jacs82 Posted October 29, 2005 Author Share Posted October 29, 2005 will i ever trust what a guy says again when he says nice things, and what will he be thinking right now Link to comment
jacs82 Posted October 29, 2005 Author Share Posted October 29, 2005 i havnt even eaten today cos i feel so sick Link to comment
jacs82 Posted October 29, 2005 Author Share Posted October 29, 2005 what do i do (tho i know it will never happen cos it hasnt before) if when i do this nc thing that he contacts me a week or 2 down the line? Link to comment
jacs82 Posted October 29, 2005 Author Share Posted October 29, 2005 my tummy hurts so much my heart hurt so much all my insides hurt so much i just want him to tell me hes made a mistake i dont even care for my health anymore Link to comment
jacs82 Posted October 29, 2005 Author Share Posted October 29, 2005 cos i still love him, why is love such a powerful thing? Link to comment
darkblue Posted October 29, 2005 Share Posted October 29, 2005 cos i still love him, why is love such a powerful thing? Because these sorts of emotions release addictive and powerful chemicals. Link to comment
jacs82 Posted October 29, 2005 Author Share Posted October 29, 2005 i dont wanna be addicted anymore, i want to shake it all out of me but it wont go away Link to comment
darkblue Posted October 29, 2005 Share Posted October 29, 2005 i dont wanna be addicted anymore, i want to shake it all out of me but it wont go away 'fraid it's not as simple as a light switch. You are going to take time to heal. Link to comment
Itsok Posted October 29, 2005 Share Posted October 29, 2005 What will you do? You'll learn, and move on. Just don't forget the learning part is all. Truly, this won't last forever. Certainly you'll feel badly for a while, but you've moved on before, you will again. How old are you anyway? You seem very young to me. Don't let this discourage you in life. It's only a relationship. A relationship doesn't define who you are or what you can do, only you can do that. It's when you let someone become absolutely everything to you and you have no other activities or interests that relationships become toxic. Link to comment
PavPPZ1 Posted October 29, 2005 Share Posted October 29, 2005 Baby, I will say that there are some options, but really its so hard when someone has your heart, and thats the power of love. You need to think about yourself and becoming a better stronger person. Do not think of him. I only hope another man can pick you up, to let you down from this easy. Lastly, as much as this is bad, it is good this will give you an opportunity to grow to become stronger, and to learn more about yourself. You have the opportunity to fulfill within yourself that void which is now left since he left. Life is about equilibrium, and you have pain because without him you are unbalanced, at this point the way to balance yourself out is to make these qualities presnet and strong within yourself, makeyourself happy. It is possible, yopu just have to want ti and pursue it, go get it baby, and good sex in the mean timme cant hurt. Good luck Link to comment
Rainz Posted October 30, 2005 Share Posted October 30, 2005 I read throught this whole thread, it really touched me, I can feel your pain so much just through reading your story. Monettlessa's posts have been very good I think. You really do need to focus on yourself right now, and try to come to terms with what has happened. It won't happen overnight, it will take time. You really are not alone, like you I've experienced alot of bad hurts from the men I've had relationships with, my most recent break up was very much like yours, in nearly all aspects that you have described, so I really can identify with you. There was one thing that was posted by Monetlessa, that people who behave the way your ex has done usually have a history of treating people the same way previously. Since my break up, I have learned from a very good source that my ex has a bad history of treating women the way he did me. As hard as it is you have to try not to keep analysing the situation and torturing yourself with questions that you will prehaps never get any answers for, and even if you have the answers how is that going to help you now? As far as being able to trust and believe other guys that you meet, I can't answer that question, I'm not too optimistic about them myself right now, however I look at myself and how I am as a person. I know I don't go around mistreating people, and treating them like crap, and just generally treating people as objects etc so if I'm like that - there must be other people out there who are too like that as well. When I remind myself of that it does bring me some sort of comfort. Hopefully you thinking that way may bring you some comfort too. Link to comment
jacs82 Posted October 30, 2005 Author Share Posted October 30, 2005 thank you for all your replys, this seems to be the only place i can come to to get some advice to settle me down, i tell some of my friends and some of them unintentionally say completely the wrong thing to really make me feel like it was my fault. i still aint eaten since friday and i hardly slept. the replys on here are great, the guilt is eating me alive i just wish i could turn bk time Link to comment
darkblue Posted October 30, 2005 Share Posted October 30, 2005 thank you for all your replys, this seems to be the only place i can come to to get some advice to settle me down, i tell some of my friends and some of them unintentionally say completely the wrong thing to really make me feel like it was my fault. i still aint eaten since friday and i hardly slept. the replys on here are great, the guilt is eating me alive i just wish i could turn bk time We all wish we could turn back time, at some point. But unfortunately, we can't and have to deal with situations which occur. You must now start looking after your own wellbeing - that means eat and sleep. It is all about you now. Link to comment
annie24 Posted October 30, 2005 Share Posted October 30, 2005 im so used to him being around, yet again i have another failed relationship to tell friends and family, and as time goes on and i get older and older my chances get less and less i want to have a family, my own house,children now i have to go thro the motions again of meeting someone new gettin to know them, lettin them see my bad habits and meeting my/his family and friends and that will happen i dont know how many times till im too old for anything anymore Hi - I am so sorry to hear about what you're going through, but honestly, he sounded like a jerk. I think that you're better off now. This paragraph you wrote struck me because I think it's such a shame if you are "putting your life on hold" waiting for Mr. Right. If you want a home, a family - do it yourself! I am in the process of buying my first home by myself (I'm single). Why should I put off my dreams of home ownership until I meet a man, and why should you? This may make you feel better - my mom and dad got married after knowing each other for 6 weeks. They were set up on a blind date. Things just worked. You never know what is around the corner. This guy just wasn't the right one. It's ok - just focus on healing yourself. It will be alright. Take care annie Link to comment
