because he says that I should save the fighting for just myself. I just dont get it....I dont want to fight, I just want to talk about it so itll make me feel better He is going regardless so I cant stop him. I just dont know how to deal with him or the whole thing. I just cant imagine him being turned on by some stripper.....it bothers me I dont understand how everytime I should be the one to get mad, he gets mad, and I'm the one begging for everything to work out. How do I go about changing that? I'm sick of being the one that always feels like i have to save the relationship over something so stupid. its simply very unfair to me. Obviously I dont ever want to go to a strip club....but is there anyway to get him to start caring about how i feel? I really need some advice. Thanks.

I'm 19 years old.

My parents do not even know my boyfriend and hate his guts. The fact that they do not want me seeing him only makes me want to see him more My parents are pretty overprotective of me in general and hate the idea of me going out weekend nights, which is something I need to destress from school and work. Its come to the point where they will take away my car and drive me everywhere and they refuse to pay for my school anymore. All I want is to be in a relationship, because its something that makes me feel happy, and because of their racism, it is ruining my life. Not only do I have to suffer not seeing him, but I also cant get out of the house. I feel like I'm in prison just so that they can be happy.....I have even started having suicidal thoughts because I'm not happy living like this.](*,) I know my parents love me, but I dont understand why they would want to ruin my life like this. They have even said that they want to go to a lawyer to keep him away....that really frustrates me because I know that any normal person would think they are crazy for trying to run my life. I need some good advice, everyone I tell about this just feels bad for me, and doesnt know what to tell me to do....I need some guidance because I dont know where to start with this Thanks.

well what exactly happened was that i started going to a guy about advice...who had originally been a friend i had just met....in general me and the other guy had alot in common, and he's good at advice (the kind of advice that is in my own mind yet i cannot go by it because im blinded by love). so i put my foot down. I ended up liking him....he liked me...at this point i dont want to have two guys....so i was like tellin my boyfriend 'please change this this and this'....he didnt really agree to it, however, he did eventually give in and starting to nod when i would say it to him....but that same day he did agree to it, i told him about the other guy hoping that he would change his ways for good and feel like he has competition to really absolutely change. well he ended up takin me to the beach the next day that i had ALWAYS wanted to go too....which was sweet of him....but when we got back to his place, he went on my email msgs and read the 'i love you' the other guy had sent. this is why he feels betrayed, and i feel so bad.

My boyfriend and I have broken up for numerous reasons....he is mad at me and says that he's not sure if he can forgive me or not, but I most likely see him forgiving me in the future at some point. (however, I'm scared that things will not be as good as they were before because I emotionally talked with another guy and told him about it, since my boyfriend had been telling me he was annoyed by me, and barely wanting to hang out). When I was in the relationship with him I felt unwanted, and since him and I have recently talked, he admits that he wanted a break from us and missed his freedom. Well, now he is single, and he goes out with his friends to the clubs, and bars, etc. In the longrun though, within the past few days that we have been single, he has already gotten his earrings back and dresses to impress everywhere he goes. He tells me that he wants me and then he tells me that he isnt sure if he can ever come back to me. He keeps switching it off because he (without a doubt) is confused and doesnt want to get hurt by me again. The whole reason I went for moral support to another guy and started liking the other guy was because I could never go to my boyfriend about anything, he would get mad at me if i needed moral support or if i cried he wouldnt come to comfort me. I told him that I am willing to wait for him patiently if he decides to take me back, but thats only if he changes for the better and treats me right and actually gives me attention. (When I was talking with the other guy, who had gave me good advice that was FOR my relationship with my boyfriend, he told me that I should put my foot down.) So I had asked my boyfriend to change before we had broken up and before I had told him about the other guy, but he said "I wont change." What can I say....I started to lose hope because I want someone that can treat me the way that I treat them, and I think that communication and attention are an important part of that for me. We recently had our one year anniversary, and I had gotten him a few things and he had gotten me a nice digital camera, however, I made him a chocolate cake and got him roses too. He didnt even eat a bite of it until 3 DAYS LATER....because he said that he 'wasnt in the chocolate mood', yet i know that if i was allergic to chocolate, i would have eaten a sliver of it just to make him smile. The roses were on the floor of his room the next day too. It just really made me feel like it didnt matter what i had planned out was all that great (i even ended up eating half the cake because i was so depressed) so i started crying about it, and he didnt come and comfort me, instead he picked a fight and played his video game. Is this pure ignorance or does he not care? I'm confused. So taking into consideration all of that, my boyfriend (who I have seen a few times since the break up) still wants to be physically intimate. He says that "its the only pure thing that we have left" (since he had taken my virginity). I'm very confused. I want to be with him like that, but it would also make me feel used, because there is no guarantee that he will come back for me and he would get the benefit of having someone to come to for pleasure yet still have a wondering eye and dance with girls at clubs, etc. But I do know for a fact that he would never physically get intimate with anyone behind my back. He even told me that he has always wanted to have sex without the condom and for me to get birth control, because he nor I have never done that. I admit that when we were in a relationship I did want to try that, but I didnt want to mess up my period cycle (seeming the fact that my parents dont know I am physically intimate) with the pills. So when he tells me that he still wants to do that (even while we're not together) it makes me feel weird. Overall, I'm very confused, and I'm not sure if I'll totally be back together with him, however I have bought him flowers three times, and bought a few nice things to try and show him my sorry. He does seem like he wants to forgive me, but I think it will take some time. Because he has mentioned that he wants to buy me a christmas present and we have been talkin lately. I'm scared that if we do get back together that he wont change and start going back to his annoyance of me. Quite honestly, I do like attention. He has been working and going to school full time, so I do understand that he wants space, but it makes me feel unwanted when he doesnt really feel like talkin over the phone after i have tried to give him that space. This is the guy that I had dreams of marriage with, and gave my virginity too. Its hard to just drop things because we both had a strong connection and we're both holding on to it. I just dont know what to do or how to handle it, i appreciate any advice.

