lil_unique_me Posted October 6, 2005 Share Posted October 6, 2005 OK... long story short... my boyfriend was in a car accident on friday night... on his way to see me... and hes had to go back to hospital today cos hes in so much pain... and hes been put in a chair for the nxt 5 weeks while his back heals... the thing is... he was meant t meet me today... which ok... hes just found out hes gotta b in a chair... so im not the biggest thing on his mind right now... but how do i get it accross to him that im gonna stand by him whatever happens to him... that i deeply care for him and want t b with him even if he doesnt wanna see me... thats the dilemma... i just dnt know what to do anymore... i feel like someone somewhere is telling me n him that we aint meant t b together... and im ignoring them. Help me please im at my wits end... Catie xxx Link to comment
darkblue Posted October 6, 2005 Share Posted October 6, 2005 how do i get it accross to him that im gonna stand by him whatever happens to him... that i deeply care for him and want t b with him even if he doesnt wanna see me Why doesn't he want to see you? Link to comment
lil_unique_me Posted October 6, 2005 Author Share Posted October 6, 2005 just cos hes so proud... hes not come outright and told me that he doesnt wanna see me... but i can bet he doesnt wanna see me till hes all better... Catie xxx Link to comment
kellbell Posted October 6, 2005 Share Posted October 6, 2005 He probably does not want your pity and does not want you to see him like this. I mean his life has been changed for ever, there is a lot for him to take in and probably very scared. I would just try to repsect his wishes and let him adjust. Hugs to you and to him. Link to comment
BellaDonna Posted October 6, 2005 Share Posted October 6, 2005 but how do i get it accross to him that im gonna stand by him whatever happens to him... that i deeply care for him and want t b with him even if he doesnt wanna see me... Tell him how you feel, just like you told us in your post. Maybe he's depressed or embarrassed and doesn't want you to see him in that condition, so he's hiding. If you know his family- then show up at his house with a get well card and some gifts to cheer him up. Maybe he just needs to see that you love him for him, whether or not he's in a chair. BellaDonna Link to comment
lil_unique_me Posted October 6, 2005 Author Share Posted October 6, 2005 thats just it... its only for 5 weeks... so the doctors say anyway... i just want t b there for him and i really dnt know how to get that accross to him in anyway... help! Catie xxx Link to comment
kellbell Posted October 6, 2005 Share Posted October 6, 2005 Like Bella Donna suggested, go through his family. Leave a card, flowers, stuffed animal, or whatever you want to, with how you feel and that you will be there for him no matter what. I am sure he knows you care and that you are worried, this is his pride talking, nothing personal. I know it's hard but other than what has been suggested, there is not much else you can do. Link to comment
darkblue Posted October 6, 2005 Share Posted October 6, 2005 Tell Him!. With words... He may resent pity - but he should have nothing but admiration for a girlfriend that is willing to stick by him. Link to comment
HajiMaji Posted October 6, 2005 Share Posted October 6, 2005 I think things will be ok. It is very embarrasing for him I'm sure. You are doing great right now. It is going to take him a lot to get over his fear of seeing you. Stay patient. Dont get upset when he is insecure about seeing you. Understand it is because this was a huge ordeal both physically and mentally. Its a hard thing to accept. He could have died ya know? Im sure he thinks about that every day now, and its hard to come to terms with. So stay patient with him, dont get angry or take it personal that he doesnt want to see you. He isnt in his best state right now. Keep assuring him that you love him and you are so greatful he is 'alright'. People die. Tell him that you are so thankful he came out breathing and you dont care if hes in a wheel chair, because you love the dude and hes alive. Its hard to keep that talk light, but maybe it would be good for him to hear it. Maybe write a letter and tell his mom to send it to him. You will probably have to tell him quite a bit that you want to see him. Suggest that it would give him something to do, because otherwise hes gonna go crazy in there. Show him that you still care for him even if he resists for the first 10 times. Things like this are hard. I am very happy that you are trying your best to care for him here. Im sure he is goin through a lot, and even if he doesnt say it (or even realize it) im sure he will appretiate you. Link to comment
lil_unique_me Posted October 6, 2005 Author Share Posted October 6, 2005 basically... his fones off.. so i cnt call him on that.. its too late to go see him... gotta b back home in an hour or so... and so the only thing i have left t me is email... and ive just told him that ill stand by him whatever life throws at him... and ive also told his sister that... so i guess i just gotta try n see if that does the trick... till i get a reply i guess... i shud b expecting for it to b over Catie xxx Link to comment
Beec Posted October 6, 2005 Share Posted October 6, 2005 He's stuck in a chair, so he is going to be bored out of his skull after a while. Get him something he would enjoy that will help ease the boredom. After s hort while, I might consider (consider is the key word, not necessarily do it) ignoring his wishes and go to see him. I mgiht also consider a gift that will help him rehab for when he gets out of the chair, rubber bands to let him get soem exercise or something. Link to comment
kellbell Posted October 6, 2005 Share Posted October 6, 2005 Why would it be over?? He just needs TIME! Like the other poster said, he could have DIED! It a lot to reflect and to take in. Just let him be and recover. If it were you in the chair, would you want him to end things with you because you were tramatized over something like this?? Link to comment
Hope75 Posted October 7, 2005 Share Posted October 7, 2005 Maybe tomorrow you can go and see him, and just be there for him and treat him as you always do. He needs stability right now and it might be easier for you to just show him that you are going to be there rather than trying to convince him with words. Link to comment
gattsuga Posted October 12, 2005 Share Posted October 12, 2005 sometimes a guy's pride gets in the way. But I bet he really does truly appreciate every effort you're making to make him feel better. I say don't stop trying to make him feel special... I really think he likes it deep down... just his pride doesn't want you to see him weak... cuz a guy has to be strong and tough in front of his girl. it might be hard for you cuz he's not returning any of your love... but I think it'll be worth it after the 5 weeks are up Link to comment
Dako Posted October 24, 2005 Share Posted October 24, 2005 Show him through your actions. Right now he's probably getting attention from lots of people. If you smother him with attention and then fade away, he'll wonder about your true feelings. Be the one who still calls him in 5 weeks, not just the one who fills his room with flowers and balloons. Link to comment
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