annie24 Posted October 30, 2005 Share Posted October 30, 2005 Oh yes, I definitely agree with you. Being single isn't so bad at all. I think the point I was trying to make was in response to when she talked about not wanting to go through the time and effort of meeting the parents, getting to know each other, feeling like she's too old for all that.... Just saying, you never know what the future holds. Better to focus on improving yourself and when the time comes, to building a good relationship, rather than focusing on "finding a husband." Link to comment
jacs82 Posted October 31, 2005 Author Share Posted October 31, 2005 wow there was loads of new messages when i logged on just now, thank you all so much for writing them to me. your all right i have to focus thinking this way. i might print off the conversation and put it on my wall and if i feel myself slipping again i can just reread it. i feel better today iv done so much thinkin and am beginning to think yes he was a jerk , theres so many things i put up with with him cos i didnt want to lose him. things like how he wouldnt interact and talk to my friends, he would just sit there, things like the times he hasnt been there for me, taken it personally when i needed him in a bad day. i shouldnt hav gone there cos iv been hurt i need to work on myself and do some things for myself instead of ignoring my own upsets for him. thank u guys so much.i still look at the phone to see if he will text me but i doubt he never will. i feel sad its a loss from my life but theres nothing i can do apart from lookin after myself Link to comment
Jdoccan Posted October 31, 2005 Share Posted October 31, 2005 Hi jacs82, It sounds like he might have been riding an emotional roller coaster. This is HIS issue, not yours. Don't blame yourself. You simply cannot measure your worth based on someone else's emotional state or opinion. If you do, you will continue to be hurt. In other words, try to bring your heart home. It also sounds like he doesn't know how to open up and be honest. I am trying not to be judgmental here, but he seems pretty wrapped up in himself. If this is the case, you do not want him. All of us deserve better. I agree with the other members in that chasing him would be a mistake. So, as hard as this is, maybe you should not be in a relationship for a while. Work on your happiness and wholeness. I have kept my heart close to home for quite a while now, and I have learned so much. It is a hard road for a time, but well worth it in the end. Try to take care of yourself, and keep releasing the emotions you are feeling. It will get better. It really will. Link to comment
jacs82 Posted October 31, 2005 Author Share Posted October 31, 2005 thank you. i still keep thinkin about it today, and get that weird sick feeling in my stomach, what does everyone do to get rid of that, i cant seem to just start thinkin about other things. i keep thinkin in my head maybe he met someone else or wants an ex girlfriend bk, it would kill me if that was the case cos it happened before and i wouldnt be able to take it Link to comment
annie24 Posted October 31, 2005 Share Posted October 31, 2005 thank you. i still keep thinkin about it today, and get that weird sick feeling in my stomach, what does everyone do to get rid of that, i cant seem to just start thinkin about other things. i keep thinkin in my head maybe he met someone else or wants an ex girlfriend bk, it would kill me if that was the case cos it happened before and i wouldnt be able to take it Time is your best friend. But, until then, just keep busy. Watch funny movies, go out with friends, get a puppy, volunteer, clean your apartment, etc etc etc. Keep yourself occupied!!! Link to comment
jacs82 Posted November 1, 2005 Author Share Posted November 1, 2005 hey guys, anyone that has been following this with me, just a small update- he text me last nite, all it said was "hope your ok jackie" and you know what i didnt have any urge to reply because i didnt wanna tell him well actually im bad i havnt eaten for 4 days because then i dont want the sympathy thing and i didnt wanna say yer im doing fine because then hes gonna think-thats ok then i dont have to worry and feel guilty hehe! Did i do the right thing not replying? do you rekon i will hear from him again? Link to comment
polaris Posted November 1, 2005 Share Posted November 1, 2005 You certainly did the right thing, and for the right reason, so give yourself a major pat on the back for that; I know it can't have been easy. I'm sure you'll hear from him again, so I would't worry about that. Well done! Link to comment
annie24 Posted November 1, 2005 Share Posted November 1, 2005 hey guys, anyone that has been following this with me, just a small update- he text me last nite, all it said was "hope your ok jackie" and you know what i didnt have any urge to reply because i didnt wanna tell him well actually im bad i havnt eaten for 4 days because then i dont want the sympathy thing and i didnt wanna say yer im doing fine because then hes gonna think-thats ok then i dont have to worry and feel guilty hehe! Did i do the right thing not replying? do you rekon i will hear from him again? Yeah, I think you did the right thing. Like you said, either way, it's not really a good result for you. Keep on NC. Focus on your healing. Link to comment
jacs82 Posted November 1, 2005 Author Share Posted November 1, 2005 everyone and i mean everyone keeps saying "has he found someone else" or they keep telling me storys of it happening to them when they got given a non-excuse that it was cos the other person had/were cheating, it keeps playing on my mind i dont know how to stop it. i dont wanna know if it was but i wanna know that that isnt it kinda thing. i dotn know how to stop it because its gettin me me everyday, is he happy with someone else? why wasnt i good enough? what could i have done to make him happier to not want to look, should i have been a better gf? this is such a rollercoaster. feeling bad again with these thoughts Link to comment
annie24 Posted November 1, 2005 Share Posted November 1, 2005 You know, Diana was beautiful and royal, but Camilla's the one who won Charles' heart. Love works in funny ways. I think it's best to work on the healing. Maybe you two just weren't compatible with each other. Link to comment
jacs82 Posted November 1, 2005 Author Share Posted November 1, 2005 ARGH HELP! hes just text me again saying "please dont ignore me, i want to know that your ok, i still care for you" what do i do help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment
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