My boyfriend and I will be celebrating our 1 year anniversary next week(its about time!...just kidding hehe)....I want to surprise him with something cute/sweet/something he'll never forget....in general it has to be something affordable (Im a college student) yet not so cheap that its a homemade card........I want to go all out for this special occasion and truly show him he means the world to me (eventhough he knows that....but sometimes its nice to show it too too bad that I'm not great at thinking up things So I am turning to everyone for suggestions....or what you have done/ have been surprised with on an anniversary by your sweetheart....I have about an hour to spare before he gets to his place that day and am willing to go far fetched lengths for a super anniversary!! Keep in mind that no idea is considered too crazy for me..... thanks for any ideas

very true....Thank you so much for your advice darkblue.

Yes, I do trust him....I guess my mind is more concerned with a girl hitting on him more than anything...and quite honestly, I don't like the girls that much.....they are kind of the 'skanky' type. I'm honestly just the really jealous type...and I dont want to sound full of myself or anything, but I know I've got the looks over these girls, but I'm always wondering 'what about all the other girls at the club' .......I don't know if its normal for me to be jealous of the fact that maybe my boyfriend (will not approach anyone) but check someone out. It's just the whole idea that a club is mainly a setting for single people to mingle.

Yes, my boyfriend knows my personal reasons (which are my strict parents whom do not like him, however I try to get out once in a while with an excuse of hanging out with a friend)....his friends are single guys who pretty much go to the club every weekend....I had told him a long time ago that it would hurt my feelings if he danced with another girl....he confessed recently that he had danced with a couple of his girl friends, who he says he isnt attracted too and it was just a friendly dance. Personally, I went away this summer, I was at clubs over the weekends, I have a bunch of guy friends there, but I opted to not dance with any of them. Dancing, to me, is something that reminds me of intamacy. Not to mention the fact that most girls dance very provacitive (atleast the friends of my boyfriend I am sure that they do) and thinking of some girl, even if she is just some friend, dancing provacative with my man....its really upsetting

I agree with Dannysgirl....its only natural for her to act this way to be reassured that you want HER, AND HER ONLY....considering the fact that you were secretly seeing you ex, and she still stuck with you really shows something. I can only imagine how hurt she must have felt...so you getting that ring is something that shows your hers....but ofcourse she only wants you to do this if you want it as well. Whats the point of buying a ring and not feeling the emotions and purpose you should be when you buy it? ....logically speaking, you are now deciding if you want her to be your wife in the future. You're not getting married on Monday....you still have time for that......engagements can last a couple of years if you're not ready for that. Ask yourself these questions: Do you feel happy with her? Was everything great (and did you feel like she was the one)before her pressure for the engagement ring had started? Would you be able to live without her? (if you choose to not buy the ring by monday, itll only make her bicker more, and it might even ruin the relationship). also: if you are not ready for the ring, do you think there is a different way of proving her that you want her and only her? Her pressure is more of a test for her to see how much more you want her and a reassurance that you won't go for the other girl again. So whatever your decision is, make sure that you let her know she is the one you want. =)

