in tears at the thought of it

[nuts]

i could really use some support from anyone else who has been thru what i am going through right now. i have been very depressed for years and have never done anything about it. i finally told my parents how i feel today. my dad (who doesnt live at home) kind of thought it was just dumb issue i needed to get over. he doesnt understand. my mum hasnt talked to me about it yet. im really worried to tell her. she has problems of her own, i dont want to burden her with the fact that she has a messed up son. its harder because i live away from home so contact is either by email or phone, with both of them.

 

its really difficult to explain to them what im going through. im in tears right now just writing it all down. i dont want to let them down or make them feel bad, but i cant keep this to myself any longer. its been like this for 5 years and its killing me inside.

 

the worst part is that i just moved out and met a bunch of new friends. but i keep pushing them all out. im making things more difficult for myself then they have to be. i wont let myself be happy and i dont even know why.

 

i guess i needed to get this all out. im really scared to think that im finally confronting this to my parents. i dont want them to have to worry about me but at the same i cant do this alone. id appreciate so much if anyone could share what theyve been thru, how theyve handled it. i will take everything to heart.

[metallicachica247]

see a psychologist. see if you have depression. get medications. its nothing to be ashamed of... just make yourself happier and get meds.

[comfortably_nmb21]

I totally understand how you're feeling. It took me years to tell my family that i was depressed. My dad and my boyfriend think it's something i'll grow out of or get over. My mom totally understands because she's the same as me.

 

As for you not doing somethign about it.. i think you're wrong. You have done somethign about it.. you've told your family you think you have a problem and that's a big step in the right direction. There are so many different directions you can take from here.

[Miss M]

Nuts, I'm really sorry you're going through this. I'd like to give some support if I can. I also suffer from depression.

 

my dad (who doesnt live at home) kind of thought it was just dumb issue i needed to get over. he doesnt understand.

A lot of people who don't understand will react like this. You may need to get help for yourself while others dismiss your problem. Don't let his opinion stop you from seeking help. Have you mentioned any of this to your doctor? Is there a counselor or minister, or anyone you can talk to who will be sympathetic and supportive? Try to reach out to those who will support you.

 

And from the rest you wrote, it sounds like you're worried about everybody else's needs above your own. You're worried about being a burden, and you're worried about being a disappointment to them. Yes, it's good to care for others, but you also need to take care of yourself. You can't protect your mom from your illness. You can't only worry about how hard it will be on her. You also have to worry about yourself. If you only worry about the well-being of others and not yourself, you reduce your chances of getting the help you need. It's really okay to look after your own needs. And if it's really impossible for your parents to be supportive to you, you're going to have to figure out how to get another type of supportive network around you. You deserve to be cared about, and you also are entitled to care about yourself.

 

Hope this helps.

[sugarandspice]

hey

 

am sending you a humungous HUG!!!!!!!!

 

i am on anit-d at the mo and have been through feeling very low over the years since i was about 12. gradually just got worse to the point in the last year i couldnt even see the point of being here.i let it all out in the open. i would cry in front of my mum all the time. dont think she knew how to deal with me. and at the end of the day she doe have to concentrate on her life and somtimes i feel like i was pulling her down. but i couldn't stant that no1 knew when i was feeling low as though i didnt want to be here, but obviously deep down there was the me that did, i showed my emotions i guess as a cry for help. i have seen a pyschologist and concellar as have an e.d but as yet have given up on both as both made me just hink about the situation more and sometimes would end up in tears.

 

even though i have come a long way since then. i'm now at uni. but theres not a day that has been by yet where i think omg i can't cope. and i think whats the point why am i here and sometimes question the point of life and feel down. othertimes i feel i can't cope in life in general and don't get how other people cope just in day to day life stresses!!!!!!

 

I NEED to feel like theres lots around me to talk to and who are there for me. basically i need to feel loved. at one point i felt like i had no-one and no-where to go. the feeling of lonleyness and that noone understands you.

 

i haven't been sooo depressed now for a while but just have thoughts of ow im going to cope just generally.

 

do you know exactly why you are depressed>?? i know sometimes i just feel down for no reason i can think off!!!!!and i need something to turn to. this is where food usually comes in!!!!!but waht i really need is someone to know to share how i feel, it's soooo important.

 

Last night i needed a hug so i sent a message to my mum asing if i could have one. and she sent me one back via text message!!SILLY i know. i then sent hugs to everyone in my phonebook who i like and made me realise i have got all these people around me who i connect to.

 

i hope you find somebody to talk to about things.

 

i am here if u wana post me

 

love S x

[BillyJean714]

Hey

I hope it's not too late by now and I hope that you're okay.. Sounds like you have a lot of pent up emotions. It's okay. Cry, let it ALL out. I know that some days are better than others. Sometimes, our memories of the past has so much of an impact on us that even the slightest thing that we hear, see, or smell that's associated with that memory brings us to tears instantaneously.

 

We all go through pain. Some have it worse than others. Did something happen to you in the past where you feel uncomfortable to tell anyone? If so, I understand. I've been through a lot myself. All I have to say is that you have to take it one day at a time. And, whatever it is that causes you to feel afraid to get hurt, any fears that you have, just realize that it is a result of what you endured. So, I won't just say that you need meds or anything, because I don't know you. All I have to say is when you feel down, stay busy. And, what also helps most is if you do things that you are most passionate about.

 

I see a lot of potential in you in a sense that it's usually people who have been through a lot, who survivie to be the stronger ones. Because later on in life, when they face more challenges, they know how to deal with things. That's one thing about pain that's interesting. Whereas those who don't have it as tough, don't know how to deal with their problems as effectively. So embrace yourself. Find strength in yourself. Believe in yourself. Take care of yourself. Be your best. And, when you meet people who try to pull you down, know that their payback will come some day. Really focus on you. When you feel as though as no one in this world truly understands, take some tme out to contemplate on things. Take your time to be introspective and reflect on positive things that make you you. Hang in there k? Find strength in yourself. It's there. You just have to dig deeper. One last thing- don't ever give up. Don't ever lose hope because you deserve the BEST and you know it! *hugs* Chin up. Take care.