Hepcat13 Posted October 5, 2005 Share Posted October 5, 2005 I am having a problem with my wife. Although she is beautiful, and im going to sound like a jerk but its a problem im having, she doesnt do anything seually for me. She is not good in bed no matter how hard i try new things, and most of all, her breasts are very small and i have been craving reg. size breasts. At least a high b cup. she is a very very small a cup to tthe point where she looks like a little girl and that really turns me off. It wasnt as much an issue when we were dating but now that were married i find myself looking at other womens breasts and just wondering what it would be like. We have talked about implants then she gets all offended later on and says i dont love her for her.. but this is a major problem for me that i dont get turned on by my wife. am i alone on this ? We argue all the time ( not about her brests) about frivilous stuff, and all im thinking is, well maybe we should get separated and i can have what i want sexually. I have NO sex drive with her and i feel so rotten about it, so when i try, i never climax or ejaculate.. Any Takers on this one? Link to comment
RooferGirl23 Posted October 5, 2005 Share Posted October 5, 2005 How long have you been married? its sounds to me like you need some time to "have fun" and find what you really want. its not all about sex you know, think about why you married her in the first place before making any rash desisions that you might regret later on. women are more that just breasts! Link to comment
Dannysgirl Posted October 5, 2005 Share Posted October 5, 2005 If she doesn't do anything for you sexually why on earth did you marry her? Sexual chemistry is an important part of any relationship, if its not there it could cause problems later on. Please do not tell your wife that her breasts are too small that is a horrible thing to say, why should she get breast implants just to satisfy your craving for bigger breasts? This is HER body you're talking about! How would you feel if she told you your penis was too small and she wanted you to have an extension? Link to comment
djedix Posted October 5, 2005 Share Posted October 5, 2005 women are more that just breasts! YEA! It's all about that fine butt! ermmm PERSONALITY! Link to comment
RooferGirl23 Posted October 5, 2005 Share Posted October 5, 2005 uuuggggg MEN!! ha ha ha!! Link to comment
RayKay Posted October 5, 2005 Share Posted October 5, 2005 If you were not sexually attracted to her, why did you marry her? Never marry someone that you want to CHANGE, or hope will CHANGE. Marry someone because you love them whom they ARE, no more, no less. It is VERY unfair of you to even REQUEST she get implants. Surgery is something she should do because SHE wants to, not for you, or anyone else. Small breasts do not make her less of a woman, or less feminine. There are plenty of shapes and sizes of woman out there, and different men will find different women beautiful. And there is more to being turned on by someone then the physical - your wife I am sure has plenty to offer that makes her very attractive and sexy. Anyway, you have married her now...so you need to decide what is right. Personally I think she deserves someone who loves her for whom she is, and does not tell her she should get implants. I feel kind of bad for her right now, because it seems whether you stay or go, it's going to really hurt her...but she does deserve someone whom sees her for more than what's on or not on her chest. Link to comment
Ariel Posted October 5, 2005 Share Posted October 5, 2005 why on earth did you marry her? More to the point, why did she marry you? She must have very low self-esteem, probably because of all your requests for her to have breast implants! How utterly shallow can you get? Link to comment
CATLOVER Posted October 5, 2005 Share Posted October 5, 2005 Hmmmmmm How long did you date for?? Just because a woman is beautiful doesnt mean there will be sexual chemistry. Actually alot of the time a man will start out very turned on by a beautiful woman only to find as they get to know each other that the sexual part drops off because she is really not what he wants in a partner. This is only a suggestion of course...only you know the answers.....but if the ZING aint there well........anyway I agree with above statements of be careful what you say to your wife...there is nothing wrong with her because her breasts are small...some men will love that.....so dont go making her feel inadequate....... Keep us posted Link to comment
busterkeaton Posted October 5, 2005 Share Posted October 5, 2005 Sex is mostly in the brain isn't it? Who cares about breast size - any if sexy isn't it? It seems to me that perhaps you should have "sowed your wild oats" a little more before getting married. Loose the implant idea - it's just not the same as natural and to be honest, it's kind of creepy. Link to comment