I have a quick question....I'm curious to see what other people would think in my situation....Well, when you're dating someone, they obviously have friends they also like to hang out with other than you.....now these are primarily friends of the same sex, but there are few from the opposite sex. If they all go out to a club, and you cannot make it most of the time (because of personal reasons)....do you think its alright for your boyfriend/girlfriend to dance with a girl/guy friend of theirs? Would you be jealous (to a small or large degree)? or do you find it offensive? .....if you asked your boyfriend/girlfriend to not dance with someone from the opposite sex because it disturbs you, and your boyfriend/girlfriend replies with a "its not like i can wait forever for you to come out and dance with me" do you think you have the right to be upset (because of personal reasons you cant get out to the club)? no need to answer all the questions lol.....feel free to answer whichever you want though...guys and girls welcome to answer

She doesn't know what she wants. Maybe she likes you, but likes SO many guys that she is not ready to commit to--or choose which one to go to prom with--just yet. Maybe you posess a quality that she sees as more of a friend and perhaps shes just the natural flirt type. Or maybe because you like her, everything she seems to do, your trying to figure out if she likes you or not. Chances (unfortunately) are that she probably doesn't like you in any other way than a friend. If she wanted to get to know you, she would have not cancelled the study date (whether it was for studying or not).....I suggest that you keep the friendship going, but try persuing a different girl =)

My boyfriend and I got into a fight a few days ago.....he actually told me to get out of his apartment and then I waited in my car until he had to leave for work (so that we could somehow mend things because I absolutley HATE fighting!)....he came out I tried talking to him but he ignored me and got into his car so I tried holding onto the passengers door handle but he kept moving so i knocked on his window but he still wouldnt stop. Well when I was knocking on his window i had my keys in my hand and he has a tint on his windows. A long time ago when we had fought, I had told him that one of my friends had suggested that I key his car......which I would never do, or else OBVIOUSLY i wouldnt be telling him a friend said that!! I must admit, i was pretty upset when he just ignored me and i did kind of pound on his window when i was knocking, but i wouldnt want to scratch it. After the fight though, we mended things, but he said that he would be SUPER UPSET if he found his window scratched. Days passed, and he forgot to check his window. We have actually been very loving since thing dumb thing happened. (keep in mind our one year anniversary is coming up next friday). Finally, today when we got into his car and went to the supermarket, he sees the scratch. He gets SUPER MAD and then keeps saying things like 'if you scratched it ill scratch your car too'.....I'm not sure if i DID scratch it, but i dont know alot about tints, to me it looked like when u put a sticker on glass and the residue is left over....maybe im wrong. So then we got to his place, and he tells me to 'get out i dont want to see you.' Personally, i feel emotionless and I dont know why...but i HATE fighting....what do you recommend I do? ....I was thinkin of writing him a 'im sorry card' and going over to see him in about an hour to give him some time to cool down. do you feel that its ok for him to go back to it instead of just letting it go and keep goin with the good vibes we had? are guys that attached to their cars? im not sure.. .... but ANY or all thoughts and ideas would be great...thanks for your time.

Thanks for your idea, It is a good one.......but my only problem is that my sister also has a myspace, and she could easily read that skanky note I would write, and give me hell about it....and tell my parents....lol any other suggestions? or any ideas to say something skanky in a suttle way? Thanks =)

Alright well Im sure you have all heard of MySpace....if you haven't, its a site where everyone can make their own lil website and you can add friends to your site (they also have their own sites). Everyone's site has pictures, and blogs, etc, etc. But here's my story: My boyfriend got jealous because I added a few of my guy friends on there....we had originally said we wouldn't add the opposite sex to our sites but then he added one girl because he said 'it would be rude not to add her' I admit that I was upset but I didn't add any guys until now. I told him they werent important to me, but they are my friends....which is very true! I was like 'well you can add all the friends that are girls on there, I'm mature enough to accept it, just dont let them leave you any skanky messages or I WILL make you delete them'...but he sounded upset still,and he actually had the NERVE to say 'No, why should I delete them, I do what I want' but I noticed he was still upset, and being the fair one that I am I was like, 'you know what, I'll take all the guys off there, i really don't care' 'but take off that girl too, and then it will be fair.' Instead what does he do? He adds another girl to his list. I feel upset with him, but sometimes its hard to look at petty things like this when you're inside the box. Since I know he's stubborn, he might not be willing to delete that new girl (which would really upset me, because I think she's pretty....I'm a jealous one too)...so I kind of don't know how to go around something simple like this. Should I go to the point of not talking to him until he agrees to take the girls off his list? Should I just let it go? (but if i let it go, itll only make me feel like he stepped on me, when instead he should have dealt with it fairly. Especially after he said that one comment about not deleting skanky messages). I just dont know how to deal with it All or any advice would be great. Thanks.