what the heck happened?what did i do wrong?LONG !

[hitmanrva10]

k this is gonna be long

 

well i met a girl at a hooka bar and gave her my # and she called me the next day...we started going out and from the start she told me she didnt want anything serious in her life because she had just ended a 2 year relationship and was very busy with school and work....well anyways we kept going out and getting a lot closer and starting hugging and holding hands more...and finally we kissed....well the day after that she reminded me that she didnt want anythign serious with me and that she was getting feelings for me and that we should just stick to being friends with benefits....well i kinda agreed but i had already bought tickets for us to go to knotts scary farm so we decided to go anyways....so at knotts we had lots of fun and talked about it and we decided to date again but that we would date less(only once a week.....before it was like 3 times a week)....well ever since last wednesday(when we went to knotts) im the one who has called her and everytime i did she told me she would call me back later and wouldnt....well today we were talking online and she said that we should just be friends again....i said we should just stop talking cuz i didnt need any female friends....but she still said we should keep in touch....so i kinda agreed.....well whatever that was over....but later today we talked online and i asked her to be completely honest on what the problem was...and she said that she got kinda bored of me cause we went out too much and talked too much...and also that there was no point in going any further since she wasnt looking for a relationship...everything was going so well and all of a sudden she got bored of me? wtf why?i told her if she ever wanted to be serious with me to not hesitate to call me(which was prob a mistake)....but now whenever she calls me or txt me ill just ignore her so that she wants me back....will that work?

[cichlid]

Nah...I'd say move on (be just her friend if you want). She said she didn't want anything serious and she meant it. Nothing more can come from this except more confusion and frustration. People also need time to get over past relationships.

[DropToZero]

Yea, moving on is the best way to show you're not attached to some one or waiting for them. Word will get to her sooner or later if she really cares...anyways, that's what I'm doing man....I guess I'm in a sort of similar situation, except I didn't come to face her with what you did, I just knew that was what had happened...I gave up too much. You were too available also...cut down and keep your life unless it actually becomes something serious, then you can adjust it some.

[heloladies21]

You're smart, you recognize your mistakes right after you make them. Whatever the outcome, you'll win. Either she'll get her act together and try to get you back, or you'll move on and find someone else.

[Smarie]

I think she needs more time to get over her past relationship. Some times that can take a while. Be there for her but dont feel to needy. Talk once in a while, but dont clear your schedule to let her know that you are totally free whenever she wants to do something. Judging by the place and environment you met her in, that might have been just what she was looking for. So dont feel like it was your fault if you get let down. At least she came out and told you the truth, which means she does want to be honest with you, so maybe she is looking for a relationship somewhere down the line. Dont feel to desperate, but still be around once in a while as a close friend for her.

[hitmanrva10]

wow u guys give great advice on this forum....thanks a lot...just to clarify i think i was way too available....i wanted to make plans with her like a week in advance and we usually had like 2-3 dates planned in advanced....i would also be the one that usually started txting or calling the other... DO you guys think i should just keep being her friend? at first she said that and i told her "heck no" but now after i thought about it it might be a good idea...i know for a fact that she thinks im a great guy and that she finds me very attractive...but i guess she just got bored of seeing me so much....

[hitmanrva10]

also i think another mistake i made was that i think we told each other way too much about each other that we really had nothing to ask each other after a while.....im an idiot!

[heloladies21]

Friends will not work ever. Don't even try it. Don't blame yourself too much for this. In the big picture it's her fault for dumping you and not realizing what a catch you are.

 

Relax, you did fine. Just take things slower in your mind emotionally from now on.

[Dating Coach]

In regards to your last sentence, yes that was a mistake. You basically said that you had nothing better to do so whenever you decide that you want to see me then call me and I will be here waiting for you!

 

Another mistake was not figuring out what she was actually saying when she said that she was not ready for anything serious. You should have inquired further rather then sitting there being confused. "What does that mean? You don't want anything serious, so are you just looking for a friend? Are you looking just to date?" Once you found out what the heck she was up to you could have made the correct decision. If she was just looking to date (which I think she was) then you could have occasionally gone out and kept the phone conversations and such minimal. If she was just looking for a friend, then you could have thrown out your line of not wanting any more female friends at that time-which was probably the best thing you did. You made it clear to her what you wanted and didn't want, only it was a bit too late.

 

She's not going to be coming back. Forget her and keep on trucking brother.