Hepcat13 Posted October 5, 2005 Author Share Posted October 5, 2005 By NO means do i make her feel inadequate, and thanks for the rapid reply .. some of which were entertaining. this is a feeling i have inside that i do not verbalize with her.. It started when i was caught ( we were dating at the time) giving a second look to another woman with breasts bigger than hers.. I think i left something out.. Im not ragging on her what so ever about her size.. and im trying to get over this gap where " boobs dont mean squat" ... I really did laugh when asked " what if she said you had a small penis" point very well taken .. But like i said it isnt enough that she doesnt do anything to me while making love is that im having these fantasy's about something over an A cup.. But riddle me this. Why is it that most women with this size have padded bras, and uses those fake boob rubber things to stuff.. I know thats going to cause all the women to lash out at me, but on a Mans side.. theres only so much we can comprehend.. Link to comment
Ariel Posted October 5, 2005 Share Posted October 5, 2005 I'm amazed you're actually old enough to BE married - you sound all of 13 years old. Get over the boob thing - there's more to a marriage than that! Link to comment
sweetheart230 Posted October 5, 2005 Share Posted October 5, 2005 Did you not have sex with her before you were married? How long have you been married for. If it this is a recent thing, that you aren't turned on by her, then maybe it can be fixed. But if you have always felt this way, then why did you get married? Link to comment
Hepcat13 Posted October 5, 2005 Author Share Posted October 5, 2005 i guess sometimes this forum should be called " You are Alone" Why did she marry me? Because she loves me and i her. But im talking sexually now.. I think i should have posted in another topic rather than commitment. i have sowed my oates.. or how ever that saying goes. I have lived a very full life and im @ the young age of 28. But all the women i have been with were @ least a handfull.. Its hard to tell this to women and not make me look like the Villian on a Lifetime TV network. Link to comment
Hepcat13 Posted October 5, 2005 Author Share Posted October 5, 2005 If it this is a recent thing, that you aren't turned on by her, then maybe it can be fixed. But if you have always felt this way, then why did you get married? Thats what im trying to do is fix these feelings that i have .. I have felt this way while we were dating but like i said wasnt that much an issue. And i said to myself Screw that .. i love this woman and she is BEAUTIFUL so i will marry and put these feelings behind me. But they have surfaced again. Link to comment
RayKay Posted October 5, 2005 Share Posted October 5, 2005 i guess sometimes this forum should be called " You are Alone" Why did she marry me? Because she loves me and i her. But im talking sexually now.. I think i should have posted in another topic rather than commitment. i have sowed my oates.. or how ever that saying goes. I have lived a very full life and im @ the young age of 28. But all the women i have been with were @ least a handfull.. Its hard to tell this to women and not make me look like the Villian on a Lifetime TV network. No, I don't think that's what people are saying. It is FINE if you have preferences for someone with a larger chest...but it is not fair that you married your wife KNOWING you were not attracted to her because she did not. Yes, love is important, but so is sexual compatibility and attraction - your wife needs to feel desired for whom she is. It's not like she gained 50 lbs after you married, she has had this chest since BEFORE you married..and changing one's chest is major surgery, which brings it's own risks with it. If you love your wife, then stay with her. Look at porn now and then or take your wife shopping for sexy outfits that accentuate her beauty - small breasts and all. But if you do not even feel attracted to her...I don't know what to tell you. Link to comment
Ariel Posted October 5, 2005 Share Posted October 5, 2005 I think the problem is with you, not your poor wife - you need to remind yourself how lucky you are to have her and focus on all the things that make her wonderful - of which I'm sure there are many. Nothing you do is going to make her miraculously grow a huge porn-star bust, you need to accept that. And to be honest, be glad she's petite - those girls with massive jugs are going to be hugely fat in ten years time, while your wife will still be lovely and slim and youthful, and in proportion! Why not buy her some really pretty undies that flatter the figure she's got, instead of wishing she were something different! Enjoy what you've got. Link to comment
RayKay Posted October 5, 2005 Share Posted October 5, 2005 And to be honest, be glad she's petite - those girls with massive jugs are going to be hugely fat in ten years time, while your wife will still be lovely and slim and youthful, and in proportion! Um, that's not really true either. What makes someone fat is eating too much in comparison to what they burn and being sedentary. You can do that whether you are flat chested or have larger breasts. You can also be large and have a small chest, or be petite and have a large one (all natural too). Having bigger breasts is not a guarantee you will be hugely fat - many women do take care of their bodies throughout their lives. Many others do not...and will see the results of that no matter what size their chest. Link to comment
sweetheart230 Posted October 5, 2005 Share Posted October 5, 2005 I don't know that much cause I'm young, but I took a sociology class over the summer called sexual relationships marriage and family, and it was just a forum for people to learn about these aspects of life. And one thing that seemed to ring true for all of the people is that sexual compatability is almost a requirement for a good marriage. Maybe sex therapy would help you. It seems very unfair to her that she tries hard to please you and it just doesn't do it for you because her chest isn't big enough. You seem frustrated with it too, but it must be very hard for her. Link to comment
Ariel Posted October 5, 2005 Share Posted October 5, 2005 Well, I was generalising, but it does tend to be the case quite often! Link to comment
sweetheart230 Posted October 5, 2005 Share Posted October 5, 2005 And to be honest, be glad she's petite - those girls with massive jugs are going to be hugely fat in ten years time, while your wife will still be lovely and slim and youthful, and in proportion! Hey, I have big breasts. And I'm relatively thin. hugely fat? Well I know what to look forward to in my thirties. Guess I better get married before I get hugely fat and all the lovely, slim, youthful in proportion ladies steal all the good men. Link to comment
Ariel Posted October 5, 2005 Share Posted October 5, 2005 No need to attack, I did SAY I was generalising! Link to comment
novaseeker Posted October 5, 2005 Share Posted October 5, 2005 Thats what im trying to do is fix these feelings that i have .. I have felt this way while we were dating but like i said wasnt that much an issue. And i said to myself Screw that .. i love this woman and she is BEAUTIFUL so i will marry and put these feelings behind me. But they have surfaced again. Now THAT was a mistake. Never ever, EVER, take doubts like that into a marriage. It's very unfair to you and, more pointedly, to her. It's VERY important that the spouses are sexually attracted to each other, very much so, for the marriage to work. I can't tell you how many people make the mistake of shoving doubts like that under the rug and thinking "bah, it's not a big deal" ... these things always resurface. At this point, you have to work like heck to change your mind about those feelings, because you're now married. To do otherwise wouldn't be fair to you and your wife. Link to comment
sweetheart230 Posted October 5, 2005 Share Posted October 5, 2005 Look, all I'm saying is that you need to resolve this problem. These kinds of feelings are what leads to adultery later on. It is unfair for her and you need to really think about if you want to be married to someone beautiful that you are not attracted to. There are sex therapists out there. Making her go through painful surgery is not necessarily the answer. She might resent you for it, and feel terrible that you don't love her for who she is. Link to comment
Ariel Posted October 5, 2005 Share Posted October 5, 2005 Sex therapy could be a good idea, but you'd have to be incredibly tactful about your reasons. Telling her "I think we should have therapy because your boobs are too small and you just don't do it for me" is not going to do your relationship, or her confidence, any favours! To be honest, I'm quite surprised, you must be the first guy I've ever heard say that size DOES matter! Link to comment
novaseeker Posted October 5, 2005 Share Posted October 5, 2005 I think couples relationship therapy might be a better idea. My guess is that you have already wounded your wife's self-esteem significantly by suggesting she needs implants to be sexually attractive. That in itself will harm your emotional intimacy with her, which will in turn make sex less appealing. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now